U gotta decide for urself tho. Has he given u any reasons in the past to make u believe he's a bad partner? Or has he been perfect till this incident? If its a one time honest “heat in the moment” mistake, then u can consider how to move forward with this (if u wanna save the relationship). But if he's always been shady, etc, then he might not change. But the past is impt, to help u make ur decision based on this recent event.
Whatever label you want to put on it (cheating, flirting) doesn't matter. Ask yourself these questions:
If her husband read the texts or saw the in person touching, would he be hurt, angry, or upset with his wife? Would he start to distrust her? Would patterns of such behavior (innocent or not) start to erode the foundation of their marriage? Now ask same questions related to your wife.
Would you engage in this behavior in front of your wife? In front of your boss/colleagues? In front of your parents? In front of your children? Members of your church or other organization?
How would you feel if it were your wife and some other man?
He cheated on you, he already proved his loyalty is not with you so why are you continuing to be? Call that girl back, tell her he’s her problem now and she can visit him in the hospital and get out.
If he wants to try to mend things/clear the air he can reach out later but he doesn’t deserve you by his side when he clearly is not by yours.
Oh I totally agree with you. For one, I think I'm the one obsessed with sex and he's not. And this is something really hard for me to face because I'm not a person who gives up easily on relationships. But maybe you're right, we're not compatible, I am going to tell him how I feel and see if we can come to an agreement. I'm really thankful for your advice.
The taking non consensual photos of you part is not okay at all, but the looking at porn is normal and harmless. Every man on earth watches porn, whether he is getting laid 10 times a week or once a decade.
I don't have any problem with two consenting adults hooking up in general. In this specific case, if your sister was still seeing him, you should never have given him your number and you definitely shouldn't have slept with him.
Do you even love your sister? Because how she might feel seems never to have crossed your mind. You betrayed your sister deeply and I would be surprised if she ever speaks to you again.
When I bought my condo, the previous owner was a handyman/superintendent. I've never used his services in the 20+ years I've owned my place.
OTOH, 15 years ago I did get romantically involved with a contractor. And even though we've broken up numerous times (because he was a liar and cheater) I've actually maintained our friendship because, well, he owed me.
Still there were some things I got a handyman for.
Surely there is a rental market even though there’s a housing shortage. See if you can find a room to let with a stranger – or multiple strangers. You are completely miserable. You can add a lock to your bedroom door, but that’s your only possible defensive action. I’m guessing you’ve told grandma you’re not up for a chat but to no avail.
I think your only play is to move out, and your bf doesn’t have to come with you.
This isnt about trust, this is about control. And in any case relying on a single income is fucking stupid, because if that person loses their job then the entire family is royally fucked. Plus, why should you be the one to leave your job when you earn close to twice his salary?
Bruh thats fked up
U gotta decide for urself tho. Has he given u any reasons in the past to make u believe he's a bad partner? Or has he been perfect till this incident? If its a one time honest “heat in the moment” mistake, then u can consider how to move forward with this (if u wanna save the relationship). But if he's always been shady, etc, then he might not change. But the past is impt, to help u make ur decision based on this recent event.
Jump off a cliff
Whatever label you want to put on it (cheating, flirting) doesn't matter. Ask yourself these questions:
If her husband read the texts or saw the in person touching, would he be hurt, angry, or upset with his wife? Would he start to distrust her? Would patterns of such behavior (innocent or not) start to erode the foundation of their marriage? Now ask same questions related to your wife.
Would you engage in this behavior in front of your wife? In front of your boss/colleagues? In front of your parents? In front of your children? Members of your church or other organization?
How would you feel if it were your wife and some other man?
This was the rule in my parents house. Their house, their rules
Why aren’t you going also?
I don’t want the demand of having an actual job where hours are fixed but I have been thinking of volunteering. I’ll have a look into it
He cheated on you, he already proved his loyalty is not with you so why are you continuing to be? Call that girl back, tell her he’s her problem now and she can visit him in the hospital and get out.
If he wants to try to mend things/clear the air he can reach out later but he doesn’t deserve you by his side when he clearly is not by yours.
Oh I totally agree with you. For one, I think I'm the one obsessed with sex and he's not. And this is something really hard for me to face because I'm not a person who gives up easily on relationships. But maybe you're right, we're not compatible, I am going to tell him how I feel and see if we can come to an agreement. I'm really thankful for your advice.
Nah, don’t apologize. Here, let me join you. OP, YOU SHOULD DUMP HIM!! ???
The taking non consensual photos of you part is not okay at all, but the looking at porn is normal and harmless. Every man on earth watches porn, whether he is getting laid 10 times a week or once a decade.
I don't have any problem with two consenting adults hooking up in general. In this specific case, if your sister was still seeing him, you should never have given him your number and you definitely shouldn't have slept with him.
Do you even love your sister? Because how she might feel seems never to have crossed your mind. You betrayed your sister deeply and I would be surprised if she ever speaks to you again.
When I bought my condo, the previous owner was a handyman/superintendent. I've never used his services in the 20+ years I've owned my place.
OTOH, 15 years ago I did get romantically involved with a contractor. And even though we've broken up numerous times (because he was a liar and cheater) I've actually maintained our friendship because, well, he owed me.
Still there were some things I got a handyman for.
I might not be the best example.
Surely there is a rental market even though there’s a housing shortage. See if you can find a room to let with a stranger – or multiple strangers. You are completely miserable. You can add a lock to your bedroom door, but that’s your only possible defensive action. I’m guessing you’ve told grandma you’re not up for a chat but to no avail.
I think your only play is to move out, and your bf doesn’t have to come with you.
I am not able to view comments so please dm me if you feel any res flag or so.
Explain this to him.
You are both adults. Have an adult conversation about it.
This isnt about trust, this is about control. And in any case relying on a single income is fucking stupid, because if that person loses their job then the entire family is royally fucked. Plus, why should you be the one to leave your job when you earn close to twice his salary?
People can't even rent apartments with their money, let alone buy a house without a mortgage. I guess we'll all just be homeless?