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Lillie, 18 y.o.
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Date: October 13, 2022
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Late to this post, but something very similar happened to me.
I dated someone for 10 months several years ago. We were like madly in love. Spent almost every day together, traveled the world. She talked about wanting to move in with me, and we were literally naming our children.
Then one week she started being super mean to me. Like a total 180. I tried to ask her what was going on, and she accused me of being dramatic. I looked at her phone (which I know is bad, but I could tell something was up), saw that she was lying to me about a few things, including planning to move away from the city we both lived in.
She went absolutely crazy that I looked at her phone, and I was mad she was lying to me and we broke up. Within like 5 days we went from spending the rest of our lives together to having a terrible break up.
I spent the next month or two trying to figure out what happened. I could never get a satisfactory answer. I tried asking her, I talked to a shrink, whatever – nothing could give me an answer. I was super depressed, the emotions were all consuming.
Then one day I decided to get back out there and find someone else. I dated a ton of people, and I was still pretty down – until I eventually met the right woman for me. We fell in love and several years later we have an amazing relationship and two great kids. She's someone who will ALWAYS talk to me when we're having problems. Someone who takes my feelings into consideration and has NEVER made a rash decision that would hurt me.
I still think about my ex here and there, still can't really understand what happened – but I'm not really bothered by it anymore. I'm happy!
This is all to say, she wasn't the right person for you.
The right person is out there, and whatever happened to you with this last woman will inform your choices moving forward. Like, think of it as an 8 month learning experience. Even thought it was an abrupt end, you can probably think of a few warning signs. And now you know what to avoid going into future relationships.
Best of luck. You're never going to get the answers you need right now, but that's OK! Move on.
Has you shown him all of those messages (just those, he shouldn't look through your phone in general or anything), and told/shown him that you were concerned it might count as cheating and asked a friend about it?
Letting him know that you'll ask him if he'd consider something like that cheating if anything similar comes up in the future is the way to go I think. Ask him what the boundaries are if you're ever unsure.
From your gfs perspective, you’re still watching her stories.
you apparently didn’t even read the genders in the title
It's your body and you do whatever makes you feel safe and comfortable.
Except they throw birthday parties for him. He’s full of shit. He’s never bothered to ask why they don’t like you. He’s never said hey, why don’t you give her a chance, you’ll really like her. Because he doesn’t care. Because it’s you being treated badly not him.
He wants more sex. Sex without condoms. Sex without commitment. If you keep giving in to what he wants he'll soon want blow jobs, anal sex, a threesome, sex on video … Whatever he can get that tickles his fancy. He'll keep crying, manipulating you and acting like he's such a good friend because that act of his has worked so far, even if it's taken 5 years and he was also able to play or be with other girls while he worked and waited for you to come around.
If you stay in touch with him he will probably keep manipulating and playing you. You know the type of person he is now. Just about everyone is telling you to drop him because he's not really a friend. You need to wise up, accept you were naive before but try harder not to fall for his lies again. Really you shouldn't believe anything that comes out of his mouth. He's not trustworthy.