11 thoughts on “Rachel-ass420 live! sex cams for YOU!”
This is a common communication issue that tends to arise when committed people try non-monogamy without communicating. He feels that you crossed a boundary whilst you didn’t realise there was one due to poor communication.
He can’t dictate when and on what terms you have sex with other people, as boundaries is something we can only set for ourselves – not other people. Remember that you are always in full control of yourself and your body. He can only make suggestions, he doesn’t get the final say on you and your body.
You’re not wrong for not wanting to have an emotional connection prior to sex, it’s common and perfectly normal. He’s not wrong for feeling hurt if it seems you’ve develop a deeper emotional bond with someone. But those are all things that should’ve been discussed PRIOR to any non monogamous engagement. And not in a “you are not allowed to feel deeper connection with someone” – it’s not fair to expect someone to simply not feel a particular way. Especially as it’s often unconscious, we can’t override the hormonal reactions that release through closeness, sex and orgasm. The conversation should have been “how do we lovingly get through this as a couple if one person develops a bond with another person”.
I think in this situation, if you two want to stay together, you need to stop all non-monogamous activity for now, have a therapist who is experienced in non-monogamy talk you through this entire situation and see exactly where the communication failed step by step. Then if you are willing to try non monogamy again do much much more research and have very extensive talks about your individual boundaries, feelings and expectations.
He is a pedophile. It may seem like he is now able to have a father son relationship because you no longer fit his preferences, do you realize how sick that is?
If he really wanted to make amends he would turn himself in to the police and willingly serve a sentence in prison, seek therapy, and register himself as being unable to be around children.
I mean I wasnt in the room when they discussed it now cam I read his mind to know his intent so i can't know either, but it's more than obvius op isn't ok with it and people are probably picking up on that which along with his reasoning for it (the whole oh I'm not trying to control you I'm just trying to protect you act is often used as a control tactic by abusers (which I'm nit necessarily saying op's boyfriend is) because it also positions them on a sort of high ground because he just loves you so very much and wants to keep you safe). Now add to that with the fact that abusive people have now coopted boundaries to be the same thing as giving rules in order to control them and you've got yourself whatever is going on in this comment section.
“four months together….around the time the honeymoon phase ends”
Oh, honey. You've never been in a relationship lasting even a full year, have you? I'd bet so. Four months is like full fledged honeymoon phase for most couples. Which is fine to not know yet, I mean you're only 19. But just so you know for the future, generally, if someone is telling you they're breaking up with you, you don't really get to argue much on it. Unless it's said like, mid-argument, usually there has been a fair bit of thought on it prior to sending the oh-so-cringey (just on principle..) breakup Snap. I feel for you there, really. What a shitty and cowardly way to dump someone. Four months at least deserves a fucking phone call ffs. On that alone I can already say you should not waste your time trying to get her back. She obviously is lacking in the maturity necessary for proper communication in a relationship.
Let it be. Respect her choice even if you don't agree with her reasons or logic. There are many ways to develop as a single person that are not as possible while in a relationship (and vice versa) so take this opportunity to focus on yourself and your own goals and empathetically reflecting on how you interact with other humans and they you. You'll be fine. Her too (though I hope for everyone's sake she never dumps anyone via Snapchat again that shits just low…)
And I pointed out that even if there was nothing about their future affected by it (that's the relevance), there are still some things most of us won't find ok.
People are telling you to tell his wife, and if you decide you want to, that's fine. But you mentioned being scared of making him mad, and I want to encourage you to trust your gut on matters of your personal safety. Because some people can get really nasty in these situations. Occasionally, they can get violent.
Many, many people who have been the victim of violence had a gut feeling of danger, but ignored it. This man sounds like he has been doing this for a while, so it's very likely that his wife already has a clue. Either way, your personal safety comes first, OK? Whatever you decide to do is fair.
It doesn’t really matter whether any of us reading this would stay in this relationship. All that matters is whether you want to. Your partner doesn’t care about making sure you’re having a good time. He’s selfish. Even after you’ve told him multiple times that you’re not enjoying the sex you have together, he’s still made no effort to increase your enjoyment. One of the very basic criteria for having sex is ‘try to make sure your partner is having a good time.’ He doesn’t fulfill the basic criteria. You deserve better. You deserve a partner who will actually care about your experience.
This is a common communication issue that tends to arise when committed people try non-monogamy without communicating. He feels that you crossed a boundary whilst you didn’t realise there was one due to poor communication.
