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Date: October 31, 2022
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I did bumble BFF and found a really awesome book club.
I'd say something, and be 100% transparent about it. Like, show him if he's nervous. It was an easy way to meet a great group of women
Good thinking man, I won't be able to distinguish it then
OP states later that the married man was in an open relationship so there was no “cheating” at all actually.
Sounds like OP is just jealous and bitter. He needs therapy.
Hey if one partner doesn’t want their friends to know they’re dating a person, doesn’t that set an alarm off in your head about how they value you?
Any man that has an issue with pleasing his woman and not making sure she feels comfortable and heard is terrible! Both partners should be concerned with one another. He is very selfish, and it makes me wonder what other areas are you short changed in ? Even if he can’t have penetration right now … he doesn’t go down on you? Or find other ways to please you ? He should be making that thang soppy wet by playing with it, kissing it, and grinding it. As he listens to what you tell him you like he will get you there… but he has to be willing to be patient and take his time. My ex would rush me to orgasm at times it was a total turn off. My current partner is the exact opposite. Though we’re only having oral sex here recently. He did crazy sexy stuff to me to get me off. I equally am learning what he likes to please him. Doesn’t sound like he’s turning you on and your body is not responding to him. Sex starts in the mind. If you’re not present with him, you won’t be aroused. Sex therapy wouldn’t be a bad idea!
NTA, your friends sexuality is of no concern to anyone but him. Your ex-fiancé sounds like a real toxic dude and you dodged a bullet
Take a breath and count to ten . It sounds like she has issues that drive her to be rude and attention seeking . It’s pretty laughable how she acts so rise above and be grateful you don’t have to see her on a daily basis – by engaging with her and getting uptight she is winning so just let it go .
I just want to reiterate the first person’s point. Your mother is absolutely correct. You can blink, and the child will have outgrown all of their clothes.
I am resentful of my sister who lives in a big house and just spend an insane amount of time to work on a handmade gift for me. I already own a blanket! The audacity!
Thanks everyone for your blunt honesty.
Understand this, if you are honest, and it hurts someone, I don’t consider that, “you hurting someone“ I consider that someone getting hurt by the truth. Now, if you lie to someone that is definitely considered, “you hurting someone“ does that make sense? You are both still so young this may not even be the person you are going to end up with. At the end of the day honesty is always the best policy even if she gets hurt for now, she will respect you in the end for being honest, and be hurt less than she would, by being lied to. That’s just my two. Cents.
We don't know if this is a choice.
Living at home may not be by choice, sure.
She is still old enough to figure out how to get to and from work every day on her own without being dependent on other people.
If you really love him, break up with him. The fact you have zero guilt doesn't bode well for the future. Hope you able to mature before your next relationship.
He doesn't owe her sex but she also doesn't owe him a relationship.
Your wife is out of line. You want to hang out with YOUR FAMILY. Having anyone else there changes the dynamic. Your dad is sick, and this bonding time with your parents and siblings really matters to you.
We had a chat a few minutes ago. She's starting to get it.
I think it’s really crummy of your wife to a)be offended that this isn’t a trip for her mom;
She got this finally.
b) lead your mom to invite your MIL – and your wife totally orchestrated that;
She won't admit to it but she likely did lol.
c) further invite an aunt & uncle that I’m presuming she knew you didn’t want there;
I honestly have no idea why she even brought them up. It made zero sense. Yesterday, I specifically said “Please don't bring your family. I just want to spend time with my parents and siblings. I don't even want my own uncle and aunt who go there all the time” (my uncle loves to play the guitar and just stares at people while he sings, it's WEIIIIIRD).
d) being mad when her attempts to circumvent your wishes failed.
She's not mad, she's more offended as to why I don't want to hang out with her mother. She obviously doesn't want anyone not liking her precious mother. I can understand this one. This has been an ongoing thing to be honest. I typically refuse to go to her house and she's like but whyyyy, my mom is such a good person. I can't bring myself to air my grievances because I don't want to talk shit about her mom, but in all honesty, I really don't like hanging out with her. Great person, but love from a distance as I see and interact with her a little too much.
