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Who's forcing you…?
Y'all are about to get serious, and she's put her cards on the table.
You're not comfortable with them, I wouldn't be either, so say your goodbyes and move on.
Cheating is CHEATING. It doesn't matter with who, that has nothing to do with the fact she went behind your back and had no boundaries or respect for your relationship. No coming back from that.
Depending on whether you want to give her a chance to change or not (which isn't likely, or at least won't be easy, if she's already at this stage) you need to make plans. Choose an evening where someone else can have your child and then address these concerns calmly and clearly with a specific aim.
Don't say you think she might be abusive, tell her that her behaviour is abusive and you won't tolerate it any more for yourself, in front of or towards your child. Tell her that regardless of gender, nobody should be saying or doing hurtful things and you're concerned and need to do something about it.
If you want to make it work, tell her she must do therapy, either alone or with you.
Let someone know that you'll contact them by a certain time and if they don't hear from you, tell them to turn up so you can leave with them if needs be.
It might be good for you all to take a few days apart so she can process what has been said and so she can see how serious this is.
If you know you want to leave, speak to a solicitor first and get plans in place.
I personally would leave her, but I give both options as I know it can be extremely difficult to break a trauma bond and that is usually what relationships become when either partner is abusive.
Good luck ?