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I have been with my fiancé for almost 5 years, engaged for 1.5 years. We're an inter-racial couple- me being from Canada and he from India.
I finally have a triple-figure net worth, half of which I've made since we started dating. He has only a few thousand in savings. Since our relationship, we have always had similar incomes, with him currently making more. I am generally safer with my money, and he has lost alot of his in poor investments.
He has always planned to bring over his parents from India (who I met there recently), to online with us, or nearby. I was uncomfortable with this idea initially, early on in our relationship. After meeting them, I feel more flexible about this, because we all got along fine while staying at their house for a few weeks.
We all realize that I will be the one to pay the downpayment for our first home, as I am the only one with savings. I will likely be equally financially responsible for his parents, because he can't afford to provide for them by himself, and their only wealth is their house, which they intend to keep.
2 years ago (pre engagement), I told my then boyfriend, that I'd like us to have a cohabitation agreement, because we were coming up to 2 years living together. This would also act as our prenup, if we were to get married. I asked him if he'd be ok with that. He said yes. I included him in the drafts, since he didn't want to get his own lawyer. When I gave the contract to him to read and sign, he wouldn't sign.
Fast forward 2 years, and it still isn't signed. I have tried explaining how it's important for me to protect myself, especially since I will be contributing the most financially, to provide for us all. I am happy for him to get a lawyer and make ammendments. I just want to know that in the worst case scenario, I won't continue to be financially responsible for all of them, or lose more than my fair share, because he cannot support his parents. He knows I have witnessed many divorces, including my own parents. I'm a realist and want to be responsible. He feels like I don't trust him and that I must not truely love him, if I'm thinking of finances.
I understand that our opinions on this are somewhat cultural, but I think it's unfair for me to be flexible and willing to take all of this on, without any security net if things go south. I was very resentful and anxious after the few failed attempts I made at having him sign/discussing it. I always left the conversations feeling selfish and immoral. I eventually gave up and have tried to let it go.
We're two months away from our wedding now and some of this worry and resentment is resurfacing. What would you suggest doing in this situation? He is otherwise a wonderful, kind man and I do love him.