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Lanny, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 23, 2022
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He deserves to have all the information about her behavior before they get married so he can make an informed choice. It is absolutely his right to know.
People with addictions are not known for being entirely truthful at all times, either with others or themselves.
The other alternative is that he's cheating, so…
Get professional help for her RIGHT NOW
What I've done with friends in the past who are going through episodes is to send them a message, without expecting a reply, that you are thinking about them and care about them. It's worked for me and after they've told me they loved the message.
About contacting his sister-it's tough. You won't seem crazy at all, just concerned. She might not even know he is going through an episode. He might not like that you did that, but if you are worried, it's worth it.
Leave him alone. He's comfortable by himself and that's admirable. Enjoy your weekend fully, do not feel bad. And be grateful he isn't guilt tripping you or being toxic. Congratulations by the way!
This is my theory obviously. I was sure I’d ditch her. We were into each other for months though and hesitated because of work. I then got her number but still hesitated in texts. She messaged me on Friday fishing for a date on the weekend and I declined. She may then gone on a date/hooked up with someone instead. I then messaged her on Sunday, and asked her out on Tuesday, she was genuinely excited that I admitted I had feelings for her. We then slept together.
Could she have felt ashamed she slept with 2 dudes in 4 days? And then pulled back to make it seem more “respectable”?
I just wanted to pop in to say thank you. It's rare for people to reflect on their mistakes and use that lesson to help others.
They aren't the same.
She didn't raise them alone. Her parents were still around. As someone who also had a hand in raising my siblings, I can tell you it's very different than the responsibilities of raising children as a parent . In one situation you do tasks to help your parents out. In the other you have to consider their housing, food, physical development, your possible career trajectories and how they may affect kids, their social development, etc.
So in some ways I'm reinforcing your point because it will be harder, but on the other hand, it's not the same situation and won't be the same experience.