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Date: October 4, 2022
“I wouldn’t say we are best friends, but we are still pretty close.” to “she is in our will to get my daughter if we die.” Maths not mathin so I think it’s fake. If not, you have even more of a reason to quit your job. She just threw a ticking bomb on your marriage
It sounds like you should talk to him about it. Everyone grows up eventually you hope. Maybe this is it for him. You may find if you speak to him you can work out the thing in your mind that’s now making you hold back. Maybe it’s fear that he won’t commit because you’re older. Maybe it’s trying to work out what he sees in younger women. But either way he said he’s happy with you so this block is with you, and if you’re taking more chances that means giving a chance too. If after hashing it out you can’t move past it at least you gave it a go instead of backing off immediately, which it sounds like something you’ve done in the past and want to change.
I also require him to not abuse me mentally. Physically, emotionally, verbally, etc.
That’s not a sacrifice though. That’s requiring mutual respect. And yes boundaries are healthy but that’s what you do to keep yourself safe, that’s not you requiring sacrifice to prove love. And expectations are only ok if agreed on, you can go on expecting people to do shit if they don’t agree.
And choosing to sacrifice without being asked because it makes the other person happy is way different than forcing the other person to sacrifice to prove they love you. The first is sweet, the second one what you’re doing, is toxic.
I'm confused – is this a couples friendship? Or is OP only friends with the wife of the other couple, and the four of them do not socialize?
If it's the four of them – would you meet up with a husband and wife as friends and act if everything is peachy if you knew one of them is cheating on the other? That sounds messed up.
Similarly, if you have a spouse who has a friend who is stepping out on their spouse, not because they found the love of their life in their affair partner, but because they are love starved and need some on the side, I think it would be kind of marital malpractice to let your spouse “hang out” with that “friend”.
She doesn't know of he is. Why do you think she wants to hire a PI? You don't even read the words of OP. You pick out her emotion in the post and then make a judgment on that rather than the facts.
You could tell him that and let him know you're doing it because you really care even if he doesn't understand, someday he will.
…And hopefully find a way to make the second part sound less condesending to an 18 year old LOL but that's just a natural side effect of your difference in experience, it's the whole point.
It’s time to realize your sister is the golden child and you’re not ever going to be in any kind of spotlight if she’s around. Start distancing yourself from them and integrating yourself into your partners family. They seem to have been there more for you than you own family.
Tell them to keep that same energy when the baby is here and they suddenly want them around all the time. Surround yourself with the people that actually care about you and have all the damn parties you want! You’re a first time mom and you deserve all the hoopla you want.
Omg. Link?
While I wont use the word crazy, I could use the word 'insecure”. If she broke up with you over something like that then I rather think you dodged a bullet. Your partner should not control you or be as clingy as she sounds. Thats not partnering, it's CONTROL. Let the breakup stay in place. You should put this in your red flag folder and get on with your life.