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  1. But at the same time, I’m not sure if I’m being naive in how we can make a relationship work and not grow resentful with such different values

    I'm glad you recognize that this is about values. When this topic comes up, I always see people diminish the problems as just “differences of opinion,” and argue that you should be able to ignore that, and that you shouldn't reject someone “just because you don't agree on everything.”

    But it's more important than that. Some differences aren't just about opinions, they're about values, how you see the world. Liking Star Wars more than Star Trek is or thinking blue is a prettier color than purple are opinions, thinking abortion is murder that should be banned or is a fundamental right that every woman should have is a matter of your values. So don't you want someone who shares your values, especially if you're planning to raise a family with them? Because these values will affect how you do that.

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