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  1. I grew up getting scolded for causing this exact same issue, and I would respond to my parents the same way. I was notorious for clogging every toilet I shit in and I had to unclog it myself every time. I later got diagnosed with OCD, maybe that’s why I HAD to wipe until there was absolutely nothing left.

    It could be that your plumbing or toilet is outdated. We finally replaced the old toilets and we rarely had issues with clogging after that. And Charmin (or any premium brands with thick layers) are a big no-no for clogging offenders. Try switching to a thinner brand like Kirkland Signature and see if that makes a difference.

    My parents always got more and more royally pissed at me each time I continued to clog the toilet, so I understand your frustration. They would threaten to make me pay for the plumbing bill if I broke it. If it’s not your toilet or plumbing, it’s her inability to change her tp habits and that can be grounds to break up.

  2. Is your BF a robot or strongly ND?

    Either he is utterly oblivious of your needs or just doesn't care? Neither option is good for a long term relationship, especially if you are considering having kids.

    If he is oblivious – is he willing to learn and make an effort to step back and consciously examine his assumptions on acceptable behaviour?

    An intimate partner relationship should be two people supporting each other to be the best version of themselves. Traditional wedding vows include “in sickness and in health” – meaning that they will support each other whether their partner is sick (requiring more support) or well (needing less support).

    The fact that you are here needing to ask suggests he has gaslit you about what is a reasonable response to this situation.

    How are you experiencing 'quality time' if you feel sick and are not hungry and just want to lie down? You 'helping' him cook was for his benefit, not yours.

    What else do you do in your relationship that is solely for his benefit? I'm sure it's not just 'sharing' cooking dinner when sick.

  3. Lmao ur hilarious. I cannot imagine my husband saying some shit like this. ?

    He pays for 90% of our things because he earns alot more than i do. And i still work and pick up expenses where we get stuck or lack aswell during the month.

    And we do kind of have a traditional view on our marriage in a sense that i do most of the household chores but again it's because he works later hours than i do and i actually enjoy cooking for him and doing things for him.

    But this you are under him bullshit. ? or he can have me do everything by myself and he sits and sips a beer on the couch while im barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen making him and the boys snacks.

    How is this a marriage? Or a relationship. Finances arent the be all and end all to a relationship. There is respect, love, care, communication and trust.

    Who gives a shit if a dude pays for everything bt can't give an ounce of support to his partner. I know alot of woman that wldnt ever deal with tht bullshit. Traditional or not.

    Id throw a damn pillow at him if he ever comes tells me this nonsense. Imagine raising children with a man who thinks like OPs bf.

  4. I very much agree with this comment. Exploring other romantic possibilities shouldn't come from a place of making someone else happy because the implications and resulting feelings are always hot to adress; let alone if this is not something you actually want.

    I would also note that this difference in preferences for stability vs volatility is something you should further investigate. I've been on both sides of that and fear it might me a real incompatibility in the long run. I would have once never been satisfied with a stable relationship (I left several of them out of boredom). Now, I would never be in anything if I didn't feel safe.

  5. You may want reconsider proposing my dude. There's nothing wrong with either gender crying and it sounds like your girlfriend has ridiculous, and emotionally harmful, expectations. What happens if you lose your parents or another best friend and cry? Will she be there to emotionally support you or will she get upset at you for “not being a real man”? (Whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean).

    Sounds like you need to sit your girlfriend down and have a discussion about why her insistence on promoting detrimental mental health is bad for you, your relationship, and just in general and that if it's a dealbreaker for you, tell her it either has to change or you can'r see a future together.

    I really wish the best for you man, and I'm just glad you didn't just follow what she thinks and bottle up your emotions simply because of the ridiculous and false reasoning that “real men don't cry.”

  6. So not sure what he said previously, but his words to your mom this time are pretty clear – he wanted you out of his space.

    What he should have said was that your relationship is over.

    So rather than wait for him to find his words, pack up your stuff and leave.

  7. Well the thing is by her own account, she's quite happy with what I do. This is why she's so frustrated at not being able to access it.

    I've gone at least 4 years without her lifting a finger to turn me on. And it's not like I waited until the end of year 4 to make it known what I needed.

    So yes, I'm quite focused on needing to be turned on/needing her to be more than a passive recipient.

    I think you asked this earlier but what turns her on?

    I've asked, MANY times, if she has fantasies, what she wants? She always says she has no sexual fantasies at all. She claims that she never even dreams, so I'd think it's at least consistent that she doesn't fantasize about sex. And tbc, I make it clear to her that it doesn't have to be kinky. But just like, sitting at her desk and thinking about what she wants to do later that night. According to her, this doesn't happen. She either can't or won't “previsualize” sex.

    In terms of foreplay, she kinda tries to rush through it. I enjoy foreplay. I like the build up. It was an adjustment getting into this relationship to stop doing it but no, she's not really into it. She's not rude about it, but she's literally said to be anything but sex is a waste of time.

    And even if she were into foreplay, it's severely limited. She doesn't like her breasts played with. She doesn't like her butt played with. She hates the idea of toys. All we can do is kiss and give each other head. I actually love eating out. I can make her cum with my tongue and she says I'm the best she's ever had.

    The funny thing about that is after she cums, she rushes my orgasm. Whether she cums on my tongue or dick, after she cums, she's done and she wants me to finish quickly. I might only be halfway there but she wants me to cum immediately. I'm like damn, don't you want another orgasm? She's usually like “no, I'm satisfied.” So I've learned to pretty much cum on demand.

    Do I enjoy her oral skills? Not at all. It's very boring. It's very quiet. Very slow. She doesn't like being gagged. I usually only let her do it for a few seconds.

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