I have tried talking to other people about this. The result being just facts being reminded to me : you can't make people who dont value you do so, and I am the only one trying (or too nude) I can't seek couple therapy because he don't want to talk to me anymore and is fully ignoring me as if I don't exist
Why are you putting up with this? She sounds awful! Lazy, rude, abusive and a racist to boot. This woman is not marriage material, nor does she sound like she is capable of successfully raising your child. Her disgusting behavior will ABSOLUTELY influence your child, in nothing but negative ways. Time to consult with an attorney to figure out the best way to remove her from your life and get full custody of your daughter.
Stop worrying about what she will do if you leave her – she’s a grown woman and it’s her responsibility to get therapy to deal with her issues. Your responsibility is to your daughter, and her mother is unfortunately nothing more than a dreadfully toxic influence and terrible example.
Wearing her daughter's boyfriend's shirts is weird as hell but you need to look into the whole 'leaving them at your house' thing. Because maybe it's less worse than we all think and those shirts have genuinely been left there for a long time and she might have decided she might as well ''steal'' them and start using them since no one bothered to take them back
I think you helped her as much as you could. Set your boundaries. “I cant talk about your problems with your friends any more because its affecting my health. Please find someone else to talk to aboutt this”
So you had a fight with her; she left the house; she took her dog; and her friend let her stay but not the dog. She chose to give the dog to her ex, who I presume is also acquainted with the dog. He is probably her only choice. Why would she run back to you to drop off her dog after a horrible fight?
It's understandable and not toxic that you're upset. But if a couple has an argument and one partner runs out of the house, that's not good unless the other partner kicked them out. But it's my personal opinion.
“So I really feel for the guy in this case. If this household is as bad as OP makes it out to be, they need to hire someone to help clean or something.”
Me too. All of this.
Also: she states she only has MIL occasionally. No help.
On the other hand she states: she has got childcare on several days.
Then why is the household such a mess?
Then she states, she has nerve damage in her lower back.
But pretends to be able to work as travelling nurse. And is totally unsympathetic with her man with a slipped disc?
She would KNOW that kind of pain then. And not even have asked him ONCE to keep the children.
You’re either lying or the baby isn’t yours. Timeline doesn’t add up
I have tried talking to other people about this. The result being just facts being reminded to me : you can't make people who dont value you do so, and I am the only one trying (or too nude) I can't seek couple therapy because he don't want to talk to me anymore and is fully ignoring me as if I don't exist
Why are you putting up with this? She sounds awful! Lazy, rude, abusive and a racist to boot. This woman is not marriage material, nor does she sound like she is capable of successfully raising your child. Her disgusting behavior will ABSOLUTELY influence your child, in nothing but negative ways. Time to consult with an attorney to figure out the best way to remove her from your life and get full custody of your daughter.
Stop worrying about what she will do if you leave her – she’s a grown woman and it’s her responsibility to get therapy to deal with her issues. Your responsibility is to your daughter, and her mother is unfortunately nothing more than a dreadfully toxic influence and terrible example.
Wearing her daughter's boyfriend's shirts is weird as hell but you need to look into the whole 'leaving them at your house' thing. Because maybe it's less worse than we all think and those shirts have genuinely been left there for a long time and she might have decided she might as well ''steal'' them and start using them since no one bothered to take them back
I think you helped her as much as you could. Set your boundaries. “I cant talk about your problems with your friends any more because its affecting my health. Please find someone else to talk to aboutt this”
So you had a fight with her; she left the house; she took her dog; and her friend let her stay but not the dog. She chose to give the dog to her ex, who I presume is also acquainted with the dog. He is probably her only choice. Why would she run back to you to drop off her dog after a horrible fight?
It's understandable and not toxic that you're upset. But if a couple has an argument and one partner runs out of the house, that's not good unless the other partner kicked them out. But it's my personal opinion.
would of left him the first time he cheated.
Why the hell are they or there associates invited in the first place
That depends on the people. Me ex hated my mom because my mom would try to help and it pissed my my ex off.
“So I really feel for the guy in this case. If this household is as bad as OP makes it out to be, they need to hire someone to help clean or something.”
Me too. All of this.
Also: she states she only has MIL occasionally. No help.
On the other hand she states: she has got childcare on several days.
Then why is the household such a mess?
Then she states, she has nerve damage in her lower back.
But pretends to be able to work as travelling nurse. And is totally unsympathetic with her man with a slipped disc?
She would KNOW that kind of pain then. And not even have asked him ONCE to keep the children.
Huh? It's full of contradictions.