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You have been talking to m for a year but you have never met him? I wouldn't count on him at all. It's up to you and the father to decide where you go from here. Talk to the dad and work it out.
Put some oil on the door an fix the squeak. Then just leave flushing till everyone’s awake in the morning, if she is against that idea then just try to be the first up in the toilet before her in the morning an flush it before she knows any better. Problem solved.
Or just don’t marry her and leave her if she is that difficult.
Couple options for you there lol. Goodluck either way.
I don't understand it either… I got ghosted last year like that. I kept on sending the guy messages for a month after I was ghosted by him. They weren't bad, I was way too nice in them actually. He even went live immediately after one or two of those meesages. I felt instant relief because it was like he answered me but of course I never heard from him again. I definitely learned my lesson not to run after a person like that again and not to ask for the why.
I don't see this as a deal breaker but absolutely talk to her about how she behaved AT A COMPANY PARTY while drunk. She should never ever get drunk at a company function. If you clearly explain (or even demonstrate) to her how she was behaving I'm betting she'll be incredibly embarrassed and humiliated to know she did that to coworkers. What she did was not right and I'm not excusing it but alcohol really can make people do stupid shit.
What he said about his tax money and “guys chopping their dicks off” reminded me so much of my ex-boyfriend I had to do a double take.
You're right, the more common outcome is for these views to escalate and worsen. All people deserve to be with partners who share their core values. For me, this would be an insurmountable difference.
We are flirting, yes. I am single, she is single. She knows im interested in her but duo to circumstances i am unaware off, she has made it clear in the past that i was no option for her. “Something complicated”
So i moved on and dated other girls/women. We have in the time between then and now build a genuine friendship. We go out together a lot, she goes out of her way to see me, which is really nice and we do appreciate each others company. I cook for her when shes around and she even thanked me for treating her incredibly well and what not.
I am learning to be just a friend to her and i told her that because i genuinly like her as a person and enjoy her companie, as she has a calming effect on me, too.
I am anxious because i felt hurt after she said that. I do have some feelings for her that i intend to outlive, like a good friend does.
No, you are! Stop telling people how to live their lives. Just because you think it doesn’t mean other people cannot mention it. Bore off! Like hunters like you will spend your lives so f miserable as you spend your life just trying to p1ss people off. Called mood hoovers or life suckers.
As far as we're aware, she didn't even cheat or anything. Nothing ever became inappropriate between her and the Coworker to our knowledge. I get it probably difficult to process but he's reacting as if she had an affair when a crush is literally just a crush. She is committed to him. But usually you can't help crushes and it should pass relatively soon.
It sounds like you and your new bf aren’t ready for a committed relationship. So let him know you’re dating but not exclusive as neither of you seem ready, he hides girls on his phone and you’re not over your ex. Then do whatever. You may lose them both in the process, but better to be honest than sneak around because if you sneak around then you will truly lose them both.
Your mom has not treated you properly for your entire life. Children should not be the main confidant for a parent. That emotional dependence wasn't healthy for either of you.
Decline the meeting. Move in with your BF and enjoy.
I didn't suggest talking to her about her hair. I just made that comparison to OP, so that he could better understand that he's not going to be able to simply change her preference overnight.
Also it sounds like you have never given him any real consequences for his behavior. If you don’t have the courage to actually leave him like you should, you need to at least give him strong consequences for his behavior.
Consequences aren’t things you tell/ask him to do (like asking him to talk to her less), they are things YOU do and control. I would leave and stay with family if I saw him chatting with her and I would literally ignore hubby until he contacted me telling me what he was going to do to fix the situation (“I want you to come home, I blocked her on discord and informed my friends that I won’t game with them anymore “).
Why would he choose you when you are letting him have both of you. Take yourself away.
Thank you ❤️ I actually have read thay somewhere myself, probably here on reddit to be honest. I am absolutely in a better place now than I was this time last year emotionally, but it comes on strong sometimes still!
Literally the third sentence in your post is that he’s not in the right headspace to date. And no matter what mental gymnastics you do, there’s no grey area in relationships – either you’re in one (even if it’s an open relationship) or you’re not and both parties are free to do whatever they desire because they don’t have anything to lose
And I understand you’re a good person trying to do the right thing, but good luck with that. Unfortunately very soon you’ll learn that there’s no such thing as unrequited love or even niceness, you only give effort to those who value and appreciate it. Imagine if you interview at a place tomorrow and they say they can’t pay you, but you say you’ll come in anyway and do the job for free. Do you think they’ll ever want to lose free labor? Don’t you think you should be working at a place that compensates you for your time and hardwork? That’s exactly what you’re doing by being overly nice to guys like this guy – you’re giving him free labor
Does she have a nude time saying “no” to her friends? It is possible this is the case and she's telling you so that you'd a) be the “bad guy” and say no for her, b) she just really, honestly wants to impress her friends or c) she is already thinking of making (or has made) a tinder account. aka, plans to cheat or is already cheating.
