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Roselina, y.o.
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Date: January 5, 2023
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If he's going to die I might just ignore it and move on after he dies.
the juice isn't worth the squeeze
*chefs kiss*
Whenever I see a situation like this I always jump to the person cheating. They get so paranoid about their cheating that they have to know your private business to make sure you’re not also cheating on them. Why else would he want to look through your phone but his is off limits. Long story short, something isn’t adding up.
He’s projecting.
Take that childish shit and hit the road.
Sounds like that movie bad moms but less PTA drama
This represents an escalation. While you both acknowledge things were thrown playfully in the past this time he chose to throw something at you with heft to make a point about… you putting socks back unfolded? D…did I read that right?
Well, it isn't about the socks, anyway. It is about control. He wanted you to act a certain way, you didn't, so even if 'playfully' he threw something at you. Note that making this point was so important to him he threw something with the potentially to hurt you, at least a little bit.
Abuse cycles are naked because often they are slow. It starts with playful throwing of objects or a playful push. Then it is throwing objects less playfully, or pushing when annoyed. Then it is throwing objects outright, or shoving outright.
And note this is after you discussed healthy ways of resolving arguments. This was absolutely the opposite of that. Despite taking a step forwards you may have actually taken a bigger one backwards in the process. Note that often the core of domestic abuse is 'you made me do this' and I suspect that he argued that before you browbeat an apology out of him. He doesn't really acknowledge this was a problem, right?
Be careful. This is the crossroads in your life. Your relationship, despite you caring a lot, was not healthy before this. That's why so much trouble arose over communication. But this is worse, this could be the start of the trend that destroys you. And reality is you are already starting to change how you think, you humour the idea that you not folding the socks might have vindicated his response. Already your sense of what is reasonable is warping.
Best way to proceed is to drop them both from your life and concentrate on your final year of school.
You have enough on your plate without being consumed by this soap opera.
You have several options: 1) ignore it and act like it didn’t happen 2) address it and explain that this was hurtful to you and would be to anyone of skin color other than the person who says it. Find a way to explain to them why it’s racist. 3) cut off your friendship and no longer speak to them There are likely other options or combinations of the above, but if you want to salvage the friendship, you could explain to them personal things that have happened to you and how hurtful it was. You could ask them why they feel skin color gives or detracts from someone’s worth as a person. My SIL is dark skinned and my brother is very light skinned. I honestly don’t care and live my nieces and nephews to pieces. Skin color should be a non issue in our day and age, but from talking to them, I realize it is not? I hope you can find a way to get through to this person, but I am in no way saying it’s your responsibility. Ypu may however be a person that could get through to them because you sound close, and they may or may not listen to you. Best wishes!
Does he know that you're insecure and actively working on it?