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Date: October 8, 2022
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Are you and your boyfriend willing to try to manage the allergy? If so, here are some things you can try:
De-shed the dog.
You don’t mention what kind of dog you have, but I’m going to guess it’s a double-coated breed. Both long and shorthaired dogs can be double-coated, and unless you specifically go looking for a single-coated dog (like a poodle), you probably have a double-coated dog. What this means is that the dog has both an undercoat and a topcoat. The undercoat is the part that causes allergy issues for most people. It sheds out more frequently than the top coat, and because of the texture, it traps allergens more easily.
To de-shed a dog, the best thing is to take the dog to a groomer that knows how to de-shed. (Not all groomers do.) This is a process that involves blowing the dog’s undercoat out with a high velocity blowdryer. If you go this route, your dog needs to go every three weeks or so. This is due to the growth cycle of dog hair.
If this isn’t an option for you, the next best thing depends on whether your dog is long or shorthaired. For a longhaired dog, get an undercoat rake and brush the dog out with it twice a week. There are many, many undercoat rakes on the market, but my personal favorite is called the Mars Coat King. Do not use a Furminator. It cuts the coat rather than removing the undercoat.
For a shorthaired dog, you can use a grooming/shed stone or shed blade. Furminator is a shed blade and is okay to use in shorthaired dogs. You’ll still need to brush twice a week.
Change your dog’s food.
This one is a bit complicated because it’s very much dependent on the individual dog and person, so I can’t just tell you to feed X food. I’d suggest starting with a food without the most common allergens (wheat, corn) and with an added probiotic or fish oil. The easiest way is to get something like salmon or whitefish as the primary protein. But like I said, this is very individual. In my household, we had to find a food without gluten or sunflower oil.
If you do this, give it at least four weeks before trying a different brand. This is once again due to the dog hair growth cycle.
Use a dander removal shampoo and spray.
The only brand I’m aware of that actually works is called Allerpet. Use the shampoo whenever you bath the dog, which can be as often as every week — which is what my allergist recommends. Allerpet is a very gentle shampoo, so there’s no concern with over-bathing your dog. That said, you might find that bathing less frequently is sufficient, but you probably won’t want to do it less often than every three weeks (hair growth cycle).
The spray can be used 2-3 times a week, as per the manufacturer’s suggestions. That said, I’d probably use it every day while visiting your boyfriend until you find something else that helps.
Get air purifiers for your boyfriend’s house.
You’ll want a HEPA filter. There’s some recommendation for one purifier for however many square feet, but I don’t know it off the top of my head. Your boyfriend should keep them going even when you aren’t there.
Get your boyfriend to a doctor.
This is assuming he doesn’t already have an allergist. An allergist can help with desensitization treatments (like allergy shots), medications, and other treatments.
Medications.
This should be in conjunction with seeing an allergist, especially since the best medication would likely be prescription, but I know that isn’t an option available to everyone. There are over-the-counter medications that are available that could really help your boyfriend. Zyrtec and Claritin are probably the most common, but there are newer generation allergy medications that supposedly work better and have less side effects. Personally, I have had the best luck with Zyrtec, a neti pot, and the occasional Mucinex, but everyone will react differently.
How much of an asshole do you have to be to leave a comment like this?
It’s because they are “compatible in every other way”!
(No clue how, since OP doesn’t mention the hundreds of ways they are apparently compatible)
You’re a legal adult. It’s kidnapping if she physically blocks you from leaving. Just go. And they don’t need constant updates, you’re not a child
twice a week with a 10 month old who doesn't sleep? Count yourself lucky my guy.
Wrong. If boyfriend is paying rent having other people have extended stays is a completely reasonable to be annoyed with.
4 people in a house for someone trying to live their day to day life can be a huge burden especially if it’s not a huge place (probably isn’t if he’s sleeping in the laundry room.
Why can Mel a full grown adult not come up with an alternative sleeping arrangement like hotel or something. Why would the boyfriend have to go stay somewhere else to make room for some random dork
If you really want to text him something, I’d say something much simpler
“I appreciate your need for space as you figure yourself out. I am leaving this relationship, as I also need to take care of myself. The door is open if you ever want to walk back through – but you will have to knock”.
He has shown you who he is. What you choose to do with that information is up to you. But I think you have enough info to see what a future with him will look like and in my opinion it looks like you carrying the household responsibility and him finding excuses not to.
You can always blame your parents and say they said no. You don't have to give a reason why, just say they didn't tell you why, they just said no.
There is no future in this relationship. It feels like you keep imagining some future where he leaves the mom to online the life she's made for herself, and that isn't going to happen.
Sometimes the answer is no. Not “Convince me”.