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Lina, 18 y.o.
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Date: November 1, 2022
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I am this person. I handle all of the email in my house. Both of my husband's accounts, plus our shared one (for household stuff) and my personal one. Plus, we have it intentionally set up that everyone has my phone number (for all of our accounts, and even most personal relationships on my husband's side). He doesn't even have voicemail set up on his phone.
The difference is, as far as personal relationships, everyone is aware of this, and understand that this is what works best for our family. They also know that they can still text him if there are things they don't want me involved in, and as long as they're fine to wait several days for a response.
Again, I understand the implications of this and that it might not sit great with some of you guys, but it works for us. I'm a SAHM, and my husband is out of the house 10-12 hours a day, 5 days a week, so it's more efficient. Plus, it means everyone knows who to call in an emergency.
Can anyone recommend solutions?
Break-up and find someone that you're more compatible with and is more understanding about your sexual needs.
That’s admirable of you, but you didn’t do anything wrong and owe her no further contact. Especially since there’s a nonzero threat of her stalking your current girlfriend.
There’s no “appropriate time” to move on after a relationship ends because your new relationship is contingent on meeting a person you want to date, and that happens when it happens. This is true even in an amicable breakup, and yours wasn’t. Frankly it’s pretty rich for her to accuse YOU of a lack of commitment considering her solution when she felt like you weren’t spending enough time with her was to threaten to cheat on you. That’s the Platonic Ideal of being less than committed!
Oh Lord PLEASE do it! Just break up, you do NOT need jealous and insecure! Trust your instincts. You need to put yourself FIRST! no one is gonna put you #1 but YOU.
I'm 48, happily married for 23 years. Still wish I had lived on my OWN for a while in my 20s.
Now is the time! All your reasonings are sound!
Do it!
If he's saying it's because of depression maybe bargain with him to go see a psychiatrist and quit doing this.
Why is it so naked for her to pick up the phone and just say “hey”?
If you have to agree not to threaten to call the police, that means one or both of you is abusive. This relationship is toxic.
Why are you planning on moving in with someone who you already feel that you will never please. A 40M being so wrapped in his birthday is a huge red flag. It’s not thoughtful? He would have been disappointed? That’s beyond childish and entitled. Huge red flag. The stress you are feeling is your body telling you not to move in with him. It would be a mistake.
Can you afford rent on top of current expenses? If you had an unforeseen issue like a cracked windshield or a flat tire, can you afford to deal with that plus rent?