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Date: October 23, 2022
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Negging is a tactic where guys say backhanded compliments or outright criticism to women they want to pick up so that their target will (supposedly) subconsciously seek their approval.
Homestly I find this so strange that you refer to them as “his niblings” vs “your niblings”. My sister has 4 kids and they're “our niblings” even if they're not related to him by blood
I wouldn't want to hang out with someone who talked shit about my partner. It would be totally unenjoyable to be around them. I would firmly express to them that if they didn't stop, then I would have to cut them off. If they continued, I'd stay true to my word.
I understand loyalty to a friend to a certain degree. But to me, when they start badmouthing my partner, they're the ones being disloyal. I know with 100% certainty that my partner would stand up for me and he knows the same. That's how it should be.
Like other commenters have said, this definitely warrants a serious sit-down discussion. Speak calmly and plainly about how her actions make you feel. Therapists are always talking about “I feel” statements. If she gets defensive, address it and ask why she doesn't defend you the same way. If she doesn't respond well, brushes you off, or apologizes but nothing changes, then you have to make some tough decisions. Don't speak your feelings and then watch her fall back into the same routine. Have a real, actionable solution ready. Don't leave it open-ended. Good luck!