So, let's start with the jerking off. He's allowed to masturbate. That's a private activity, and it's not an activity you're allowed to have any say in, and you should not expect to have any knowledge of how/when/where/how often he jerks off. Don't check the lube level, don't search through the trash can for crusty tissues, and don't ask him about it. Period. If he lied about it, it's because it's none of your business, and guys generally do not discuss their masturbation habits with their girlfriends. They just don't. And they often know how unreasonably insecure girlfriends can get about this topic–this subreddit is filled with examples.
Still talking to girls he had crushes on is potentially problematic, depending on the nature of those communications. People are sometimes friends with people that they are or were attracted to or people they previously hooked up with. That happens, and it's perfectly reasonable, as long as he's not CONTINUING to hook up with them and he's not pursuing them romantically or sexually in some way, or having an emotional affair of some sort. You don't indicate that any of that is happening, though, simply that he still talks to them. You say that he hid this fact from you–do you mean he lied about it? Or do you mean he simply never told you about it? Those are different things. And although I'm not a fan of lying in a relationship, he may have kept this info from you because he knew he wasn't doing anything wrong by staying friends with them but he also knew it would make you insecure so he didn't tell you about it.
Lying about how many people he'd been with. Hmm. Tough one. How many people did he originally tell you he'd been with, and how many people is it actually? And really, does it matter, as long as he's being an attentive, caring, faithful boyfriend now? His sexual past is just that, the past. YOU are his present. He wakes up every day and chooses to stay in a monogamous relationship with YOU, not with the women he's hooked up with in the past.
if you feel like.. idk, not that bothered? or that your natural instinct is to ignore it as you suggested in a reply to someone else, perhaps you could explore an open relationship, or re-visit your boundaries? monogamy isn’t for everyone. (that doesn’t excuse cheating, don’t come for me yall)
it’s just a different perspective. i would say it’s fair to take the money if you choose divorce ha.
SAME SAME
So, let's start with the jerking off. He's allowed to masturbate. That's a private activity, and it's not an activity you're allowed to have any say in, and you should not expect to have any knowledge of how/when/where/how often he jerks off. Don't check the lube level, don't search through the trash can for crusty tissues, and don't ask him about it. Period. If he lied about it, it's because it's none of your business, and guys generally do not discuss their masturbation habits with their girlfriends. They just don't. And they often know how unreasonably insecure girlfriends can get about this topic–this subreddit is filled with examples.
Still talking to girls he had crushes on is potentially problematic, depending on the nature of those communications. People are sometimes friends with people that they are or were attracted to or people they previously hooked up with. That happens, and it's perfectly reasonable, as long as he's not CONTINUING to hook up with them and he's not pursuing them romantically or sexually in some way, or having an emotional affair of some sort. You don't indicate that any of that is happening, though, simply that he still talks to them. You say that he hid this fact from you–do you mean he lied about it? Or do you mean he simply never told you about it? Those are different things. And although I'm not a fan of lying in a relationship, he may have kept this info from you because he knew he wasn't doing anything wrong by staying friends with them but he also knew it would make you insecure so he didn't tell you about it.
Lying about how many people he'd been with. Hmm. Tough one. How many people did he originally tell you he'd been with, and how many people is it actually? And really, does it matter, as long as he's being an attentive, caring, faithful boyfriend now? His sexual past is just that, the past. YOU are his present. He wakes up every day and chooses to stay in a monogamous relationship with YOU, not with the women he's hooked up with in the past.
if you feel like.. idk, not that bothered? or that your natural instinct is to ignore it as you suggested in a reply to someone else, perhaps you could explore an open relationship, or re-visit your boundaries? monogamy isn’t for everyone. (that doesn’t excuse cheating, don’t come for me yall)
it’s just a different perspective. i would say it’s fair to take the money if you choose divorce ha.
Uh why are you putting your dick in that? That’s nasty.
How long have you been dating this 43 year old for?
Oh god yes, I can relate to the stereotypes.
May I ask what made you stick around and not leave her?