So you have a lot of assault in your history. I am sorry you had to go through that. In that way it makes sense to me that 'consent' and etc is such a pressing issue.
A lot of phobias are fear responses that have a basis in rationality but are too generalised. Like being bitten by one dog makes you fear all dogs. To face a phobia you have to condition yourself to slowly understand reasonable boundaries, what situations are and aren't worth being anxious in and etc.
In your case I worry your trauma makes you generalise too much. Sexual assault is bad, the removal of agency is bad. But daydreaming and masturbating to that image? Like it is very difficult to make the claim that is 'doing' something to them in any way that is negative. The man on the bus masturbating to you wasn't bad because he thought of you while jerking off, it was bad because he did it in public, and it was towards you in a context that actually impacted you [being forced to watch]. Of course that is different to just thinking of someone while you masturbate.
I would just tell him that it's not him and that you've realized that you wouldn't want to be with someone whose job can be dangerous like a cop's can be.
Tell her what you said here. You enjoy spending time with her, but you also need a bit of time to have some freedom for your own hobbies. Also you tell her that you would eventually love to meet her family but you're not ready at this time.
If she is emotionally unable to handle this, then you have a whole different set of problems. Caving to her because she cries about this wouldn't be healthy for your relationship going forward. You're going to need to start creating boundaries before all the lines are blurred.
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It's not kinda creepy, it's disgusting.
He's treating women he knows as objects. And worse, he's photographing women's bodies without their consent, I assume to jack off to?
Your boyfriend is coming dangerously close to being a predator.
Forreal, I wonder how all those men would feel knowing all of their pregnant SOs were out having that kind of party
You have all you need to know. Move back to florida and leave cheating spouse in Utah. I’m so sorry.
We know math and that’s enough to come to some damning conclusions about this guy.
UpdateMe!
You’ve known her since she was 4. You’re gross.
So you have a lot of assault in your history. I am sorry you had to go through that. In that way it makes sense to me that 'consent' and etc is such a pressing issue.
A lot of phobias are fear responses that have a basis in rationality but are too generalised. Like being bitten by one dog makes you fear all dogs. To face a phobia you have to condition yourself to slowly understand reasonable boundaries, what situations are and aren't worth being anxious in and etc.
In your case I worry your trauma makes you generalise too much. Sexual assault is bad, the removal of agency is bad. But daydreaming and masturbating to that image? Like it is very difficult to make the claim that is 'doing' something to them in any way that is negative. The man on the bus masturbating to you wasn't bad because he thought of you while jerking off, it was bad because he did it in public, and it was towards you in a context that actually impacted you [being forced to watch]. Of course that is different to just thinking of someone while you masturbate.
Don't tell him even in desperation.
I would just tell him that it's not him and that you've realized that you wouldn't want to be with someone whose job can be dangerous like a cop's can be.
Tell her what you said here. You enjoy spending time with her, but you also need a bit of time to have some freedom for your own hobbies. Also you tell her that you would eventually love to meet her family but you're not ready at this time.
If she is emotionally unable to handle this, then you have a whole different set of problems. Caving to her because she cries about this wouldn't be healthy for your relationship going forward. You're going to need to start creating boundaries before all the lines are blurred.
I promise I won't let it get that bad. I start keto tomorrow. For me, not for her.
You should’ve ended it back then. Who talks to their ex WHILE in a relationship.
Just drop him