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Linne , ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣, y.o.
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Live Live Sex Chat rooms Linne , ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣ ❣
Date: October 21, 2022
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Well, you don't put it bluntly. You do it gently but direct.
You sit him down and go.
Hey, I am really happy we reconnected. This is our third time trying to make this reletionship work. And if I am here, its because I really want it to work with you. I am willing to put in the effort.
But I need to address things that created complications previously. If we can't find understanding on these things holding us back, we simply will not work out. That's just the reality.
I rather be honest with how I feel so we can have a chance for success this time around. This is our last shot at this, and I want to do our best to do it right.
During our time apart, I reflected on aspects that made me feel friction in our reletionship. When my life was more open, I realized how much I missed my friends and how much I actually value them in my day-to-day life.
Now, my friction was because I felt I had to sacrifice parts of my life in order to maintain you. Our connection was beginning to feel like a job instead of a reletionship. I don't want to sacrifice the things that make me happy just so I can ensure you are. So, I found that you were almost too dependent on me.
While I do love and appreciate you. And I want to you to always be happy. I don't want to be forced to give up my things in order to serve you. That is not fair to me.
This time around, I would love for you to develop more of a life for yourself so you don't rely on me always. I want that peace of mind this time.
And it hurts me to be direct about this, but this is a hole in our reletionship that we need to plug. I don't want to feel suffocated anymore.
This creates distance for us…. I want to close our distance and we need to correct this.
Do you think this is something you can work on? I am willing to help you improve these things. Maybe we can go do things together and try to get you to meet people. We can find hobbies for you to work on that I will fully support. What about a sports team?
Please don't take this in an insulting way. I am only saying this because I want our reletionship to work but I this created problems in the past. We cannot repeat our same mistakes.
Something like that.
You don’t have to accept this. Your marriage is an equal partnership with your husband, not her. He’s not respecting you.
Yeah, and he’s going to criticize you again, and again, mimic you again, and hit you again, and apologize again, hit you again, apologize again, and again, and again, and again. This is called abuse. Seriously. What are you waiting for? You need to leave this relationship for your own sake.
She was saying something about how she is in the prime of her life and sometimes she just wants to flirt. But I know better. I know that eventually turns in more. Eventually she will find someone who will hit all the right notes and then I’ll be history. She’s not ready to settle down. But idk I wasn’t really interested in what she had to say anyways.
Wait.. what if he just bought himself sun glasses lol?
Just leave her alone. Deal with your guilt without involving her, it's not her problem to solve for you.
Why are they ridiculous for having standards. It's no different than saying you won't date a poor man who has no ambitions.
Why do you want to stay with a grown ass man who regularly sexually assaults you? Because that's what this is. He sexually assaults you until you give in because he is a child who never learned how to take no for an answer.
I was hoping a professional would comment on this I really don't know if I need therapy but I am willing to talk to someone. We have been through alot as a couple and family and like u said in my head I do use excuses either from are troubled past to how things are now and I don't ever want that I truly do know how I feel about her and when I think I am trying I tend to fuck it up with something so simple at times. I don't know how I have fallen so far from the man I was and who she fell in love with I also miss him and need him back. Thank you for your reply I have never posted before and I appreciate it very much
What’s more a sign is you both breaking up and getting back together. Relationships like that are just slows deaths. Rarely do people fix the problems that break them up, they just ignore them or hide them for awhile and it comes back. So unless you both identified the reason you were having problems before, both agreed that was the problem, both agreed to and specified what in depth and long term personal effort is needed to change those behaviors (promising change or just relying on power won’t cut it) and actually have put in at least a few months of that effort, getting back together is rarely a good idea.
It wired, though. Why did mention that she has blond hair and blue eyes? It sounded as if you mentioned that because you thought those specific qualities would make her more likely to be targeted.
Then, you blaming others possibly leading her down the wrong path, also sounds like you see her as kind of helpless.
You're completely misunderstanding what boundaries are. What happened here is you a rule, and he felt he had to lie and agree.
A boundary would be you saying “I won't tolerate dating a man who watches porn. I'll vmbe enforcing this by giving one warning if it's disrespected, and then breaking up if it's disrespected again.
There's two possible resolutions now
You drop the boundary
You bream up with him
No further comments besides yikes … Is he always like this?
Of course. People on Reddit are helpful more often than not. And brutally honest. Which I prefer when asking for advice.
That’s one thing I’m just stuck on. You don’t just accidentally piss yourself with an erection. The body physically stops that from happening and to make it happen takes quite a lot of effort. It is something deliberate and that’s where I’m bailing out of the trauma response thing. Nah, this may have started that way or something but bro made an effort to sit there and pee on this girl and all over her bed. It’s either fake or dude thought he’d get wild or some dumb shit.
If it was some fun I would not ask
Then you have a couple of options: 1) anytime she tries to discuss this with you, stop her (Girlfriend, as I have said before, I am not going to engage in this discussion with you. Please have this discussion with your therapist) or physically leave her presence; or 2) break up.
The pull-out method rarely works. Only scientifically proven methods work. And even then not always 100% due to occasional chance of failure. But things like the pill, condoms are still worlds better than just pulling out.
If you sincerely fear she will harm herself, call police.
They broke up bc she was no longer attracted to him and couldn’t feel that way about him again despite other things being good.
Hold on right there, I get what you are trying to say but I want to defend myself.
First – It's not about being good at sex, the worries I had at the beginning about the fact that she never had a boyfriend where that it would be nude to communicate or that she maybe has unrealistic expectations about relationships, it was not a dealbreaker for me and the doubt's about that are gone.
Second – The fact that I don't believe her about the depressed thing can be my own problem with trusting people in general, thats right and I have to work on that. It was an emotional reaction to feeling rejected and I know this, but I didn't blame her for that, I told her that I was understanding. I was more worried about the fact that she distanced herself the days after that.
Whoa. Victim blaming is not cool. You don’t know what led to her decisions to be with him initially. She understands the way he treats her is not right, but likely feels trapped.
Got to do the old “let me look at your phone unlocked completely right this second or we are over” and be ready for it to be over, there are posts on here about how to retrieve deleted messages etc
Am I just crazy & insecure? Am I reading into things too much?
Nope, you're not, and this would piss me off. You clearly stated your boundaries and what made you uncomfortable, and he refuses to respect them.
I hate to be that person, but the military has a reputation of affairs and cheating.
I usually don't suggest this, but dump him.
Also, you’re right. After marriage we’re talking about buying a house. Which I want to do for the investment and to stop paying rent. But for some reason it feels like I’ll get stuck and never get out of quick sand.
I need to figure out why this makes me feel stuck. Like I’m walking into a room and I keep walking and it just gets smaller and smaller.
I sometimes feel like I online in a different world. I am a sociable person and I don’t think I have met tons of people in polyamorous relationships.
Thank you ?
Does he have work in the morning? Because that would be a factor, but I think it should be a weighing of pros and cons of the situation rather than an expectation that he would just do it. Like how far the airport is, how tight money is, whether it’s a work trip that would cover the Uber, and maybe how difficult it is to find an uber at that time in your area (easier when near a larger city). Nothing to get too upset over!