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Ladybabs, 54 y.o.
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Date: October 23, 2022
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Ew he's gross. I got pink eye too because some guy didn't wash his hands. I'm not going to date someone who puts laziness over health. Dump that loser.
Has he deleted the photos yet? I understand not deleting the texts/posts/location but if he is keeping pictures of her on his phone or computer that is a pretty big sign he hasnt actually moved on, and is still holding onto her for some reason
Probably not: he's probably just trying to manipulate you.
But if he did decide to do that, that would be on him. That doesn't make any of it your fault, and it doesn't obligate you to take care of him. That's not how anything works.
* I don't know about the culture you online in, so I don't know if you might be at risk from his parents if he went through with it. If that's the case, I'm just not competent to offer any advice here. What I said is still morally true, though.
Cheaters and affair partners always have this “It wasn't just cheap sex, it was everything”. Because in their mind they are different. Like “Yes, he had sex with multiple women but I was different, it was the most intense and passionate thing I have evet felt, he reached all the perfect points and after we talked until sunrise! See, I was different for him.” This is the most common stunt cheaters pull on their affair partners. You weren't special for him, he probably had more fun with other women. Your feelings are not important, this isn't about you, it is about that poor fiance.
Oof!
I think it's hot for you to get over because you messed it up by being pushy way to soon. You showed that you were high maintenance and he told it to you straight that he didn't have time for all that.
I'm sorry you let a good thing slip through your fingers but there is a lesson to be learned here. I'd say 4-6 months is the time frame to begin talking about whether a relationship is going somewhere. Before that how would he eve know?
Spend some time doing self care and be kind to yourself. It'll get easier with time.
Start calling him Kip. From Napoleon Dynamite.
know I've been in abusive relationships before and they felt nothing like this. He's not like those guys this is the first time he's ever done something like this. I just don't know how we can recover. Any advice about how to get through this would be appreciated.
First time almost turned out to be the last day of your marriage
This is the literal definition of abuse.
He took a very “pen and paper” problem and went straight to divorce. He's creating an artificial void for you to sink in. It's a tactic developed to get a “Yes” out of you everytime.
Everytime you bring up “chores” “equal or “uniform distribution of responsibilities” he'll head straight to
I want divorce
I'm sorry, i Don't know why i did that
Ya don't have to take me back (a white page for you to sign, coz he knows acknowledging his designed “mistake” will make you feel otherwise about him.)
We'll work out on this. “Therapy, individual and couples” yada yada annd as time passes he'll revet to day one dark
Rinse and Repeat so i don't have to do chores.
He'll put that much effort to avoid responsibility but won't improve
they can wear their little red hats and flaunt their little southern flags as long as they're not shoving it down my throat ⚆ﻌ⚆
That's what I was thinking
The first thing abusers do is isolate their victims and manipulate them into being their whole world. This relationship is fresh and you are already feeling stuck. This won’t get better, only worse. Be very very careful with birth control. If she even gets a whiff of you leaving her she will do everything she can to prevent that from happening.