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  1. The dead bedroom was “caused” by wifes mental breakdown and constant pain forcing her to Be heavily medicated most of The Time,and her failing to communicate just how much pain did being intimate caused her for several days after it.(I learned this only after few years ago.) Physical problems becan affecting her mental health even More to Wich she refused to seek help. I made The problem way worse being at work a lot of The evenings and she started to feel alone with her problems,and majority of The chores around The House fell for her. No defence for me I am quilty to pretty much the usual reasons a dead bedroom happens, but I am not alone to “blame”. Anyway, looking at The dead bedroom as a Time one person refused to have sex with another is quite oversimplified way to Look at it…she did not just decide to withold sex,her libido was driven to The ground by problems on both of our ends. Wich caused her to just not want intimacy on that level.

    I have always used porn,and we used to watch it together also, but The lack of intimacy and her growing insecurities made me use porn alone and behind her Back,Wich led to addiction-behavior. I am sure there is another way to see how it went down,but this is my view and how I began dealing with The problem when I started seeing The terapist that actually started to work for me.

  2. This is frequently a problem for new parents.

    One idea is to get a plastic clothes hamper or basket and cut out one side. Put the basket on a small table on your side of the bed so the basket floor height is at the same level as the bed. If the basket isn't entirely stable there, use big safety pins and cable ties to easily attach the basket to your mattress.

    Put blankets or old sheets that you both have slept on for a few days in the basket so they'll have your scent and teach the dogs to sleep there. They will have their space and be close to you and your boyfriend can sleep. If the dogs try to move close to you for body heat, get a nude water bottle to put in the basket with them or an inexpensive electric heating pad to put UNDER the basket.

    Later, if the dogs are well behaved and your BF agrees, you can move the basket to his side of the bed so he can get used to them. He may adapt just like the dogs. Also, if your relationship develops and someday you have kids you will already have worked at problem solving. Think of it as practice for your future life together.

    Good luck!

  3. Cheating is shitty. Enabling infidelity is shitty. Not that I actually think this needs to be explained, I think you’re being intentionally obtuse, especially considering you came to an advice sub and seem “shocked” that you’ve made yourself the villain to your audience by plainly laying out your indignantly selfish, impulsive, and garbage actions.

    Regardless, the consensus, so far, seems to be that you’ve made a series of bad and terrible decisions, in that order. You’ve mentioned in another comment that her bf is an abusive addict. With the selfish decisions you’ve made, you’ve put yourself AND your cheating friend in danger from abusive bf, and you don’t even seem to care about that bc you’re getting your dick wet. You’ve come across as an absolute jackass in this post and in the replies. Maybe you’re not actually as bad as you appear here, but, if this post is real, I hope the reaction you’ve received from objective strangers on the internet will convince you to take a look at yourself and your choices and rethink everything you’ve done here so we don’t have to share a planet with someone who makes such stupid decisions.

  4. She's been this way for probably his whole life and he thinks it's normal. Even if she was deteriorating mentally he would put a stop to it instead of doing nothing.

  5. Generally speaking, it is never in a man's best interest to be in an open relationship because of this very reason. Sexes aside, open relationships brew resentment and jealousy, hence why for most people they result in a breakup.

  6. Has to be right? If my previously loyal partner came home disheveled and upset saying he’s sorry he got to drunk and this woman wouldn’t get off of him. ID AT LEAST LISTEN AND BE CONCERNED.

    Obviously there’s not a way to concrete prove it isn’t an excuse. But! If he never does anything like that again and goes to therapy, then okay. If he uses the same line again. THEN I’d think cheating. Like wtf is wrong with this lady!!

  7. You find a way to move out, or do other things and only go home to sleep, go to the gym, go see friends, agree with your ex not to bring new people home, and then ignore each other for the next 4 months, or move back with your parents if you have that option.

  8. I was married to someone like this. Now my kids have to alternate who they spend Christmas with every year.

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