You say he was there for more than 5 hours and left at 6am, does that mean he came over after midnight? I would say a good way to avoid this situation in future is not to invite someone over to your place on the first date and certainly not after 10pm. Intentional or not, you're sending the signal that you're willing to engage with something casual. Meet someone in public if you're looking to date for real, that's safer anyway. Good luck!
My mother made it clear, that she would NOT be keeping our children for more 2 hours visits and not every day, we still love her and our kids love her grandma.
It is very inconsiderate of her to ask for this as routine, specially knowing that it took 15 years longer to get her brother set up in life. Do as many do and show her this post.
My husband flipped. He demanded I go and it wasn’t up for debate. In the end we all went because I didn’t want the guilt trip and to have him hold it over me
well that is very bad. He endangered you and your daughters health by being a manipulative asshole.
You might need couples therapy to decide whether you want to stay with someone who treats you this way. Good luck!
If you’re going to stay with him, stop internalizing his preference. His preoccupation with vulvas is weird. That doesn’t mean you need to cover up if that isn’t your preference. I would also stop bringing it up if I had no plans to leave. I don’t bring up my weight to my husband. He either accepts it or doesn’t.
You have zero self respect by tolerating any of this. Your friends and family are right. You’re going to ruin your life because of a loser, that’s so sad.
Usually I would say starting a relationship on a lie is the end of a relationship but not necessarily in this case, here are my 2 cents.
Regarding the body count lie, I think it was unnecessary to lie about this, do you want to be with someone that judges you based on that? However I don't think its deal breaking bad, since he has no right to demand an answer to this, as long as you are not hiding a STD or something stupid like that. ( I know many people disagree here, apparently is very important women don't have many partners these days) First I'm sorry you had to go through this and glad to hear you are resolving it with a professional, but choosing not to tell him about being raped is 100% up to you. regarding the apartment, just rip the band-aid off. No need to be ashamed, these are tough times and reasonable people see that.
Well, he isn't normal. I'm an introvert. I'd rather be on a computer game than having a frank discussion about my feelings. I've never ghosted someone. I've never blocked or ignored a text or a call from someone I know.
If my annoying sister calls to tell me how I should on-line my life, I give her enough time to get it out, thank her for the call (I know, I shouldn't lie), and tell her I need to go (but not that it's for my sanity).
I when I was having an argument with my wife over the phone from another state, I didn't go to bed before we had it straightened out.
If your bf blocked you (100%, you can see the block), then that is an offer to end things. You counter block, let a loved one of his know that he blocked you, you blocked back and the two of you are done. Ask that person to let him know at an appropriate time. Then, look for a better bf. He sounds like he us in the bottom 1/3, so plenty of room for improvement.
The key to relationships is communication. Communicate to him how it makes you feel. If he agrees that it’s weird and says he’ll stop or at least try, he’s a good dude.
If he says you’re paranoid or whatever and blows you off, not a great guy.
Nanny for a Korean family… I'm shivering just thinking about it. Your friend must have been “corrected” regarding how they dealt with the child/ren 1000 times a day.
I actually really admire how much the average Korean gets done in a day. I think life in the US is a bit too navel gaze-ey, and, therefore, a lot of people here are a little too idealistic about things and have a tendency to lack mental and physical resilience (I absolutely include myself in this statement.) My boyfriend is a machine (though very warm, emotionally), and has really made me realize that sometimes you just have to suck it up.
That being said, I do believe South Korea is too far in the direction of emphasizing duty over self. There's also a lot of that “if you're not the best, you're trash” thinking that makes even successful people miserable with self-doubt and comparison.
K-dramas absolutely do not depict the reality of living there. Daily life there has a crushing, grinding pressure that is applied by nearly everyone that you encounter: “why don't you lose weight?” “Why don't you gain weight?” “Why don't you stay for 6 hours of overtime?” “Why is your work so substandard?” “Oh you live! in (whatever district) don't you want to live in a better area?” And on and on and on. You see a lot of people post about their struggles with life in that country after they were initially crazy excited to move. It's intense enough having a culturally and ethnically Korean significant other, I can just imagine what it would be like if all of his countrymen were even 10% as intense as him (and I know functionally all of them are at least that intense.)
