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SexWifeSex, 42 y.o.
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Date: October 10, 2022
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I need someone else’s opinion because idk what to do but I understand what your saying
It honestly sounds like she just cheated(light flirting, went to his room, actually did the deed). She could've shut him up by literally just going to her room and not having to hear from him, but that's just what I think and we don't have every single detail.
She didn't have to flirt. She didn't have to go to his room. She could've continuously said no and went to her room, then report him for making her feel uncomfortable. She didn't have to engage with him at all, she chose to do so.
Obviously, she could've been sexually assaulted and she's too afraid to mention it for variety of reasons and if that's the case, then this changes everything.
Swear to god there should be just be some sort of bot on here that files divorce papers if you ask a question about your marriage to someone 10+ years older than you.
Never let a man hide you from his friends or his family. That's no way to online. Tell him you are not going to keep this a secret and if he can't tolerate that, you're through.
From what you have said, I think he may have (or hope to have) something going on with Aby.
Anyway, it's not implausible that the circle of friends all share info with each other and the relevant people already know.
They say there are five different love languages. Words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
Every person has one or two of these that describes things they do (or want done to them) to express fondness for people they deeply care about.
I don’t know what her love language is, but she’s certainly not giving you words of affirmation or quality time.
A successful couple don’t need to have compatible love languages. But what they do need is to understand and accommodate each other’s needs, as best as they can.
For example, my natural way of showing love is acts of service. But my wife’s natural love language is physical touch.
She would rather me hug her, when I would rather prepare her a cup of tea or something.
I’m the end, we have to do both. I have to remind myself to hug her – as that’s what she needs. And she has to remind herself that me making her a cup is necessary for me.
People saying “this is who I am” – it’s a cop out. It’s a great starting point, but you’re not going to be the same person in 6 months or in 6 years. People grow, they learn and they change their approach.
So I say, have a serious conversation about needs. At 4 months, these are the kinds of things you ought to be learning about. Ask her, “what makes you happy I’m a relationship?”. And then share what’s makes you happy. And then ask them ourselves “how can we support each other to bring out the best of this relationship?”
You will each have to compromise and put in the effort. Hopefully she recognizes that’s a good relationship is an investment – one that can pay off the more put into it.
Make a mental note of how much time you’re willing to to give this. Another 3 weeks? If neither of you is capable of giving each what you each need – you can’t expect it to work.
Thanks a lot for your words ! That touched me
She didn't destroy it out of spite, she destroyed it because it was her property and right to do so.
Except its everything to do with me. He’s in a relationship with me and his ex got into contact with him???