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Date: December 23, 2022
Exactly
So…he posted on Reddit about getting a Barista's number to make friends with him and his wife, but it's secretly an affair attempt?
Why would he do that?
Unless he didn't, and you're just presumptuous as fuck.
Why in the world are you tying up your finances so much if you’re not even sure you want to marry her, and if you don’t see yourself marrying her at all the way your relationship stands today ?
As for the splitting. If you’re making significantly more then you should be paying more. Splitting a $1200 mortgage is a lot different from $3400. Ever stop to think that’s the reason she can’t split it down the middle? Seeing as her half of the mortgage on the new home is much more her total mortgage that you were previously splitting.
And for the intimacy. Don’t complain if you aren’t willing to work toward making changes. Either have a conversation about it being a dealbreaker and seek help or leave. Stop dwelling on that part of the relationship if the two of you can’t work together to fix it.
I think its the beginning of a controlling behaviour when you won't accept anything from your partner, and then force them to miss out on things because you can't afford to do it. Why can she not treat you the same as you treat her?
Again, that hits close to home. As someone recovering from PPD and PPA, sleep deprivation is actually what almost ruined my marriage but I’m persevering with medication and will consider counseling before throwing in the towel.
OP’s reaction could very well be intensified by that kind of hormonal imbalance (especially her distorted view of herself and being unable to look in the mirror) but I still think she would be justified wanting to separate regardless since it has been a while with no improvement in therapy. I just couldn’t imagine raising three kids with a partner I could no longer trust after such a demoralizing discovery.
There are none so blind as they who will not see.
You’re trying to find another explanation for your friend’s behavior because you don’t want to lose a friend. But the fact is there are lots of guys who are into girls but who aren’t bold enough to make a move and the indications are that your best friend is one of them.
You need to talk to your friend and explain your feelings and what you want your relationship with him to be. Even if he really doesn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with you, it can’t hurt to talk to him about it.
But if he actually does want to be with you in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, set boundaries with him and if he won’t agree or breaks those boundaries, you will stop being friends with him. And stick to your guns.
Girl, you don't need to put up with this bullshit. You were what, 22 when you started dating? Is this middle-aged creep the only man in your city? You can do better.
She’s dating you. A stuffed animal is not a red flag. You are taking things slowly in that you aren’t together constantly. Seems healthy. Why are you looking for problems? And. Talk to her. Not us.
You are missing the point. You are the person who has a problem. She does not. Do not make your problem into her problem.
The moment he said your perfectly reasonable travel plan was the definition of hoeish activities, my brain screamed “YOU ARE DATING A CHILD” and “LEAVE”.