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Legal advise on reddit?? Bud stop making bad decisions and talk to a lawyer
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You could take out a restraining order or you could sue him for defamation.
I don't see any other legal remedies for his behavior. Of course you could also just ignore it, on the theory that taking any action at all just feeds the troll.
He's not blaming her.
He's not blaming her.
He's not blaming her.
I said it three times.
Are we good?
Hypothetical situation. Had the OP written an entirely different post wherein he lamented about actually catching his girlfriend having sex with another man…
Answer me this… would you find him claiming to experience feelings of disgust from being cheated on to be an appropriate set of feelings?
Probably that would be ok… Right?
My whole point is that the portion of the human brain (not needing to bring gender into it) that mediates feelings of disgust can't distinguish between an actual on-line occurrence happening in real time before one's eyes and a recorded video file. It can't distinguish between these different circumstance because even the possibility of a video file is a completely new phenomenon.
Both generate feelings of disgust. In one circumstance, those feelings are warranted. In the next circumstance, they are not.
If he felt justified in feeling disgust, he'd act in alignment with those feelings and just break the relationship.
The problem is that he has feelings that he knows are not justified, yet he still experiences those feelings.
Its like he periodically has the urge to leave a burning building even though as he looks around, he sees that there is no fire from which to flee.
His feelings are quite real even though in the current circumstances, they are supremely unhelpful for him.
Just because his feelings lack utility does not lessen the distress he feels in experiencing them.
I really don't understand why it is necessary or helpful to try to paint OP as a villain here.
The thing is, we don’t know which of those is it. We are all assuming, based on our personal experience and how we think we would deal with the problem. Maybe it was her first time liking someone outside of her relationship and she panicked. The first time it happened to me I panicked. Now I would probably say to my husband something along the lines of “honey, I feel attracted to a coworker, maybe I need to sleep more”.
Or maybe other people are right, and in reality she left her feelings unchecked for too long. I’m just offering my perspective, based on my experience and taking what OP said at face value.
Married your backup plan, your husband who you describe as almost perfect and a great guy. The guy you actually wanted a long time ago got wasted and professed his love for you, now you've realized you don't wanna be with your husband.
I feel bad for the husband. Doesn't even matter if he's been a great partner for years, it just takes an old crush to come back around and now you want this other guy. It's a pretty voluntary action to keep in touch with this guy and cozy up with his family. Maybe just divorce and crush your husband's spirit now instead of later down the road since that's where things will end up if you don't give yourself better boundaries
Sounds like you’re not comfortable with an open relationship.
“hey honey, I don’t think I’m OK having an open relationship can we reevaluate? “
Please talk to her mother, get her comitted and RUN
Why did you bother posting this? Just break up with her. Are you expecting us to tell you not to break up with her?
I mean sure your rules are stupid, but you were also very clear about them. She doesn't respect your stupid arbitrary rules so break up with her. I'm sure there are plenty of women who would love to date a man who polices their porn habits.
No. Do not pressure them to be friends with you, now or later. If they want to see you, they will reach out themselves. But you initiated the breakup, and your ex needs her family much more than you do.