He can’t dictate when and on what terms you have sex with other people, as boundaries is something we can only set for ourselves – not other people. Remember that you are always in full control of yourself and your body. He can only make suggestions, he doesn’t get the final say on you and your body.
You’re not wrong for not wanting to have an emotional connection prior to sex, it’s common and perfectly normal. He’s not wrong for feeling hurt if it seems you’ve develop a deeper emotional bond with someone. But those are all things that should’ve been discussed PRIOR to any non monogamous engagement. And not in a “you are not allowed to feel deeper connection with someone” – it’s not fair to expect someone to simply not feel a particular way. Especially as it’s often unconscious, we can’t override the hormonal reactions that release through closeness, sex and orgasm. The conversation should have been “how do we lovingly get through this as a couple if one person develops a bond with another person”.
I think in this situation, if you two want to stay together, you need to stop all non-monogamous activity for now, have a therapist who is experienced in non-monogamy talk you through this entire situation and see exactly where the communication failed step by step. Then if you are willing to try non monogamy again do much much more research and have very extensive talks about your individual boundaries, feelings and expectations.
He is a pedophile. It may seem like he is now able to have a father son relationship because you no longer fit his preferences, do you realize how sick that is?
If he really wanted to make amends he would turn himself in to the police and willingly serve a sentence in prison, seek therapy, and register himself as being unable to be around children.
Would you be wearing thongs or sexy lingerie on special occasions too?
I mean I wasnt in the room when they discussed it now cam I read his mind to know his intent so i can't know either, but it's more than obvius op isn't ok with it and people are probably picking up on that which along with his reasoning for it (the whole oh I'm not trying to control you I'm just trying to protect you act is often used as a control tactic by abusers (which I'm nit necessarily saying op's boyfriend is) because it also positions them on a sort of high ground because he just loves you so very much and wants to keep you safe). Now add to that with the fact that abusive people have now coopted boundaries to be the same thing as giving rules in order to control them and you've got yourself whatever is going on in this comment section.
Hopefully that makes sense.
No one man can last the length of five men. To feel inadequate would be stupid.
Omg you got me :(((((
“four months together….around the time the honeymoon phase ends”
Oh, honey. You've never been in a relationship lasting even a full year, have you? I'd bet so. Four months is like full fledged honeymoon phase for most couples. Which is fine to not know yet, I mean you're only 19. But just so you know for the future, generally, if someone is telling you they're breaking up with you, you don't really get to argue much on it. Unless it's said like, mid-argument, usually there has been a fair bit of thought on it prior to sending the oh-so-cringey (just on principle..) breakup Snap. I feel for you there, really. What a shitty and cowardly way to dump someone. Four months at least deserves a fucking phone call ffs. On that alone I can already say you should not waste your time trying to get her back. She obviously is lacking in the maturity necessary for proper communication in a relationship.
Let it be. Respect her choice even if you don't agree with her reasons or logic. There are many ways to develop as a single person that are not as possible while in a relationship (and vice versa) so take this opportunity to focus on yourself and your own goals and empathetically reflecting on how you interact with other humans and they you. You'll be fine. Her too (though I hope for everyone's sake she never dumps anyone via Snapchat again that shits just low…)
You honestly sound exhausting. Maybe you should leave him and let him marry someone who actually likes him.
And I pointed out that even if there was nothing about their future affected by it (that's the relevance), there are still some things most of us won't find ok.
People are telling you to tell his wife, and if you decide you want to, that's fine. But you mentioned being scared of making him mad, and I want to encourage you to trust your gut on matters of your personal safety. Because some people can get really nasty in these situations. Occasionally, they can get violent.
Many, many people who have been the victim of violence had a gut feeling of danger, but ignored it. This man sounds like he has been doing this for a while, so it's very likely that his wife already has a clue. Either way, your personal safety comes first, OK? Whatever you decide to do is fair.
It doesn’t really matter whether any of us reading this would stay in this relationship. All that matters is whether you want to. Your partner doesn’t care about making sure you’re having a good time. He’s selfish. Even after you’ve told him multiple times that you’re not enjoying the sex you have together, he’s still made no effort to increase your enjoyment. One of the very basic criteria for having sex is ‘try to make sure your partner is having a good time.’ He doesn’t fulfill the basic criteria. You deserve better. You deserve a partner who will actually care about your experience.