I know several former alcoholics. One of them behaves like this and hasn't stopped. The rest understand that just because they had a problem doesn't mean everyone else has the same problem.
He's projecting his issues with alcohol on to you. Is he still attending meetings? Ask him to bring this up and talk about it with the group.
You may want to see if there is a spouse/family support group for AA or SMART recovery nearby that you could attend to see what other people have done in similar situations.
100% to this, we almost always feel inadequate. It is true we are probably fine but culture, social media, TV and random stuff from everywhere especially pornography constantly says if your not “x” inches, you're nothing. You can't do the cool positions, she won't be satisfied without a real man etc
I constantly had these feeling for years even with my wife despite being able to consistently bruse her cervix and he'll I still struggle internally. I think it is more important is to make sure he feel appreciate and hope he can work on himself to accept it ?
Good luck u/OP I think you can work through it with time and care.
I feel so conflicted about this. My husband and I give each other a lot of room for self time. In that way, I think you absolutely deserve a break away from everything. On the other hand, if my partner wanted to spend 2.5 days away once a month where he went totally out of touch, I don’t think that would be a relationship that would work for me. If you both work week days you’re spending 1/4 of your weekends, when most couples get their quality time together, away from your partner.
I don’t think either you or your partner is wrong, but I don’t think you are a good match.
And personally I think it’s irrelevant that he accepted this when you started dating. I think we all do various things in the beginning of relationships that we think we should be able to keep doing when it becomes long term, but once we become long term we all have to start compromising about some things. My husband played video games in most of his free time when we were starting to date, but as we became more serious he started prioritizing me over that. I wouldn’t have stayed with him if he hadn’t. And I wouldn’t have hated him if his video gaming took precedence over me and we broke up because of it.
It's OK, you trusted a person and they spat on your trust. Focus on yourself and your exams. I know of these situations where one is abroad and are frequently complex, specially when it's not your country. Once your exams are over, check with an attorney to see what your best options are (including just leaving and start the divorce process while overseas). Most importantly avoid any PIV sex or sex at all, due to STDs and potentially him baby trapping you.
Because he could choose to get partial custody or visitation – and do you think OP, as his wife, would be uninvolved if that happened?
I know several former alcoholics. One of them behaves like this and hasn't stopped. The rest understand that just because they had a problem doesn't mean everyone else has the same problem.
He's projecting his issues with alcohol on to you. Is he still attending meetings? Ask him to bring this up and talk about it with the group.
You may want to see if there is a spouse/family support group for AA or SMART recovery nearby that you could attend to see what other people have done in similar situations.
100% to this, we almost always feel inadequate. It is true we are probably fine but culture, social media, TV and random stuff from everywhere especially pornography constantly says if your not “x” inches, you're nothing. You can't do the cool positions, she won't be satisfied without a real man etc
I constantly had these feeling for years even with my wife despite being able to consistently bruse her cervix and he'll I still struggle internally. I think it is more important is to make sure he feel appreciate and hope he can work on himself to accept it ?
Good luck u/OP I think you can work through it with time and care.
I feel so conflicted about this. My husband and I give each other a lot of room for self time. In that way, I think you absolutely deserve a break away from everything. On the other hand, if my partner wanted to spend 2.5 days away once a month where he went totally out of touch, I don’t think that would be a relationship that would work for me. If you both work week days you’re spending 1/4 of your weekends, when most couples get their quality time together, away from your partner.
I don’t think either you or your partner is wrong, but I don’t think you are a good match.
And personally I think it’s irrelevant that he accepted this when you started dating. I think we all do various things in the beginning of relationships that we think we should be able to keep doing when it becomes long term, but once we become long term we all have to start compromising about some things. My husband played video games in most of his free time when we were starting to date, but as we became more serious he started prioritizing me over that. I wouldn’t have stayed with him if he hadn’t. And I wouldn’t have hated him if his video gaming took precedence over me and we broke up because of it.
It's OK, you trusted a person and they spat on your trust. Focus on yourself and your exams. I know of these situations where one is abroad and are frequently complex, specially when it's not your country. Once your exams are over, check with an attorney to see what your best options are (including just leaving and start the divorce process while overseas). Most importantly avoid any PIV sex or sex at all, due to STDs and potentially him baby trapping you.