Your parents are way to involved in your relationship.
As a parent it is perfectly fine to provide advice and assistance to a grown child. That is where it ends. It is not up to us to make personal opinions about someone else's behavior. I can see how they could feel the way they do as they are looking for the best for you. In addition to their statements they compounded it all by starting a garage of insults and complaints by text – never a good communication method for personal interactions.
As an outsider I can see quite clearly why your GF would not want to move to accommodate you. If you really want a position then it seems you could be hired in a different location. She most likely worked naked to get to the desired posting.
Aside from all that it seems really odd that you are contemplating a break up over this. It does not bode well for any future if this situation has you looking for the exit sign.
You should be able to discuss this, to show each other what you enjoy, to talk about your fantasies, to try new things together. You need to speak to her, and she needs therapy, or you’ll end up resenting her and with a dead bedroom. Sex gets better the longer you’re in a relationship, because you know each other a little better each time you have sex. I would pause everything and focus on fixing this before moving forward. It’s such a shame that she isn’t having great sex either.
You were spot on until you said “there’s nothing wrong with the dad”. There’s plenty wrong with him. He said himself that he settled for OP just to have a nanny, housekeeper, and cook, not because he loved her. That’s just some misogynistic BS. I can tell you empathize with his situation, but this man does not deserve anyones sympathy. He’s emotionally abusing an innocent women because he can’t handle his own emotions.
If you had a good relationship with your family before this guy, don't be afraid to ask for help. May be they'll give you a little “I told you so” talk but atleast you'll have some support while leaving this guy.
Are the locations 'unsafe'? I'm not a jewelry wearer, but I know people in my life who love wearing jewelry, i.e. my mom, friends, etc.
When we travel, we kind of have to gauge the 'safety' of the location based on word of mouth or word of tour guides lol. Maybe she's told it's not safe to her to wear jewelry or real jewelry b/c thieves or robbers or whatnot.
That's another alternative than losing her ring in the middle of the trip (that's BAD if that's what happened).
Or do you want people to validate your fear that there's something going on with her older coworker? It can be that too, but ask her first, find out what's happening.
Obviously I'll tell the story as it was if inquired, but I don't have to do mental gymnastics as I don't think of myself as a cheater, for me the relationship was over as soon as I saw that video of them hooking up, I was just asking people how to DEAL with it. This is something you can agree or disagree with but about the other reason you mentioned, “other miscellaneous reasons” are not cheating (which I consider is the ultimate betrayal) so other miscellaneous reasons would have other miscellaneous consequences. However, thanks for offering me your opinion, all opinions are welcome.
If you can’t handle the idea of your girlfriend interacting with men on a daily basis for her line of work then you aren’t mature enough to be in a relationship point blank period. This isn’t 1950 my guy.
To be a bit gentler about it though, I understand the insecurity but it’s based in misogyny and seeing women as sex objects first and people second. You can work on this, probably not in this relationship, but as a single person. Get to therapy if you can afford it and if you can’t, you can start with something as simple as journaling and just mentally “catching” thoughts like these and correcting yourself. I had to do that for a partner in college and it made a world of difference for my own internalized misogyny. She’s perfectly within her right to never speak to you again and you should definitely work on this before entering into another relationship. But you can do this
This is a huge red flag. Empathy isn't difficult, but here he is invalidating your current state in an attempt to put you off of telling him about how you feel.
It's a long winded way to say, “I don't want to hear you complain.”
Maybe he thought he was just making small talk? That's the kind of thing he might say if your brother introduced you at a party. Maybe it didn't occur to him that you might interpret it as an attempt to hit on him, and was horrified to discover that that's how you interpreted it, and had no idea how to reply?
Do you really, really think that the man was trying to start something with you over facebook? Isn't it much more likely that he was trying to be nice, and put his foot in his mouth?
Most men are attracted to a lot of different type of women. I think my wife is beautiful. That doesn't mean that I don't also find different types of women attractive. If you don't have an issue with him having a TikTok account to follow scantily clad women, then you shouldn't have an issue over the type of women he follows.
I come down on Jenny's side of this.
