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Date: October 10, 2022
The fact he took a video of it in his phone and didn’t delete it shows he doesn’t give a shit about you and he doesn’t respect you or the marriage.
I’d say get out before you have kids and he cheats again.
I’m sorry op, you deserve better.
Where did they say they follow that religion themselves?
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Your father is a pedophile. He’s a child abuser. I think your sister is absolutely crazy to bring her kids around this man. He was willing to abuse his own child, why wouldn’t he abuse someone else’s?
And yeah, your wife has every right to feel the way she does.
If it was any other person in the world, would you want to hang out with a pedophile? Would you make excuses for them; they’ve changed, they’re a good granddad now, they’re nice to me now?? He’s a pedophile. He abused you. For years.
I get that everyone heals differently but yeah, I would probably see my spouse differently if they could so casually go hang out with someone who did that to them.
I don’t want to tell you what to do, you were the victim here. But. Your wife will only ever see him as the man who abused you. As a man who has the potential to abuse your kids. And she now sees that you’re okay letting him into your life, even if you’re not bringing your kids around him now how long do you think it’ll be before they start asking why you go see grandpa without them?
Your wife is telling you she is not comfortable with you continuing this relationship. Is it more important to you for your wife to be happy and content in your relationship or for you to be in contact with your father?
You only see your daughter every other weekend and some holidays, which alone puts a strain on your relationship, and now you’ve gone two years not even getting her a birthday present because of your wife. If you don’t sort your shit out now you’ll be lucky if your daughter ever speaks to you again.
Either your wife lied to you because she knew she could manipulate you into abandoning your daughter, or she has just decided that she wants to be the only woman in your life. Either way, she’s an awful person and if you want any hope of keeping your daughter in your life, you should leave her.
My dad chose his wife over my sister and I and the damage that did to our relationship will never be fixed.
I once laughed when my friend fell down a huge flight of stairs. I was shocking and it just flew out if me, even though I didn't find the situation funny at all.
My grandfather laughed during my grandmother's funeral service, and he LOVED her so much. Later in the day I saw him cry for the first time ever in my life.
It's really not uncommon to laugh in moments of confusion, surprise, embarrassment or awkwardness. But it's also completely reasonable to feel hurt when someone laughs during a vulnerable moment.
Neither of you are bad people and it sounds like you both apologized to each other. The best thing to do here might be to just try to shake it off and move forward together.
You had the pets before the boyfriend. And the boyfriend can take care of himself while your birds cannot, they depend on you for their very survival. So unless you're willing to take the time to find a proper home for your birds and never have pets again while you're dating this person then I would put the moving in together on hold.
And if you're the type of person that wants pets in their life and he doesn't, what else are you guys not compatible about. That might be something to think about. I'm not saying ditch the relationship I'm just saying don't move in together until you guys have everything worked out and written out.
This goes for all chores, bills, who can be in the house and who cannot, how late friends can be over, parties in the home, Etc. Pets or no pets is just one item among many that two people wanting to move in together should be 100% in agreement with and not one person being forced to do it grudgingly.
As I was reading, my eyes kept getting wider and wider. Like “wtf??”
I hope you find someone extra special for yourself
Giving someone a back rub can be incredibly taxing and feel like another job. At this point in my life, my hands are killing me and I need all the energy I have to actually get everything else in my day done. This might be relaxing for you, but it sounds like it’s the complete opposite for her and you’re just adding on to whatever chores she has to do.
You probably have to get past the idea of starting your life with him. That’s on hold and you better be 100% sure it will resume because it’s year apart with questionable contact.
It would be probably better to break and have him contact you when he’s ready. It removes any worry or commitment.
That said; you need a plan with what’s going to occupy your time for a year. Since you are currently engaged, you will have to avoid romantic distractions. What will be your focuses? How will you get your social non romantic support? Figure it out.