Is she on the spectrum? This would make option b the most plausible.
I’m confused, you already have a child, while I get wanting to take things slow and not having casual sex, what’s the point of waiting till marriage? What if he’s terrible in bed or you have no chemistry? I also don’t think it’s appropriate to introduce your child to someone you aren’t seriously dating. As far as your question goes, just wait until you can meet next
I was engaged in college to a very feminine woman with a passive, non-argumentative personality. Best thing that ever happened to me was her cheating on me. Met my now wife of 20 years and she has her feminine side but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t tell me when she thinks I’m wrong or being an asshole. I can’t understand guys that seek out meek, passive women. Give me assertive any day.
Is there some previous friction with your friends and your bf or something? I’m trying to figure out why there’s this nuclear reaction over… truly nothing really. The only people I know who have this much investment in their birthdays are 21 and younger.
Btw, congrats on the engagement! The ring pop is very dorky but adorable.
I think to understand what you should do, you need to clarify a few things, and think about how the relationship is going at the moment. Who's taking care of the chores at home (laundry, cooking, cleaning, shoping)? Do you both have chores equally or does one have more to do? who's paying for what and how much? how will you handle it when you have one child, two children or three? Things like that. The person he is now, will be the person he'll be in the future when you're not-married. if he's not helping now, but telling you “of course i'll help when we have kids. I'll take care of them as well.” then don't just believe them in the hopes he'll suddenly change. Also look at the prices for babysitters, cooks, cleaners, personal driver and assistant to get a sense of what a stay at home parent is worth to their family.
I am always a fan of prenups, but i think in this case, your BF is way more interested in keeping what he earns in the years you might be together, than having a fair split of what you gained together.
if he really only worries about what is left should your marriage dissolve, then get a prenup, and keep your finances in mine/yours/our accounts, so that only the ours account (for rent, insurance, and so on) needs to be split.
I just finished school and started working so I’ve been saving. He doesn’t save anything and is usually broke by the end of the week. So I don’t see him making an effort to move out. I feel like its all on me to get us out of his parents home.
And you want to keep dating this guy, let alone marry him? Five years of irresponsible finance decisions and you look at him and say: I would marry him?
You have been talking to m for a year but you have never met him? I wouldn't count on him at all. It's up to you and the father to decide where you go from here. Talk to the dad and work it out.
Put some oil on the door an fix the squeak. Then just leave flushing till everyone’s awake in the morning, if she is against that idea then just try to be the first up in the toilet before her in the morning an flush it before she knows any better. Problem solved.
Or just don’t marry her and leave her if she is that difficult.
Couple options for you there lol. Goodluck either way.
If a close friend told you this about her bf, what would you tell her?
There are plenty of men and women who don't rely on porn and actually know how to use their imagination.
Anyone who says they NEED porn is an addict
What answer are you expecting to get, that won’t be completely based on racist stereotypes?
I don't understand it either… I got ghosted last year like that. I kept on sending the guy messages for a month after I was ghosted by him. They weren't bad, I was way too nice in them actually. He even went live immediately after one or two of those meesages. I felt instant relief because it was like he answered me but of course I never heard from him again. I definitely learned my lesson not to run after a person like that again and not to ask for the why.
I don't see this as a deal breaker but absolutely talk to her about how she behaved AT A COMPANY PARTY while drunk. She should never ever get drunk at a company function. If you clearly explain (or even demonstrate) to her how she was behaving I'm betting she'll be incredibly embarrassed and humiliated to know she did that to coworkers. What she did was not right and I'm not excusing it but alcohol really can make people do stupid shit.
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What he said about his tax money and “guys chopping their dicks off” reminded me so much of my ex-boyfriend I had to do a double take.
You're right, the more common outcome is for these views to escalate and worsen. All people deserve to be with partners who share their core values. For me, this would be an insurmountable difference.
We are flirting, yes. I am single, she is single. She knows im interested in her but duo to circumstances i am unaware off, she has made it clear in the past that i was no option for her. “Something complicated”
So i moved on and dated other girls/women. We have in the time between then and now build a genuine friendship. We go out together a lot, she goes out of her way to see me, which is really nice and we do appreciate each others company. I cook for her when shes around and she even thanked me for treating her incredibly well and what not.
I am learning to be just a friend to her and i told her that because i genuinly like her as a person and enjoy her companie, as she has a calming effect on me, too.
I am anxious because i felt hurt after she said that. I do have some feelings for her that i intend to outlive, like a good friend does.
No, you are! Stop telling people how to live their lives. Just because you think it doesn’t mean other people cannot mention it. Bore off! Like hunters like you will spend your lives so f miserable as you spend your life just trying to p1ss people off. Called mood hoovers or life suckers.
As far as we're aware, she didn't even cheat or anything. Nothing ever became inappropriate between her and the Coworker to our knowledge. I get it probably difficult to process but he's reacting as if she had an affair when a crush is literally just a crush. She is committed to him. But usually you can't help crushes and it should pass relatively soon.
