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Lucy, 19 y.o.
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Date: October 7, 2022
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You are extremely admirable in attempt to understand instead of blindly hate. I respect you tremendously
This can’t be real. Men mostly only give hoodies to their girlfriend. I don’t think any 19 year old has dated 50 people seriously enough to get a man’s sweatshirt. Maybe she bought them? Seems very fishy to me
You should block him and never give him the satisfaction of speaking to you again.
You’re 20, with no romantic experience at all. Please try seeing someone closer to your age and experience and enjoy the fun parts of growing up and dating! This 30 year old man is taking advantage of your naivety, that’s why he was looking for a 20 year old.
Why won't you judge the infidelity? You seemed to have all the smoke for him in his initial post.
You felt a moral obligation to let him be a parent but you don’t feel any moral obligation to the kid who is going to wonder its whole life why its mom never wanted it? Babies cry a lot anyway but it’s probably crying more because it’s been ripped away from the only person it knew for 9 months in utero. I highly suggest you read The Primal Wound. The moral thing to do would have been to abort the baby you didn’t want, but now that its here, you should do right by it.
You don't need either of these people in your life. They will only ever continue to hurt you.
(1) She is pregnant – she has enough stress to deal with. It's selfish and just horrible to not think about the effect on the other person, so autism is not the only thing I'm thinking about. (2) I worked with children on the spectrum (and their parents) for many years in my first career. There is nothing wrong with being autistic, and I fully support neurodiversity, but it's not ableist to want to have a healthy baby. Read “Far From the Tree;” the book deals directly with both recognizing that autistic people deserve treatment and love and respect and a place in our society, and dealing with the reality that having a neurodivergent child is painful and difficult for parents and child alike. To be clear, yes most autistic people do lead full and joyful lives, but many end up institutionalized – which I saw first hand in my last career. I worked with them. It's quite reductive to say that me fearing for the child's health is shitty. What am I missing?
What is wrong with not wanting the child and the parents to go through
“she had a low sex drive”
Dude, no, you are just a lousy fuck!!!
He played himself and lost ? stay strong and don't go back to this child.
Dump him
It’s only a boundary of you hold it. Take the key and change the locks or break up.
Then tell him it’s not your responsibility to mind men. They need to mind themselves and if they don’t you will handle it without him. He needs to stop being so controlling. Then straight up ask him if he trusts you and if he gives you some bs like “I trust you but not other men”, say the first part again for him but slowly this time.
Yeah no.. that sounds fucking insane and like a heavy ass situation to be in I'm sorry.
I definitely agree he needs help but OP shldnt be around to help him get it. Men like this often will quit therapy and lie about it going well to keep the partners around.
I wouldn't trust his word at all. And it's not her responsibility. Her relationship with him had been a Rollercoaster she needs to desperately get off of.
Like with your previous coworker. You can't make someone get help if they don't want to. You can suggest it to them and speak to those close to them. But unless they have done something completely unhinged t the point of getting drs or the court involved. These are adults who can simply choose not to do anything about it. Unfortunately
Honestly the last thing you want to do is be made to feel responsible for someone with mental health issues and have to stay with them for them to get help or be made a crutch so they can seek it. That would be emotionally draining on anyone.
That's not a life for her. She should definitely just tell him he needs help tho but then swiftly get the fuck away from him.