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Lexiii17, y.o.
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Date: December 6, 2022
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You're just listing off more reasons why this idea of a relationship with this person would never work.
Be careful she doesn’t sneak some of her blood in your drink or something so you guys can be hiv+ blood sisters or some psychotic shit
You don't need to appeal to everyone. If you're emotionally healthy enough to feel your feelings and cry instead of repressing and getting angry (LPT, crying is healthier) you're also going to want a partner who's mature enough to appreciate that. That's it.
Ftr I'm fortyish, my also fortyish (male) partner is perfectly fine with crying in front of me, and I think it's fantastic that he does.
No I don't think it's justified as it would be things where there's no right answer, just opinion. He often just cuts the conversation short and says there's no point because it's ridiculous. He's even done it to my family members before and it's so embarrassing. He never bothers truly listening or finding out why I think that way, if its not in agreement with him he doesnt want to know.
I told him last year how i was feeling at the time and we did try this app called Paired which is basically live! couples therapy in a way, it helped for a while and it was improving but soon went back to the old way.
You’re missing everyone’s point. This can’t be fixed. Why in the world would she want to change anything? She’s living a great life. So that leaves you either changing her or changing your situation and the first isn’t happening. Ever.
Its an illusion to think you can change anyone but yourself in this situation. You are enabling her and afraid to do or say anything that might hurt her or make her mad so you’re saying you can’t be honest with her.
Dude, I hate saying it but I would seriously wonder if she had something(s) going on outside your relationship. She is getting everything with full security and you get to work two jobs and come home and cook and clean.
I would absolutely address the lack of sex with her. Just tell her you can’t go on like it is and see what she says. That will tell you a lot.
And I know it hurts to hear but you are being a chump but you can choose to change that by setting some boundaries. She might leave. Thats a real possibility but what are you actually losing? Working yourself to death and being miserable?
The nude part is that it is! Some of these things also happened back-to-back very recently, and our relationship is otherwise great in all other aspects. He is respectful to my family, etc. I just can’t seem to understand why he’s acting like this with my friends — why can’t he be on time for them, or respect their time???
Remind me! 2 weeks
Yeah, I guess that's true, but he wasn't ready for them to know. I just feel so bad
This is a phenomenal response I probably shouldn't even try to add to. But I'll say this:
If her bf is truly in love with her, she clearly doesn't understand what makes him tick and Vice versa.
He should definitely have tried harder if he did. But op has to understand that a guy who doesn't care at all about these dates, no matter how much he loves her, she will ALWAYS be let down or need to temper her expectations.
Likewise, she should probably figure out what makes him happy instead of planning things for herself when the anniversary is about both of them.
I get it, having moved frequently ourselves due to career stuff. Most of the time we’ve made lifelong friends. On some occasions, though, feeling compelled to make friends has landed us into associating with people we don’t care for or have much in common with. None of the things you listed are actually small things. They’d all be deal breakers in my book. If I was you, I’d just quietly cool this association and use the time that frees up to become involved in your community in some way that is meaningful to you. I get that you don’t like the community, I’ve been there too, but I’ve always been better off getting involved and I’m sure you will too.