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Date: October 20, 2022
I haven't read through all the comments, so if this has already been discussed, sorry!
PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) is a very real, very debilitating thing. There are heartbreaking stories of women blowing up their relationships because they were a raging crazy abusive partner one week a month. The good news is, for most of them, as soon as they get on meds and get the proper care they're able to control everything and lead a normal life again.
She needs to go to a doctor, she needs to be screened for PMDD and other mood disorders, and if she can find help and not wreak havoc on you anymore and you want to stay, you guys need to do some counseling to heal from the damage already done.
It’s worth remembering if your friend in on a stable dose of HIV medication there is zero chance of her passing it on to anyone. The virus becomes completely undetectable and non transmissible.
The coworker honestly sounds so toxic she’d probably dump you as soon as you accepted. If you break up with gf DO NOT DO IT bc this coworker broke you down.
This is so fucking very hot. I was sort of in a similar but opposite situation with my ex. She was cheating and pregnant with (I assumed at the time) our first kid. I found proof of her cheating, confronted her, but she was like 5 months pregnant. We went to therapy, things were fine for a year or two, she got pregnant again with our second and it was like a light switch flipped and she was treating me like shit. I assume she thought I was baby trapped or something. I got some good advice, that was basically “if you can’t be healthy mentally in this relationship you aren’t going to be a good parent, you owe it to your children to leave”. A few years later I met and married the love of my life. We’ve been married for 10 years now, and have 2 kids together in addition to her helping raise the bonus kids. A few years back my ex did the same thing and emailed my wife directly and accused me of cheating and said she had proof. You know what my wife did? Fucking laughed about it.
I know how hard it is to even contemplate raising a child as a single parent, I’m not gonna lie, the reality is even harder. I put my life on hold for years and focused on my kids, but I have an amazing partner who I trust and she trusts me, we’ve been through shit and I know her heart.
Your husband fucked up. It is up to him to repair the damage that he caused, he doesn’t get to demand you heal quicker. If he doesn’t recognize the damage he’s done to you, to your relationship, and to your unborn child, then frankly he doesn’t deserve you. I promise you divorce isn’t the end of the world, and I hope you pull through, but put yourself first and if your husband isn’t ok with that you walk.
Go to therapy, individually and together, but take the time you need to heal and you alone decide the timeline for that. Best of luck.
Nobody can tell you what you are “allowed” to do. If you don’t like this dynamic, don’t stay in it.
should I give her a month or two? put myself back on the market and wait (I dont like talking to multiple girls at once but…)?
Nah dont blame your anger with your wife being ill on the NHS. It also doesn't explain your utter disregard for your wife
My mom used to sing me the “little miss can't be wrong” song all the time as a kid because I was just like this. Still am. The key here is that you CAN in fact choose.
What's missing is social skills. You have to learn to read the room and keep your mouth shut sometimes, even if you know what they said is wrong. If it's an important topic or someone close to you who knows how you behave, you can approach them (better with a text honestly), with PROOF of correction. (“Hey I wanted to learn more about [that thing you were talking about earlier] so was looking live and I found this that says it's actually XYZ. Thought you might find it interesting :)”)
If you really must butt in right then and there, then you need have more tact and less confrontationality/bluntness. Like me you probably don't even think you're doing that but if enough people around you are saying the same thing then maybe YOU are the problem here.
Should have just said “oh my mistake, I'll go clean that up then”
I've never knows a coke addict that would let a line just get swept into the garbage
It sounds like a very nice thing to do. I don’t see how it could be considered narcissistic.
*Showing his face on his food blog is basically him craving for attention from other people*
Why~~~in the world, would you think he's craving attention from other people, Op?
According to you, he has THE attention of other people already, correct?
He is showing his face so people associate his face with his well received blog.
I see a Silhouette of Alfred Hitchcock and I automatically know who he was. Famous for his suspense and horror tv shows and movies.
I see a pic of Gordon Ramsey and recognize his as a reknown chef, restaurateur, and tv personality.
I suspect you are getting a little jealous (and angry) that you dropped out at the beginning. He continued without you and has managed to get recognition and success and you are …pissy?
Be happy and proud of him, Op.
*Showing his face on his food blog is basically him craving for attention from other people*
Why~~~in the world, would you think he's craving attention from other people, Op?
According to you, he has THE attention of other people already, correct?
He is showing his face so people associate his face with his well received blog.
I see a Silhouette of Alfred Hitchcock and I automatically know who he was. Famous for his suspense and horror tv shows and movies.
I see a pic of Gordon Ramsey and recognize his as a reknown chef, restaurateur, and tv personality.
I suspect you are getting a little jealous (and angry) that you dropped out at the beginning. He continued without you and has managed to get recognition and success and you are …pissy?
Be happy and proud of him, Op.
His yelling?
Please don’t do this. It’s fraudulent
Drop this shit, honestly. It'll never work, you're young and have so much to look forward to that ain't this.
You're definitely right. I'm not even sure what I am hoping for. I think I want her to get help but I know that has to be her decision and I can't impose that one her. In terms of my boundaries, I do want to try for sure. I will take your advice and try to gauge these things a bit better.
Eh i do find her a little sus for being so vague and then leaving after dumping this all on OP.
Who owns the place you are living in?
Well good for you OP. And on the upside. If your wife/gf/SO suspects any different, she’ll probably save you going to the trouble of self-surgery. Good luck.
Nope it is too long for LDR. Even if you choose your bf now it will only delay the inevitable.
What can be done?
You break up and find someone you actually like to date. This is the whole point of dating, getting to know the other person. Well, you got to know him and you don't like him. Move on.