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PantsLessTraveler, 32 y.o.
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Date: October 17, 2022
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Do you like having human rights? If so, do not move to an Islamic country. Him trying to convert you is crazy. I know everyone on reddit is quick go say break up, but this is definitely breakup-worthy if he won't stop.
It’s upsetting that this comment is so far down in the list. I probably would’ve done the exact same thing as OP. It’s really troubling that the husband expected her to keep that a secret to her support system in the first place.
Like yeah I get the hypocrisy of wanting to keep something private but then not keeping someone else’s thing private. But telling a trusted part of your support system that you feel emotionally (or maybe even physically too? who knows) unsafe is way different than gossiping about a spouse’s secret.
This is going to sound sarcastic, but I’m completely serious: how old were you when you stopped feeling pressure re: your looks?
I keep hoping to get that old…
Your husband is a grade A douche for insinuating that infidelity is on the table. As for you, fear keeps our species alive, but disproportionate fear should not be the driving force behind your decision making. And the fact is, crippling fear of unbarriered sex following a permanent sterilization procedure is absolutely a disproportionate reaction to the risk of pregnancy that you would face.
I would suggest counseling for yourself to help you unpack these anxieties, because you don't deserve walking around with this giant weight on your shoulders. I also suggest marriage counseling to piece together if what you and your husband have is worth saving. Threatening you with cheating is absolutely not okay and you are valid to be hurt by it. Likewise, a lifetime of barriered sex following permanent sterilization is a hard compromise and he is valid to be hurt by that too.
Preach sister.
She deserves someone who will also ghost for weeks when one of their exes gets engaged, has kids, takes a vacation, eats at their former restaurant, etc. It’s good because she’ll understand what they’re going through. Hope she finds exactly what she’s looking for!
Her questions are valid. You met on the internet…
This is exactly why people stay in abusive or controlling relationships. They push your boundaries until you finally put your foot down, and then they backpedal with roses and apologies to weasel back in. A few weeks later after things have calmed down, they're back to pushing boundaries.
He's only acting this way because there was literally no other way to keep you. I promise you he will be back at it again soon.
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Honestly I’d block the lot of them. It sounds harsh, but it’s necessary. Going to visit her will only feed into her delusions that you’re coming back and make it worse when you eventually do move on.