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Lisa Fox, 26 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Lisa Fox
Date: November 5, 2022
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Oh ya, for sure, I definitely wasn't saying OP should stay with him. Just saying that technically that time spent is a “sunk cost”. She spent 4 years with someone and ended up in this situation. I wouldn't go as far to say it's time completely wasted because I'm sure there were happy times and good experiences and even some learning but at the end of the day when something like this happens you did spend a certain amount of time with someone that you don't end up with and now have to start over with someone new and build up that relationship. Might not be the best analogy but it's kind of like renting a house. You have a place to live for the time being but you get absolutely no return or nothing out of that money in the end, I was also consider that a “sunk cost”.
Imagine if she found out your collection of random female panties… Yea this is weird as heck
The friend is a piece of shit. There's no debate about that, but that's not what's being discussed in this thread.
OP is trying to consider options that would involve not telling the boyfriend – If OP doesn't tell him FOR ANY REASON (including being concerned about the horrors of foster care), then OP is also a piece of shit.
There's only one acceptable outcome, which is that the boyfriend is informed of what the friend has lied to him about and is given the opportunity for whatever legal recourse is available to him.
And all of that is ignoring the fact that this child will also be born HIV+, which is a terrible thing to pass on to a kid.
You're only 20 so if you've felt for years like you were someone he considered dating, he's a creepy-ass dude. But also, this “relationship” has not been as you imagined. And you're not even in the same state. You need to block him and move on. Date local guys your same age for a few more years.
Do me a favor and ask your friend if not allowing you to get behind the wheel wasted is controlling as well…
YTA.
So, she invited you even though she kinda wanted it to be a her thing. Then you offered for her to be open and say it’s a her thing.
Now you’re upset that it’s a her thing? And yours upset that she’s said it’s a her thing more than once even though you brought it up by talking about it?
No.
Look, not EVERY single feeling everyone has is valid. This is one of those situations. You’re valid to have those feelings within yourself but it’s not okay to make them HER problem.
Intentional or not you’ve been the one to manipulate this situation. You’re the one that keeps bringing it up, you’re the one that gave her and option and took it away and your traumas (while terrible) in this case are not her problem.
She doesn’t have to put down her boundaries to accomodate your traumas. That’s not a thing. Especially not over an artist forum.
My advice is you need to stop, apologise to her and have some self reflection for a little while. A long very hot thing about what is okay to put on your partner and what isn’t.
Actually I believe it, it also depends on who you went to. I went to someone and basically everything she said was spot on. But also I went to someone else whos part of my culture and yes she said similar things.
Thank you to those who responded! We are now officially in a relationship. Phew!! It was a good convo. Very sweet. I think we both truly adore each other & it seems like he might have been afraid.