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Penny, 20 y.o.
Location: United States
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Date: December 18, 2022
firstly, im really sorry this is happening to you.
there’s not a lot I, as a stranger on the internet, can say to try and make this decision easier, because it isn’t an easy decision. It sounds like you may be in shock right now, in which case I would advise against making any life changing decisions.
While moving maybe hard, do you really want to stay around this man, who had so little respect for you and the vows you took, who has seemingly been lying to you for years, assuming the deleted messages were proof of the seemingly obvious. Do you really want your son living in an environment where his parents are clearly not together, but faking it and convincing him that that’s what love and family is?
It’s easy for me to say leave, but personally, I could not be in that situation. That being said there was a post I read on here not too long ago, a husband cheated, they separated. They eventually agreed to get back together, so they could continue living like a family, but on the terms the marriage was opened. It sounded like she got what you may want, the family, the house, but without the dead weight of a partner that didn’t respect her or the mess of a divorce. Outside of keeping appearances, she barely interacted with him and instead focused entirely on herself and he relayed that she seemed genuinely happy (he was miserable but he also cheated so more fool him) if you want to stay, and avoid the potential hardships that come with separating, maybe that’s the option to consider?
Nope sorry, shit take. There is zero justification for what he said. Sure, going to the gym was something they did together but life happens, injuries happen, bodies change and age. When you marry someone it's for better or worse, sounds to me like he forgot that last part. If you think there is any justification for this, never ever get married.
In no way is it acceptable for him to be cruel and humiliate his wife because he doesn't like that her body has changed after an injury. You love someone's soul, not their body. Besides, OP literally says in her post that she's been back at the gym, losing weight and gaining confidence again? So what's the explanation now? He's an arsehole.
OP, walk away at least for now, make him see that this treatment is not acceptable and that you are worth so much more than that. Go on stay at a family members or friends. I suspect if you're the one to leave them he'll come crawling realising he ruined a good thing. But also space for yourself to work out how you can move forward from this – with or without him.
She lacks the ability of logical thinking. Tell her no, no and no and let that be the end of it.
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Nono! The teenager is the one he knocked up
Awe. It does sound like they are into each other. Be honest with the dude and hopefully he can be honest back. Best to know the truth now. Btw, you are being incredibly mature about this and empathetic to her even though this sucks for you. Not many people would be able to do that.
It’s hot for you to understand because you are lacking in morals. She was DATING him. They went on at least a few dates. That indicates she had a romantic interest in him. A good sister would have waited to see where they went before throwing themselves at him. You are getting too caught up in technicalities that you think excuses your shitty behavior, but it doesn’t. Feelings don’t care about technicalities. That is why it is bullshit for you to try to rely on them. What if she was very excited about this man and thought they had potential? What if she felt a connection? You wouldn’t know because you never bothered to talk about him with her, which is the very least you could have done before putting the moves on him. Even if he wasn’t feeling it with your sister, you should have waited until he ended things. I can’t believe how dense you are to not understand how shitty and disgusting your behavior is.
Brother she changed her passcode after she found out you were going through her phone. You don’t need to gather evidence, you need to gather the strength to do what needs to be done.
You don’t. You caused an HR issue that if you don’t reveal your source, you will more than likely lose your job based on the fact that you went out of your way to divulge personal work information that wasn’t any of your business to know in the first place. It’s better to come clean than to lose your job to protect a coworker who was gossiping.
Word of advice, mind your own business. It’s good for your health
That means a lot to me. It was very hot for a long time, but I’ve made peace with it, and I’m glad I didn't get an abortion.
Sage advice!
I totally heard you, she deserves better for sure
Fuckin YEET that whole man out the door, change the locks and then your address.
Seriously, sounds like he's nothing but trouble. He sounds like the type to escalate as well.
You don't need him to take accouability, you just need to recognise that he's no good and gtfo of there asap.
Good luck!
My kids are 5 and 7, so still young in all of this. I feel like he manipulates me as well but in a way it feels like he is helping me, so for example buying a house together.