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Lexi, 21 y.o.
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Date: December 1, 2022
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The fact that you had to be convinced is more problematic than you not finding extra partners, I think.
I’ve been where you are, went along with it because I loved them….but hooooo-boy, when I started getting attention, shit hit the fan. So, that’s one thing to look out for.
The biggest problem I’ve faced with poly is that almost no one knows how to do it right and most people seem to be under the impression that it’s just a way to have your cake and eat it too.
Focus more on how this arrangement is making you feel, rather than how successful you are in a situation you probably didn’t want to be in anyway.
There’s nothing wrong with being monogamous. There is everything wrong with being manipulated into situations you aren’t enthusiastic about.
If everything was so perfect between you and him then why did you break up?
If that’s the case, then use a sex worker.
You weren’t out of line, look at the research. Everything you’re sharing is correct, look at Mom groups. There is a group called bridging the gap community group on facebook, join it, see what happens to women. That darn chat and lalaletmeexplain on instagram.
He literally has no idea and if he doesn’t understand how often women are the default for everything, parenthood doesn’t impact the non primary parent the same.
Look at these groups, see the lived experience. He sounds like a stonewaller, he doesn’t want resolution, he wants to punish you for having agency and wanting him to be accountable.
I'm not having fun, It's naked to really say if they are self absorbed because I can't tell if it's intentional or non malicious. I have great friends back where I go to school. It's just always like this when I'm back home.