Just bc you got some destructive criticism doesn’t mean you have to lag out back at them. You could’ve been the bigger person and accepted it. Now you lose a friend and he must’ve lost friends now too and that’s tough bc he’s a loner. At the end you got what you wanted for him to be nearly alone.
I agree with this. How horrible and selfish of him to expect for you to attend his events but not yours!? He’s not giving a fuck about your needs and wants. If he truly wanted it to work out you would have seen a a change already. Remember, actions speak louder than words and life is too short to keep waiting in the quicksand, waiting for a “boy” to fall into your standards.
Not necessarily. He owned the house prior to marriage so unless you comingle your assets, the house would not automatically become a shared asset should you divorce.
And personally, I would not pay towards a mortgage I’m not on without a rental agreement in place.
If his behavior isn't safe for you, you need to have a place (like his room, hopefully childproofed) where you can take him to cool off alone. Explain to him that you understand he's sad and angry about his toys being taken away, but biting/hitting hurts and isn't okay, and if he continues, you'll have to put him in his safe place and remove yourself so you don't get hurt. It's not about a time out either, it's him being able to have his big emotions in a safe space where he can't hurt others or himself. If he wants company/support through his big feelings about having toys taken away, he should be able to have it, but you need to be firm that when his big feelings have accompanying actions that hurt people, people can't be there for him until he is ready to use his words, not his fists/teeth.
Eh I think OP was using slightly reductive language because they didn't want to be specific about which subculture they're trying to get involved with. As far as actual participants, some people will broadly refer to themselves in goofy high school terms “nerds” “gamers” “metalheads” “weebs” etc. But the basic label is just a shorthand way to identify another subculture member.
I could be a time thing or it could be because you talk about your gf with your best friend alot and she is getting jealous that way. It's probably both. Even if you spent time with your best friend I can see her still getting jealous if you mention your gf or if your gf came along with you.
I think it's more about your best friend recognizing that they are feeling jealous rather then it being a mental trigger. Your friend needs to realize this to better understand why they feel jealous so they can better deal with it themselves. Rather then what they are doing now which is guilt tripping you into feeling bad about talking about someone special to you. Even though your friend has mental issues it's not and excuse to make you feel bad for talking about someone who brings you joy.
Mourn what you've lost, a youthful romance. It's super ok to be sad, because what she did to you was objectively mean. Feel them feels, but keep an eye on the future. You have SO MUCH life ahead of you!
You'll find someone that is absolutely inspired by your story of coming back from spinal injury, and will be proud to date you. Eventually, you'll struggle to recall this girl's name when you tell the story of your worst ex over drinks with your cool friends.
6 months ago she was a virgin, too, and grossed out by the idea of sex. I guess the 40 year old isn't with someone 20 years younger for anything but her beautiful mind.
Really the entire concept of America, as rights are being systematically stripped away, where guns and fetuses have more rights than school children, you know, your basics.
We as humans are by our nature social creatures. Even if we choose to not have people close to us as say, friends we do tend to seek out that contact the majority of the time. And unless you are a hermit living completely off grid with only trees and shrubs for company, this holds true for even yourself.
A good case in point is that you are here in Reddit conversing with complete strangers.
I actually don't see that she was ever stringing him along though and that whilst they had their differences when it came to socialising, I have a very strong feeling that it's that overall underlying dependence he had on her for all of his social needs and wants that drive her away in the end. I think the “cruelty” aspect of it is that we only see the culmination of something that has been going on for a while.
Granted we only have his side to this but I can see that as a “homebody” he may of taken umbrage to her socialising to the extent that he may of been asking her to join him in his homebody life. There is a lot of reading between the lines to come to this conclusion of course but I think it's a fair one to make. The ending of what they had I think was the end result of a drip by drip erosion that saw her slowly but surely pull her away, even whilst he was probably trying to pull her closer.
Just bc you got some destructive criticism doesn’t mean you have to lag out back at them. You could’ve been the bigger person and accepted it. Now you lose a friend and he must’ve lost friends now too and that’s tough bc he’s a loner. At the end you got what you wanted for him to be nearly alone.
