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Model from: fr
Languages: fr,en
Birth Date: 1975-08-23
Body Type: bodyTypeAthletic
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
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Date: April 10, 2023
Now you've told him the first story its going to be so much harder to believe the second story
Regardless of his thoughts though it's best to get some therapy if you think it will help you
He is the problem, not you.
And you have dodged a bullet by no longer being engaged with him. So end the relationship fully (if you haven’t already done so)
Now make sure the rest of the bullets hit him squarely by telling everyone that he has been unfaithful in the relationship – it won’t matter to his family (especially parents and the generations older than him) that it was supposedly an open relationship (I say supposedly as a true open relationship is above all else – equal. So if you are not allowed to see local guys, he is not allowed to see local girls etc.) as they either won’t understand it, or won’t accept it, so his seeing of other women is cheating as far as they will be concerned.
As adultery is severely frowned upon and result in discharge, he is saying that he works late and has no control over his schedule, but pretty sure he is cheating.
That’s why he doesn’t have valid excuse for the divorce.
How is he? Was he seriously injured?
If your stepdad wants to have his own family, and your mother cannot give him that for biological reasons, then they are not right for each other. It's no different than if someone needs emotional support, and doesn't get it. Your partner is supposed to fulfill your needs, otherwise the relationship won't work. Needs and life goals must align. Your mother has passed her child bearing years and there's nothing wrong with that, but the man who is right for her is one who doesn't want more babies. Of course, I don't know all the details of their relationship so all I can do is speculate.
If you love your stepdad, then maintain a relationship with him. What you'll often find in these situations is your mother will try to use you to hurt him, because she is hurt. In a case like this, your mother isn't actually trying to help you, she's trying to use you as a tool of vengeance. You don't have to hide it from your mother, but you must set boundaries. If he was and still is an important part of your life, then keep him in your life and tell your mother that. If she refuses to understand, then it's a lack of maturity on your mother's part. You may think older people can handle relationship pain with more grace, but I can tell you that is definitely not the fact! I've seen older women hold grudges over something that happened literally 50 years ago! They can't let it go and they can't forgive. Ultimately, how you online your life is your choice, and you shouldn't allow anyone else, even your mother, to strong arm you into behaving a certain way only because it gives her a little schadenfreude. Good luck.