The OPs SO is definitely not thinking this through.
Read this post to yourself out loud. And really listen to what you’re reading. I’ve been in a toxic ass relationship before I understand. From experience please read this shit out loud to yourself. Because this is not it. It won’t get better. No matter what he promises you will forever hold that over his head even if you never speak about it again. That shit will destroy y’all. Mostly you. Because you will never be able to fully trust what he says. Not trying to sound dramatic here but I’ve been through it and it ain’t worth your mental health. All this effort you put towards him put that shit towards you and get yourself to a better place. I wish you the best.
I've taken my wife to on-line in Honolulu, Bangkok, San Diego, Boston, and Beijing, and we've visited countless other places, but she had to sacrifice her career and just take whatever work she could on the margins. E.g. she managed real estate Honolulu, was a medical clerk in Boston, issued visas at the Embassy in Beijing. We are now elderly but have iron clad financial and medical security, and each other. I know and appreciate her sacrifice and am dedicating our retirement to her.
Judging by the offsetting up and down votes, this model of total and committed marriage led by the husband externally and the wife domestically bothers a lot of people.
He did exactly what he wanted to do with who he wanted to without any regards to your feelings and this relationship. All those things could have been handled by mail. If he needed closure from his previous relationship then he shouldn’t have gotten into another relationship if that door wasn’t closed. You got used for a rebound. You are letting yourself get used. Closure for the guy is a hook up to see if a spark or sexual chemistry is there. Of course you would be uncomfortable with that so that’s why he didn’t mention it until after the fact. He’s too for someone to fall for these games. You are better off dumping him.
Damn, you sound childish as hell. Move on
You say he was there for more than 5 hours and left at 6am, does that mean he came over after midnight? I would say a good way to avoid this situation in future is not to invite someone over to your place on the first date and certainly not after 10pm. Intentional or not, you're sending the signal that you're willing to engage with something casual. Meet someone in public if you're looking to date for real, that's safer anyway. Good luck!
My mother made it clear, that she would NOT be keeping our children for more 2 hours visits and not every day, we still love her and our kids love her grandma.
It is very inconsiderate of her to ask for this as routine, specially knowing that it took 15 years longer to get her brother set up in life. Do as many do and show her this post.
This method sounds painful. Any good guy will abandon you before you have a chance to really know them.
I dont say to jump in bed after 2 martinis but if you feel yourself good with somebody why restrict it on purpose?
My husband flipped. He demanded I go and it wasn’t up for debate. In the end we all went because I didn’t want the guilt trip and to have him hold it over me
well that is very bad. He endangered you and your daughters health by being a manipulative asshole.
You might need couples therapy to decide whether you want to stay with someone who treats you this way. Good luck!
It was literally randomly said. We weren’t having a conversation or anything. Sorry there isn’t much context, but it is what it is. ?♀️
If you’re going to stay with him, stop internalizing his preference. His preoccupation with vulvas is weird. That doesn’t mean you need to cover up if that isn’t your preference. I would also stop bringing it up if I had no plans to leave. I don’t bring up my weight to my husband. He either accepts it or doesn’t.
You have zero self respect by tolerating any of this. Your friends and family are right. You’re going to ruin your life because of a loser, that’s so sad.
Usually I would say starting a relationship on a lie is the end of a relationship but not necessarily in this case, here are my 2 cents.
Regarding the body count lie, I think it was unnecessary to lie about this, do you want to be with someone that judges you based on that? However I don't think its deal breaking bad, since he has no right to demand an answer to this, as long as you are not hiding a STD or something stupid like that. ( I know many people disagree here, apparently is very important women don't have many partners these days) First I'm sorry you had to go through this and glad to hear you are resolving it with a professional, but choosing not to tell him about being raped is 100% up to you. regarding the apartment, just rip the band-aid off. No need to be ashamed, these are tough times and reasonable people see that.
A lot of the time people use anger to justify that some accusations are real. (Reddit id particularly bad for it).
So assuming its real based on no anger is now just another way of doing the above. Guy cant win.
