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Room for online sex video chat Nicole_Broown
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Birth Date: 2003-11-05
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Date: November 1, 2022
You should push for couples counseling to at least sort this out for the kids. It can morph into a pre divorce counseling. Honestly though it sounds like she has been cheating and I’m not sure how much it matters whether it’s with a man or woman. At the very least go to IC. She just blew up your life and you didn’t deserve it.
Look. I know it's a stereotype that the only advice we give on r/relationship_advice is, “Divorce his ass.” And, speaking only for myself, I always try to give different advice than that because it's rarely that simple. So please don't just roll your eyes when I tell you:
25f 27m I don’t know what to do about my husband and I wanting a different future.
The answer is to divorce his ass. Because the thing is, the reason you marry someone is because you want the same future.
And even then, I'm going to give slightly different advice. Don't divorce his ass. Instead, give him an ultimatum — or, as other, saner people put it, “Set some boundaries.” Maybe something like this:
“Honey. Look. Here's the thing. There are things I want to do with my life” (like go places, meet people, have children, whatever; you can fill in your own goals here) “that I cannot currently do because of who you are and your total disengagement from our life. You are clinically depressed and you don't seem to care. You made promises about getting into therapy and you broke them. That doesn't bode well for our marriage. So here's the deal: You have six months. On July 1st, 2023, you need to be in a certain spot:” (Enrolled in classes? Seeing a therapist? Taking medications? Walking the dog? Fill in appropriate goals here.) “If you are not, then it will be time for us to end this marriage. I love you, but I can't on-line the life I want if you're going to keep being the person you are now. And I shouldn't have to give up the rest of my life to clean dog piss.”
So you were patient with him and understanding but he is not returning the favour.
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She definitely should leave him. He should get a female humanoid robot.
If he was keen to organise a meet up he'd have gotten in when he said he would.
It could be that he's not interested or it could be that he knows you're going away for six months and doesn't see the point in meeting because nothing can progress.
There is a chance he could still get in touch but try to put him out of your mind. I wouldn't write to him again.
Also, talking a lot doesnt equal deeper connection, please keep that in mind!
That would mean I have a very strong connection to my coworker, because I tell her what I eat, when I'm going to the toilet, when I'm on my period, how cute my cat was yesterday and so om. You get it 😀
He will kill you
I don't think you'll be able to explain this to her — if you further try to justify it she might even judge you more.
I wonder though if you know someone else she respects who could tell her why what you're doing is fine. I don't know, maybe a good friend of hers or a priest or something.
But to me, basically, I will say this: I used to have feelings at least somewhat similar to your wife. The thing that changed my mind was basically coming to believe that our system of capitalism is entirely rigged against us and if we have to capacity to claw a whole bunch of money out of it, we should gladly do it and have no qualms about it.
Another thing: you might tell her you're willing to do some charitable giving or volunteer work. So you can say your extra income makes it possible to do good in the world still, just indirectly while taking as much as possible from “the man.”
First you cheated on her (conveniently left that out, but it's all over your post history), then you waste time and money into therapy (I'm pretty sure her resentment is still there), and now you want to withold/delay breaking up to screw up her financial independence? Why the delay, why wait around for no fcking reason? Dude just do it now.
Seriously stop wasting time, there is nothing to dilly dally about and there is no reason to draw it out any longer.
Also the fact that you fund the therapist is because you had an affair and wanted to string her along. She resents you for your betrayal. The fact that you resent her for the therapy bill because you want to “fix” the betrayal you caused is a sort of a “leopards ate my face” rhetoric. Ironic.