Your parents are way to involved in your relationship.
As a parent it is perfectly fine to provide advice and assistance to a grown child. That is where it ends. It is not up to us to make personal opinions about someone else's behavior. I can see how they could feel the way they do as they are looking for the best for you. In addition to their statements they compounded it all by starting a garage of insults and complaints by text – never a good communication method for personal interactions.
As an outsider I can see quite clearly why your GF would not want to move to accommodate you. If you really want a position then it seems you could be hired in a different location. She most likely worked naked to get to the desired posting.
Aside from all that it seems really odd that you are contemplating a break up over this. It does not bode well for any future if this situation has you looking for the exit sign.
You should be able to discuss this, to show each other what you enjoy, to talk about your fantasies, to try new things together. You need to speak to her, and she needs therapy, or you’ll end up resenting her and with a dead bedroom. Sex gets better the longer you’re in a relationship, because you know each other a little better each time you have sex. I would pause everything and focus on fixing this before moving forward. It’s such a shame that she isn’t having great sex either.
You were spot on until you said “there’s nothing wrong with the dad”. There’s plenty wrong with him. He said himself that he settled for OP just to have a nanny, housekeeper, and cook, not because he loved her. That’s just some misogynistic BS. I can tell you empathize with his situation, but this man does not deserve anyones sympathy. He’s emotionally abusing an innocent women because he can’t handle his own emotions.
she should still give you the f'n password.
If you had a good relationship with your family before this guy, don't be afraid to ask for help. May be they'll give you a little “I told you so” talk but atleast you'll have some support while leaving this guy.
Where is she traveling?
Are the locations 'unsafe'? I'm not a jewelry wearer, but I know people in my life who love wearing jewelry, i.e. my mom, friends, etc.
When we travel, we kind of have to gauge the 'safety' of the location based on word of mouth or word of tour guides lol. Maybe she's told it's not safe to her to wear jewelry or real jewelry b/c thieves or robbers or whatnot.
That's another alternative than losing her ring in the middle of the trip (that's BAD if that's what happened).
Or do you want people to validate your fear that there's something going on with her older coworker? It can be that too, but ask her first, find out what's happening.
Obviously I'll tell the story as it was if inquired, but I don't have to do mental gymnastics as I don't think of myself as a cheater, for me the relationship was over as soon as I saw that video of them hooking up, I was just asking people how to DEAL with it. This is something you can agree or disagree with but about the other reason you mentioned, “other miscellaneous reasons” are not cheating (which I consider is the ultimate betrayal) so other miscellaneous reasons would have other miscellaneous consequences. However, thanks for offering me your opinion, all opinions are welcome.
It's over
If you can’t handle the idea of your girlfriend interacting with men on a daily basis for her line of work then you aren’t mature enough to be in a relationship point blank period. This isn’t 1950 my guy.
To be a bit gentler about it though, I understand the insecurity but it’s based in misogyny and seeing women as sex objects first and people second. You can work on this, probably not in this relationship, but as a single person. Get to therapy if you can afford it and if you can’t, you can start with something as simple as journaling and just mentally “catching” thoughts like these and correcting yourself. I had to do that for a partner in college and it made a world of difference for my own internalized misogyny. She’s perfectly within her right to never speak to you again and you should definitely work on this before entering into another relationship. But you can do this
This is a huge red flag. Empathy isn't difficult, but here he is invalidating your current state in an attempt to put you off of telling him about how you feel.
It's a long winded way to say, “I don't want to hear you complain.”
Maybe he thought he was just making small talk? That's the kind of thing he might say if your brother introduced you at a party. Maybe it didn't occur to him that you might interpret it as an attempt to hit on him, and was horrified to discover that that's how you interpreted it, and had no idea how to reply?
Do you really, really think that the man was trying to start something with you over facebook? Isn't it much more likely that he was trying to be nice, and put his foot in his mouth?
Most men are attracted to a lot of different type of women. I think my wife is beautiful. That doesn't mean that I don't also find different types of women attractive. If you don't have an issue with him having a TikTok account to follow scantily clad women, then you shouldn't have an issue over the type of women he follows.