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Ninajoy, 21 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Ninajoy
Date: October 17, 2022
Ninajoy, 21 y.o.
Location:
Room subject:
To Start on-line video press there
We are both 26, we have 5 months together but we already moved together. We have many plans ahead, we're even buying a house. She's the best, most caring and loving person I know. But this month, we have been having some really strong arguments.
I assume that many of those are related to Validation-seeking and Engagement-seeking behaviors from you.
And now yesterday we were at the company's Christmas party and I got drunk and my behavior wasn't the best. I'm scared and anxious right now, she's really mad at me right now.
Apologize, then promise her you'll limit yourself to 2- max 3 drinks in the future. Then tell her that's all you have to say about it and there's no excuse.
Then move on and stop malingering about it.
If she tries to argue, tell her you're sorry again then say you can only apologize so many times, the past is the past. Then change the subject.
I'm starting to think I'm not the best person for her and she deserves better,
OK, Stop. You're the Prize here, OP. This is the mentality you need to internalize. Your GF isn't the prize, you are.
You want somone who can forgive you for making mistakes and being human. You don't want an intolerant, unforgiving, begrudging person to earn the prize. You want somone who is a contender.
of course I don't want to this relationship to end and my plan is to become the better person she deserves,
Self-pity and self-loathing is a real sickness. It's infantile and it's ugly.
You don't need other people's pity or condescention. So don't do it to yourself either. This is a trait that helps young, helpless children understand the world but is unbecoming as an adult and serves no purpose, like a navel. You're no longer utterly dependent on your mother for protection, nourishment, and care. Therefore stop picking at the scars leftover from where your lifeline fell off.
Nobody cares what your girlfriend does or doesn't deserve. Either she wants to be on board your ship, or else she doesn't.
This is about becoming an improved version of yourself that you deserve, and about that alone. Because you should be able to look yourself in the mirror and say “Im doing pretty as a human being and as a member of society.”
Remember that in Baseball, the best of the best, hall of fame hitters are only slightly above 0.3 batting average. That means you can swing and miss more than 2/3 of the time and still get inducted into the hall of fame. Think about that.
She told me our relationship is strong and breaking up is not an option, but I know if I don't change she'll get tired of me
You have undue, nagging fears of abandonment and disengagement that were taught to you.
Make no mistake, these aren't normal or reasonable and this is taught behavior. They were taught to you by selfish parents who used invalidation, dismissivenedd, and isolation as a punishment for inconveniencing them. Rather than them being responsive to your emotional needs, asking questions, and helping to organize your feeling. See, putting you in time-out often.
So instead of asking for sympathy and leadership, you're constantly checking that they haven't checked out and lost interest, meanwhile pitying and blaming yourself.
See: Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style.
Sounds like you're getting pretty tired of drama and slow key dismissive behaviors from her end, yourself.
But you don't want to be honest about that because of your disorganized fears of abandonment. You associate expressing your frustrations and need for a change in behavior, with dismissal and abandonment.
Stop projecting your own frustrations onto her. It's disrespectful. It says you'd prefer not believe what she actually tells you and would prefer to use her as a hollow box to insert your own narrative into.
A bigger bed would be super helpful and I should seriously look into it.
Idk if it’s the right or wrong thing to do (i don’t have pets myself) but her cats don’t have specific meal times. She leaves dry food out for them to have whenever they want…but my mom feeds her own cats wet food in the morning and early evening. Maybe doing that would help, i have no idea. My mom’s cats also sleep in bed with her the entire night – no jumping up and down. Wish hers were like that…
Is it “normal” to be anxious?
Sure.
Is it a warning that you’re rushing yourself? Almost certainly.
There’s zero logic in this post it’s upsetting lol. So many questions about any choice you’ve made but the most important one is why on earth would you get that close to several immediate family members of someone you cut out, out of respect for your husband?
I am so sorry for your lost. I can empathize. I lost my two brothers, both unexpectedly, young and within a year of each other. It was devastating to myself, my family and our community. 5 years later and I am only starting to heal now.
Grief is all consuming. You are trying to find your journey through it all while watching and helping your family grieve too. Losing a sibling is one of the hardest things and unfortunately the people who help us in nude times are not available due to their own grief. Your journey will look different to mine but it will also take time.
You need to focus on yourself right now. I don't know where that leaves your partner. Are they capable of supporting you and putting aside their wants and needs to give you time to start healing? My partner was phenomenal. Most of my friends too. But I did “lose” a few people. That's ok. You need to take some time and reflect on what you need and if they can give it. What they need and if you can give it right now without hurting yourself more.
Be kind to yourself. Strongly suggest some grief counseling. My only regret is not starting that earlier. It's good to talk with someone that understands but is not emotionally involved with the loss.
My thoughts are with you today. I hope you find some peace in your day today.
You made the right decision.
Its a real problem that many dogs have but there are trainers who can work with the dogs and their families to fix behavior issues. The worst thing to do is to leave the dog alone like u have been trying to do. It makes them worse. The ASPCA should be able to help u find someone qualifies to help you. Try to be positive. By doing this you are truly trying and not giving up. Also t your local animal pound/rescue may also be able to point you to a professional that can help you.