Clearly here he is doing this to try and force her to do what he wants with the threat of being homeless. This is abusive.
You need to help her get out of there ASAP.
I agree with this. How horrible and selfish of him to expect for you to attend his events but not yours!? He’s not giving a fuck about your needs and wants. If he truly wanted it to work out you would have seen a a change already. Remember, actions speak louder than words and life is too short to keep waiting in the quicksand, waiting for a “boy” to fall into your standards.
Not necessarily. He owned the house prior to marriage so unless you comingle your assets, the house would not automatically become a shared asset should you divorce.
And personally, I would not pay towards a mortgage I’m not on without a rental agreement in place.
If his behavior isn't safe for you, you need to have a place (like his room, hopefully childproofed) where you can take him to cool off alone. Explain to him that you understand he's sad and angry about his toys being taken away, but biting/hitting hurts and isn't okay, and if he continues, you'll have to put him in his safe place and remove yourself so you don't get hurt. It's not about a time out either, it's him being able to have his big emotions in a safe space where he can't hurt others or himself. If he wants company/support through his big feelings about having toys taken away, he should be able to have it, but you need to be firm that when his big feelings have accompanying actions that hurt people, people can't be there for him until he is ready to use his words, not his fists/teeth.
Lawyer chat. He will probably have to pay child support, and he can go live with the troll lady.
Eh I think OP was using slightly reductive language because they didn't want to be specific about which subculture they're trying to get involved with. As far as actual participants, some people will broadly refer to themselves in goofy high school terms “nerds” “gamers” “metalheads” “weebs” etc. But the basic label is just a shorthand way to identify another subculture member.
I could be a time thing or it could be because you talk about your gf with your best friend alot and she is getting jealous that way. It's probably both. Even if you spent time with your best friend I can see her still getting jealous if you mention your gf or if your gf came along with you.
I think it's more about your best friend recognizing that they are feeling jealous rather then it being a mental trigger. Your friend needs to realize this to better understand why they feel jealous so they can better deal with it themselves. Rather then what they are doing now which is guilt tripping you into feeling bad about talking about someone special to you. Even though your friend has mental issues it's not and excuse to make you feel bad for talking about someone who brings you joy.
Mourn what you've lost, a youthful romance. It's super ok to be sad, because what she did to you was objectively mean. Feel them feels, but keep an eye on the future. You have SO MUCH life ahead of you!
You'll find someone that is absolutely inspired by your story of coming back from spinal injury, and will be proud to date you. Eventually, you'll struggle to recall this girl's name when you tell the story of your worst ex over drinks with your cool friends.
Absolutely not! Would love to keep her as a friend
6 months ago she was a virgin, too, and grossed out by the idea of sex. I guess the 40 year old isn't with someone 20 years younger for anything but her beautiful mind.
I want more stories from this person
Really the entire concept of America, as rights are being systematically stripped away, where guns and fetuses have more rights than school children, you know, your basics.
i’m just wondering what’s wrong with wanting to be the best for him and the best he’s been with
I gave you an upvote because you are not wrong.
We as humans are by our nature social creatures. Even if we choose to not have people close to us as say, friends we do tend to seek out that contact the majority of the time. And unless you are a hermit living completely off grid with only trees and shrubs for company, this holds true for even yourself.
A good case in point is that you are here in Reddit conversing with complete strangers.
I actually don't see that she was ever stringing him along though and that whilst they had their differences when it came to socialising, I have a very strong feeling that it's that overall underlying dependence he had on her for all of his social needs and wants that drive her away in the end. I think the “cruelty” aspect of it is that we only see the culmination of something that has been going on for a while.
Granted we only have his side to this but I can see that as a “homebody” he may of taken umbrage to her socialising to the extent that he may of been asking her to join him in his homebody life. There is a lot of reading between the lines to come to this conclusion of course but I think it's a fair one to make. The ending of what they had I think was the end result of a drip by drip erosion that saw her slowly but surely pull her away, even whilst he was probably trying to pull her closer.