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Morgan, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 25, 2022
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It's just scary… but it does need to be done I just wish I had more support for it. He never used to treat me like shit.. but he definitely does now.. im only staying really for the roof over my head and my pets..
What's wrong with you, quit posting here and go fix your left. She can do so much better then you.
January 6th protestor.
People pleasers give up what they want to make the other happy, and that IS a problem. But the solution for it isn’t to become so rigid that you end up forcing the other person into to giving up what they want to make you happy. The solution for being a people pleaser is to share what you want, respect what the other person wants and look for win/win solutions and compromises that take both sides needs into consideration. All you’re doing is going from one extreme of people pleasing, to the other extreme of being stubborn.
Sometimes things just don't work out. Oh well.
You begged him not to do go ahead with it. He did it anyways. This isn't a self-sabotage. This is him taking advantage of the situation and gaslighting you into believing it's your fault.
You are allowed to change your mind. In this instance, he has shown you that he doesn't care about your feelings. Do not allow him to frame this as you're the problem. He disrespected you and crossed the line.
There isn't a way back. You already had a sense of his unhappiness and thought what would make him happy is an open-relationship. But you didn't consider your happiness. You don't give someone what they want in hopes they stay at the expense of your well-being.
Start thinking about you. You need to be selfish in order to protect yourself. Stop beating yourself up. The punishment doesn't fit the crime. Don't fool yourself into thinking it's your fault. Re-read what you wrote and pretend your friend said that to you. What would your take be? Why is it any different when it's you?
Don't try and change him and yourself to salvage the relationship. It's not going to work and is only going to keep burning and hurting for however long you hang on.
Don't interfere. Wait until you receive his thank you card because by refusing him you enabled him to get with her and understand your own insignificance. A slight interest in you (that from what you described wasn't even nessecarily romantic) doesn't prevent him to fall for a better person