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Rosey, 26 y.o.
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Date: April 25, 2023
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Exactly! OP should just divorce his wife and if he feels “christian” about anything he can forgive her from a distance but gtfo.
Here’s my opinion based on a long time married with minimal financial arguments. It sounds more like a business arrangement than a relationship, so you should write a business plan and agree on the split. Then follow the agreement exactly. But don’t look at turning it into a relationship until you are ready to pool your money and treat it as family money to be used as needed while both must agree on large purchases.
I know some people keep finances separately but I think that makes it harder to commit to a real relationship, unless you cannot agree on your quality of life and how to finance it. But that is probably one of the things that should be sorted out before committing to a relationship so finances won’t add to the stress. People often have very different feelings about spending and saving so that needs to be discussed in detail. One wasteful spender and one safety net saver will really struggle in a relationship and that’s too much added stress in a basic personality or character trait.
As an old guy who is perhaps out of touch with modern “relationships”, I think marriage is absolutely vital to a real long term relationship as it’s the formal commitment that helps you bridge the difficult times in all relationships. Just my opinion.
Lol new here?
I don’t have any specific advice, I think other commenters have given some great words to use. I just want to validate that I don’t think you’re getting upset over nothing.
I am also married, and my husband texting another woman is 100% okay. Him hanging out with another woman is 100% okay. What’s NOT okay is hiding information or being misleading about it. The fact that your husband is lying about who is initiating conversation and acting as though he is being pursued instead of acknowledging that he is pursuing her is a red flag.
I obviously can’t say whether or not your husband is cheating. It certainly sounds like there’s nothing physical happening (at least not with this woman), but there could be some emotional cheating on his part, but it’s still impossible to tell from the outside. But it is definitely a red flag that he isn’t being completely honest with you. If he wasn’t doing anything wrong, he wouldn’t feel the need to hide anything.