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Date: November 6, 2022
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This reply has weird vibes. I personally have a similar set up (little to no contact with my siblings, my wife is one of my very few best friends), but I think this is an bizarre worldview that only insecure people could possibly want more than one good friend besides their spouse.
trust the gut
Listen, I've been there and I'm going to give you the advice you don't want to hear and that is to leave him. Mth is literal Hell as a loved one. Get out before you drag kids into this mess. He has to want to get sober and stay sober and he doesn't. And why would he? He gets his drgs, his side pieces and you because he knows you're just giving him threats. And if users can't get clean to save their own kids, what makes you think he's going to get clean and stay clean for you? He needs to do it but he needs to want to do it first and keep fighting those demons every day. It hurts like Hell and I wouldn't want to wish that on anybody. And I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. But please, take it from your online big sister who stood in your shoes for 10 years, you need to leave. You guys can reconnect when he's at least a year into his soberity. But he's going to become your dr*g and you will lose your sanity trying to save him and your relationship.
My roommate is still close with some of them and she understand the misunderstanding and offered to talk to them in the past but I told her not to since it was too soon And my friend ,( who used to know them 4 years ago, says I should try because from what she knows about me I am very ride or die Honestly it feeling like a leap of faith I’m scared but I won’t know if I get a second chance until I say something
She needs to go out alone or with friends to find a man who respects her.
Yeah you did the right thing. In the future don't waste your time on fixer uppers.
I can understand that. But also, neither of them wanted kids originally. So, the reasonings just wouldn't matter. And either way, people don't need to know your decision to not wanting kids.
And I agree. It doesn't even necessarily mean that, just that she may have trouble conceiving. Either way, at the top of her post, she says she doesn't want them.
To be clear wrestle means sex?
Are there efforts he could be making to help with the children stress? Do you feel he's doing enough?
Idk… in my opinion it’s none of your business. If you trust her you trust her. This is only an insecurity you have, love is nothing to do with these type of things. Maybe you can speak about your insecurities with her, but she doesn’t owe you any explanations of what she did or did not in her trip that’s for sure.
Husband aka bellender
Bring it up directly. Double standards suck.
You seriously expected someone to put their life on hold for 12 years? Sorry, that's an unfair expectation to have. Your life might have frozen in its place when you got locked up but hers didn't. It sucks and it hurts, but you can't hold onto an unrealistic expectation like this. It is unfair.
But sleeping in seperate beds/rooms is pretty much your only option. Sleep is primary for good functioning. Yours is constantly interrupted, and your husband doesn't intend to do anything about it. So be practical & sleep in separate rooms.
What is his dad supposed to do about it? Ground his adult son?
You need to deal with your relationship yourself, not drag his dad into it.
If it’s a dealbreaker for you that he showed such poor judgement, then break up. If you want to give him another chance, let him know how disappointed you are and if he does it again, end things.
I dont think you cant enjoy other social events without eachother. Maybe just not dancing with other people cause it sounds like you both feel its too intimate. or maybe you both need to squash those fears and trust eachother to dance with other people?♂️theres not gonna be many social activities apart from dancing that will cause you too feel the way you are feeling i think anyways?
He lied to you three times in the matter of one day. So maybe there was a boundary there, but you trusted your gut and found him to be a liar. What else is he lying about?
You should have dumped her 2 months ago. Next best time is right now.
Has your fiancé not seen you pleasure yourself during sex? It seems she’s making a big deal out of nothing.