It sounds like you and your new bf aren’t ready for a committed relationship. So let him know you’re dating but not exclusive as neither of you seem ready, he hides girls on his phone and you’re not over your ex. Then do whatever. You may lose them both in the process, but better to be honest than sneak around because if you sneak around then you will truly lose them both.
Your mom has not treated you properly for your entire life. Children should not be the main confidant for a parent. That emotional dependence wasn't healthy for either of you.
Decline the meeting. Move in with your BF and enjoy.
I didn't suggest talking to her about her hair. I just made that comparison to OP, so that he could better understand that he's not going to be able to simply change her preference overnight.
Also it sounds like you have never given him any real consequences for his behavior. If you don’t have the courage to actually leave him like you should, you need to at least give him strong consequences for his behavior.
Consequences aren’t things you tell/ask him to do (like asking him to talk to her less), they are things YOU do and control. I would leave and stay with family if I saw him chatting with her and I would literally ignore hubby until he contacted me telling me what he was going to do to fix the situation (“I want you to come home, I blocked her on discord and informed my friends that I won’t game with them anymore “).
Why would he choose you when you are letting him have both of you. Take yourself away.
Therapy.
Well, scientifically in fact you are wrong. Researchers actually study these things, but again, Reddit knows better than the professional.
Thank you ❤️ I actually have read thay somewhere myself, probably here on reddit to be honest. I am absolutely in a better place now than I was this time last year emotionally, but it comes on strong sometimes still!
Literally the third sentence in your post is that he’s not in the right headspace to date. And no matter what mental gymnastics you do, there’s no grey area in relationships – either you’re in one (even if it’s an open relationship) or you’re not and both parties are free to do whatever they desire because they don’t have anything to lose
And I understand you’re a good person trying to do the right thing, but good luck with that. Unfortunately very soon you’ll learn that there’s no such thing as unrequited love or even niceness, you only give effort to those who value and appreciate it. Imagine if you interview at a place tomorrow and they say they can’t pay you, but you say you’ll come in anyway and do the job for free. Do you think they’ll ever want to lose free labor? Don’t you think you should be working at a place that compensates you for your time and hardwork? That’s exactly what you’re doing by being overly nice to guys like this guy – you’re giving him free labor
You should really be honest with him. Let him know where you stand and why before you move in together.
Does she have a nude time saying “no” to her friends? It is possible this is the case and she's telling you so that you'd a) be the “bad guy” and say no for her, b) she just really, honestly wants to impress her friends or c) she is already thinking of making (or has made) a tinder account. aka, plans to cheat or is already cheating.
Is she on the spectrum? This would make option b the most plausible.
I’m confused, you already have a child, while I get wanting to take things slow and not having casual sex, what’s the point of waiting till marriage? What if he’s terrible in bed or you have no chemistry? I also don’t think it’s appropriate to introduce your child to someone you aren’t seriously dating. As far as your question goes, just wait until you can meet next
I was engaged in college to a very feminine woman with a passive, non-argumentative personality. Best thing that ever happened to me was her cheating on me. Met my now wife of 20 years and she has her feminine side but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t tell me when she thinks I’m wrong or being an asshole. I can’t understand guys that seek out meek, passive women. Give me assertive any day.
Is there some previous friction with your friends and your bf or something? I’m trying to figure out why there’s this nuclear reaction over… truly nothing really. The only people I know who have this much investment in their birthdays are 21 and younger.
Btw, congrats on the engagement! The ring pop is very dorky but adorable.
I guess we just haven't had a situation come up yet in the past few years, where one of us was in urgent need of money.
He needs to vent to male friends and/or a therapist , im not saying you wouldn’t get it but sometimes it’s like that. Sorry
I think to understand what you should do, you need to clarify a few things, and think about how the relationship is going at the moment. Who's taking care of the chores at home (laundry, cooking, cleaning, shoping)? Do you both have chores equally or does one have more to do? who's paying for what and how much? how will you handle it when you have one child, two children or three? Things like that. The person he is now, will be the person he'll be in the future when you're not-married. if he's not helping now, but telling you “of course i'll help when we have kids. I'll take care of them as well.” then don't just believe them in the hopes he'll suddenly change. Also look at the prices for babysitters, cooks, cleaners, personal driver and assistant to get a sense of what a stay at home parent is worth to their family.
I am always a fan of prenups, but i think in this case, your BF is way more interested in keeping what he earns in the years you might be together, than having a fair split of what you gained together.
if he really only worries about what is left should your marriage dissolve, then get a prenup, and keep your finances in mine/yours/our accounts, so that only the ours account (for rent, insurance, and so on) needs to be split.
I just finished school and started working so I’ve been saving. He doesn’t save anything and is usually broke by the end of the week. So I don’t see him making an effort to move out. I feel like its all on me to get us out of his parents home.
And you want to keep dating this guy, let alone marry him? Five years of irresponsible finance decisions and you look at him and say: I would marry him?