It's a fierce legislative topic, because attaching a murder sentence to unsafe sex basically incentivises people with HIV to never get tested and maintain plausible deniability.
If you don't know you were infected, you also can't be to blame for passing it on, ironically laws meant to crack down on it can make the epidemic worse.
The least hurtful thing possible. Maybe that I think we aren't compatible anymore?
How is making her think you're leaving her because of a change in how you feel about her less hurtful than telling her you're leaving because of outside circumstances that have nothing to do with her?
Oh lord grant me five minutes alone with Alex. Someone needs a good place-putting, and I would pay money to be able to be in this position, had my relationship an “Alex” of its own.
Tell your partner that you will do your best to avoid Alex, period, end of sentence.
But he needs to remember two things:
Alex is either completely uninterested and has no agenda, or he has An Agenda, and fully intends to manipulate the environment to talk to you.
Two, it’s a wedding. You can’t be expected to spend the entire event scanning the room for Alex’s well-planned sneak attack.
“I will do my best to avoid him without causing a scene to do so. Anything that he does that I can’t foresee or prevent, I will do my best to extricate myself while maintaining good manners. If he corners me and I have to squeak out “I have to pee!” to get away from him, I hope that you’re not planning on holding those four words against me.
If what you’re hoping for is that I guarantee you that no words are spoken to me, you’re going to have to manage those expectations yourself. If however, you’re hoping for something more reasonable, I can agree to keep it to a minimum. I will not trip over myself, shove anyone out of the way, or run screaming “lallalalaa” with my hands over my ears like a toddler, just to avoid triggering you.
I am also a human being, and I will be there. I will not promise to humiliate myself.
What I CAN promise is that no matter what he says, I will not give him any positive reinforcement. I will not laugh at his jokes, or commiserate about you in any way. I will shut him down hot if he tries, and that’s the best I can do.
If the only thing you’ll accept is a “guarantee” that not one word will be spoken to a man who may have some fetish for your women, and you think it’ll cause a rift between us if I’m enable you escape his dastardly plans, then I just won’t go.”
Which is obviously unreasonable.
So….see where they takes you.
If your bf is more intent on the letter of the law or the spirit, you’ll know. And so will he. This might be enough for him to realize that you’re a human being with your own voice.
The only reason I could picture him having this response is if he already had suspicions of you and/or this friend. Then this would all make sense as you would have justified his suspicions and now he’s just taking precautions
I’d agree with this actually. If it mattered and shit he would do it, you wouldn’t even need to tell him to
You’re young. To raise a child to full adulthood in this lifetime, it costs an arm, leg and more. So what’s right for you and only you.
Highly dependent on jurisdiction.
It's a fierce legislative topic, because attaching a murder sentence to unsafe sex basically incentivises people with HIV to never get tested and maintain plausible deniability.
If you don't know you were infected, you also can't be to blame for passing it on, ironically laws meant to crack down on it can make the epidemic worse.
The least hurtful thing possible. Maybe that I think we aren't compatible anymore?
How is making her think you're leaving her because of a change in how you feel about her less hurtful than telling her you're leaving because of outside circumstances that have nothing to do with her?
Still no goodnight texts. How important are they, really? He stops texting at night, and you’re pretty sure he’s asleep.
Oh lord grant me five minutes alone with Alex. Someone needs a good place-putting, and I would pay money to be able to be in this position, had my relationship an “Alex” of its own.
Tell your partner that you will do your best to avoid Alex, period, end of sentence.
But he needs to remember two things:
Alex is either completely uninterested and has no agenda, or he has An Agenda, and fully intends to manipulate the environment to talk to you.
Two, it’s a wedding. You can’t be expected to spend the entire event scanning the room for Alex’s well-planned sneak attack.
“I will do my best to avoid him without causing a scene to do so. Anything that he does that I can’t foresee or prevent, I will do my best to extricate myself while maintaining good manners. If he corners me and I have to squeak out “I have to pee!” to get away from him, I hope that you’re not planning on holding those four words against me.
If what you’re hoping for is that I guarantee you that no words are spoken to me, you’re going to have to manage those expectations yourself. If however, you’re hoping for something more reasonable, I can agree to keep it to a minimum. I will not trip over myself, shove anyone out of the way, or run screaming “lallalalaa” with my hands over my ears like a toddler, just to avoid triggering you.
I am also a human being, and I will be there. I will not promise to humiliate myself.
What I CAN promise is that no matter what he says, I will not give him any positive reinforcement. I will not laugh at his jokes, or commiserate about you in any way. I will shut him down hot if he tries, and that’s the best I can do.
If the only thing you’ll accept is a “guarantee” that not one word will be spoken to a man who may have some fetish for your women, and you think it’ll cause a rift between us if I’m enable you escape his dastardly plans, then I just won’t go.”
Which is obviously unreasonable.
So….see where they takes you.
If your bf is more intent on the letter of the law or the spirit, you’ll know. And so will he. This might be enough for him to realize that you’re a human being with your own voice.
The only reason I could picture him having this response is if he already had suspicions of you and/or this friend. Then this would all make sense as you would have justified his suspicions and now he’s just taking precautions
His bigoted beliefs likely go beyond trans issues. Have you talked about what a “woman's place” is yet?