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Date: October 16, 2022
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Yes, he's got an uncle he's very close with who is going to casually bring it up next time they're together.
If she has that child for you, she may grow to resent you.
Much more importantly, she might resent the kid.
Ok first thing first. Take a deep breath. You are going to be okay.
Step 2- Figure out what you want without the barriers. Get some construction paper and sit in the floor, or tape paper to a wall, or break out the pretty markers (you want to spark creative thinking so find a way to do this exercise this way).
In 5 minutes… time it… write where you are now. Keep it short… like writing on post its. “No intimacy” “depressed” “scared”
Put that in the bottom left corner. Now think of or draw a line going straight out to the right. Timer for 5 minutes. If nothing changes what will your life be in 5 years.
Now go above the 5year around and do the same for what is your dream future. DO NOT HOLD BACK. I want rainbows and unicorns and to be a mama of a 4 year old. Write it down. Do not hesitate. Just write.
Ok…you have a deflection point. Now I want you to write out your anchors everything keeping you in your current state. Seriously… if it is “he has nice smelling feet” write that. This is for you. 5 minutes.
Now do the same but rocket ships. What is taking you up. “I am a good age to get pregnant” “I have a supportive mom” “I have a good network of parents”. 5 minutes.
Now here is the harder part…. Look at you anchors… identify the top 3-5. Start to think about how your rocket ships can help you overcome each issue. No money? Can you move, go back to school now, start on live! business, get your hairdresser certification and start working in a salon now so you can make money later?… write those out.
I know this sounds dumb but I do this with high level executive to figure out business plans as a first step. It is so helpful when figuring out anything that has a lot of emotions and weight behind it. Try it. You may actually have a plan at the end of it.
Oh and be as silly as you want here. It gets your mind thinking creatively. The logical detailed planning comes after this work.
Use his phone to send her the uncropped picture.
It will all sort itself out without you saying a word.
I think you’re right. I guess I just wanted some reassurance about the way I am feeling.
Were you dating others during this 7 years at least?