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  1. Yes, I will never date someone who has children despite having them myself. Several reasons really. I don’t want more children, I don’t want to deal with the coparenting of my partner and their ex, and I know exactly how a lot of people are with their children’s other parent (my own situation included), among many more.

  2. Hello /u/weightsnotcardio,

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  3. Seems like an odd thing to be hung up on. Sometimes its best to let sleeping dogs lie with stuff like this. If you were not exclusive i don’t see why there is any issue.

  4. That could of killed you. His indifference is beyond the pale. He literally was okay with you dying.

    When he found out what it was he should have been apologizing profusely and slept on the hospital floor to make it up to you. Instead he did the opposite.

  5. Part of our job as parents is to demonstrate healthy relationships for our kids to model. Even if you guys aren’t fighting in front of them, they pick up on the tension. That can make kids more prone to anxiety disorders and depression. This doesn’t sound like a healthy environment for the kids.

    If you’re in the US, United Way 211 could refer you to local services for legal, mental health, domestic abuse, etc. They may also be able to help with job placement.

    Obviously, your lack of income isn’t the only issue here. Not sure how you’d work a job if you are caregiver to her dad and the kids. If it weren’t for that I’d ask why you’re not out taking any job you can.

    But this doesn’t sound like a good situation for anyone.

  6. So she ignores your boundaries, kept pushing until you broke down and is now acting like you're somehow in the wrong.

    You need a new girlfriend dude, this one's a piece of shit.

  7. I didn’t set out to lie. The first time he brought it up I was caught off guard. Since then it’s become more and more of a fixation of his and I’m scared of how he’d react if I told the truth now.

  8. She’s more than welcome to flirt with whomever she wants, especially since she’s recently single

    cough

  9. Ultimatums to get married are a bad idea, because if you do get married, you'll never know if it's because they actually wanted to marry you or if it's because they were given an ultimatum. If he wanted to marry her, he would have proposed. Money is not object for him, so that's not a reason. He just doesn't want to get married at all or to OP.

  10. Lawyer here (not your lawyer): I’m really, really sorry. You need to start taking steps to protect yourself. I’d suggest you call your doctor’s office and get a referral to a good shrink – even very stable people can start having very dark thoughts when they are betrayed and their family is broken. It’s evolution – leaving the tribe meant likely death from starvation or from violence from another tribe. It feels like the end of the world. Again, I’m sorry. There is life after divorce – I’m happily divorced myself.

    First things first, your kids need to know that everything will be ok and that you love them. This is priority #1.

    Next, get yourself a good family lawyer (sell a car, get a loan, use a credit card, whatever. It’s very very important you do this soon). He or she will handle the heavy lifting, just do whatever they say.

    In consultation with your lawyer, you should consider paternity tests for the kids. You can still love them and be with them as their father even if the test is negative – but it can result in an extra check every month from Romeo (if the guy is findable). Again, the lawyer can help with this.

    Also, do not sleep with your almost-ex. Hysterical bonding is a real thing, and she could manipulate you or baby-trap you.

    Finally – get some exercise! It’s free dopamine, which you need lots of.

    Good luck friend.

  11. So many red flags here, doesn’t have any custody of the kid, bad relationship with his co-parent,, too broke to go on a date. Why would you want to start a relationship with a person clearly in crisis? Do you think he has the emotional bandwidth to date while he figures his shit out, I don’t.

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