Ask her why she’s afraid to be around your family without her mother in tow. Maybe she feels excluded at your family gatherings and wanted someone to hang out with.
It's not really that. My MIL recently beating cancer has created a soft place in her heart for her mother so I think the idea of me not liking her is something that hurts her. I can understand that but that doesn't mean that I have to accommodate for her all the time of course. She doesn't like it when I set up boundaries. The mother in law also lost her mother recently and the other daughter left the house so she's been super lonely. I got my MIL an Amazon Echo Show so my wife wouldn't drive to her house every single day and now we have her at the dinner table every night on video conference. Sometimes I'll walk into the kitchen and there she is on a call that my wife walked out of and I'll be in my underwear or I'll burp or say something really stupid as a joke and shit, there she is. It's become a little too much. Maybe I need to tell this to my wife more seriously.
The solution might be to go with your kids and without your wife.
That won't work. Zero chance of it happening for a thousand reasons haha.
Yeah there really isn't a way unless his really open. And even then the friend or friends would easily feel their privacy violated. And would it actually remove your concern? Or would you think there's something being hidden from you anyway. What happens if he refuses like many people would? That will drive you crazy. Even if the reason is that there are messages he or the friend clearly wouldn't want anyone to see that had nothing to do with a breach of trust in your relationship.
I’m an old so a lot of my photos are pre digital. My husband didn’t ask me to burn my photos of my time with my ex-husband. They aren’t on display, but I do still have them packed in a box at the back of my closet.
Is this bait? Seems a little too obvious
It’s so odd.
On a slightly different note, I want to go to sleep and I don’t want her to wake up and see this post on here so I’m going to delete my post and go to sleep now. Thank you for the advice and anecdotes, they were both realistic and yet somewhat reassuring. I appreciate it, best wishes to you and your kid(s)!
You never should have started it.
THAT makes sense then!
And it plays in OPs team. Good for her.
Not bad.
But the midwife should tell her/ have told her, WHO called her, what was the intent of the call.
And get name and phone if the officer in charge there.
Point is: he crashed after a call. He might as well have been unattentive and really have had an accident.
Separate point: I dunno about you, but my pictures are archived on a computer and backupped regularly.
I see a nursing home in your future ?
Who does he think he is rating women who are a decade and a half younger than him. Like, why does his opinion count.
I'm not going to age shame, but this looks like classic negging behaviour from an older man. Bringing you down and making you think you're lucky to have him so you don't try to upgrade.
He can get past it by moving on to someone else, who hasnt slept with his brother
Yes on rent he pays just a bit more than now. Then utilities insurance etc. Food, furniture who knows what else. These things like up. And he loses his space. Plenty of things to discuss and plan not rush into. All things I've talked about before moving in with someone ever since the first gf I moved in thought it was enough she paid half the rent. We were both students so stuff like food, water, electric and internet piled on to me was annoying and a source of problems since she didn't feel like she needed to contribute. Also tried to pull the you can't decide how I spend my money card one month when she didn't pay her half of the rent to me after I had paid the full amount leaving me with very little in my account. And nearly every month had to argue about the “little stuff” since she couldn't believe how much those things added up to. Don't know why I stayed with her, but we resolved it by her paying those things every other month instead of transfering me half and the arguments stopped and she spent less on all those things.
Not for me but a lot of people they want things to be at least closer to equal and I get that. Even if it wouldn't cost him that much more he may feel used if his paying for her lifestyle upgrade. Usually when you move in with someone you save money and he knows he won't. Instead she wanted an apartment way out of her range and him to pay it. If she had set the bar lower maybe it would have been easier for him to just jump in.
And I for one hate being rushed into any major decisions.
“We use condoms so we are just super unlucky”
Aaahmmmm… Girl… If he's the only guy you're having sex with, and you have no knowledge of any oopsies….. Then HOW? I can already see the red flags blinking like neon lights.