Well, he isn't normal. I'm an introvert. I'd rather be on a computer game than having a frank discussion about my feelings. I've never ghosted someone. I've never blocked or ignored a text or a call from someone I know.
If my annoying sister calls to tell me how I should on-line my life, I give her enough time to get it out, thank her for the call (I know, I shouldn't lie), and tell her I need to go (but not that it's for my sanity).
I when I was having an argument with my wife over the phone from another state, I didn't go to bed before we had it straightened out.
If your bf blocked you (100%, you can see the block), then that is an offer to end things. You counter block, let a loved one of his know that he blocked you, you blocked back and the two of you are done. Ask that person to let him know at an appropriate time. Then, look for a better bf. He sounds like he us in the bottom 1/3, so plenty of room for improvement.
I’d say it’s weird.
The key to relationships is communication. Communicate to him how it makes you feel. If he agrees that it’s weird and says he’ll stop or at least try, he’s a good dude.
If he says you’re paranoid or whatever and blows you off, not a great guy.
Don’t tell reddit. Tell him. Best of luck
Nanny for a Korean family… I'm shivering just thinking about it. Your friend must have been “corrected” regarding how they dealt with the child/ren 1000 times a day.
I actually really admire how much the average Korean gets done in a day. I think life in the US is a bit too navel gaze-ey, and, therefore, a lot of people here are a little too idealistic about things and have a tendency to lack mental and physical resilience (I absolutely include myself in this statement.) My boyfriend is a machine (though very warm, emotionally), and has really made me realize that sometimes you just have to suck it up.
That being said, I do believe South Korea is too far in the direction of emphasizing duty over self. There's also a lot of that “if you're not the best, you're trash” thinking that makes even successful people miserable with self-doubt and comparison.
K-dramas absolutely do not depict the reality of living there. Daily life there has a crushing, grinding pressure that is applied by nearly everyone that you encounter: “why don't you lose weight?” “Why don't you gain weight?” “Why don't you stay for 6 hours of overtime?” “Why is your work so substandard?” “Oh you live! in (whatever district) don't you want to live in a better area?” And on and on and on. You see a lot of people post about their struggles with life in that country after they were initially crazy excited to move. It's intense enough having a culturally and ethnically Korean significant other, I can just imagine what it would be like if all of his countrymen were even 10% as intense as him (and I know functionally all of them are at least that intense.)
The OPs SO is definitely not thinking this through.
Tinder lol
Please tell us you broke up. And if he asked why I’d be super petty and say you told your friends he had bigger parts as well and it wasn’t true. Ha.
Read this post to yourself out loud. And really listen to what you’re reading. I’ve been in a toxic ass relationship before I understand. From experience please read this shit out loud to yourself. Because this is not it. It won’t get better. No matter what he promises you will forever hold that over his head even if you never speak about it again. That shit will destroy y’all. Mostly you. Because you will never be able to fully trust what he says. Not trying to sound dramatic here but I’ve been through it and it ain’t worth your mental health. All this effort you put towards him put that shit towards you and get yourself to a better place. I wish you the best.
I've taken my wife to on-line in Honolulu, Bangkok, San Diego, Boston, and Beijing, and we've visited countless other places, but she had to sacrifice her career and just take whatever work she could on the margins. E.g. she managed real estate Honolulu, was a medical clerk in Boston, issued visas at the Embassy in Beijing. We are now elderly but have iron clad financial and medical security, and each other. I know and appreciate her sacrifice and am dedicating our retirement to her.
Judging by the offsetting up and down votes, this model of total and committed marriage led by the husband externally and the wife domestically bothers a lot of people.
I personally would love to hear my partner say that they need more intimacy to get off.
He did exactly what he wanted to do with who he wanted to without any regards to your feelings and this relationship. All those things could have been handled by mail. If he needed closure from his previous relationship then he shouldn’t have gotten into another relationship if that door wasn’t closed. You got used for a rebound. You are letting yourself get used. Closure for the guy is a hook up to see if a spark or sexual chemistry is there. Of course you would be uncomfortable with that so that’s why he didn’t mention it until after the fact. He’s too for someone to fall for these games. You are better off dumping him.