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Date: October 29, 2022

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  1. You are a completely worthless parent. Your son is also an “actual person with feelings,” since you seem to be forgetting that part. Enabling your husband's abuse like this makes you just as abusive.

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  3. You both should listen to each other’s opinions, feelings and needs, but that means when in conflict, each person’s feelings should be treated as just as important, not more than, not less than, but just as important. So one side shares their perspective, receives validation, then the other side shares and gets the same. After that, solutions that work for both are explored and then implemented. You want a partner and want to be a partner that looks for win/win solutions, not one who looks to win at the others expense.

    You know, there are days when you come home from work and all you want is silently sit on the couch looking to a blank wall for a while or play a game or two to relax a bit. Yet she expects me to come home all smiled up

    This just sounds like you’re an introvert and she’s an extrovert, her again it’s about finding solutions and compromises you both can on-line with, not one person being right the other wrong.

    She always finds a scapegoat (in my eyes).

    That one’s more problematic. Sometimes though people are raised to communicate frustration via blame, so maybe ask her instead of blaming, to say she’s frustrated and ask for help. If she’s willing to work on that, and you’re willing to validate and empathize with her frustration that habit can change. But if she’s always blaming others, sooner or later that habit will be used against you and that’s a huge red flag and not someone you want in your life.

  4. Talk to landlord and be like “he complained but you never said anything to me. Why am I getting punished for his complains that you never asked me about? his radio is blaring for no reason other than to cause problems and I'm being more than reasonable. Help me understand what's wrong and lets fix this.”

    Otherwise? Can you break out of your lease? Or what restrictions are there on moving?

    What can you do? have sex all day, every day until he stops being a jerk.

    If it fails? Well… at least you're having sex. Loudly.

    There comes a point where being reasonable doesn't work… you have to resort to being unreasonable. At the very least? I'd stop trying to be quiet until he starts being reasonable.

  5. Actually the other way round — if he gets it, then he's gonna reference that in future as “the best time in our relationship”, and he will guilt-trip OP into thinking she's a bad girlfriend.

    OP, please leave that guy, he just told you what he wants from you and this doesn't include you being a person with your own feelings and boundaries. Like, he wants himself to be the center of your life no matter what, giving nothing in return. And you are not allowed to complain.

  6. Yep, he got comfortable. He let his true self out. Recommendation- move on. You got married way too young anyways. Like your brain doesn’t even stop growing till you’re 25. Go out have fun. There are better fish in the sea.

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