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ShaggyTopple, 30 y.o.
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Date: October 11, 2022
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Okay, look- if your affair was 5 years, you understand that means your wife navigated her entire pregnancy, delivery, postpartum, and the very difficult first weeks/months/years of raising a baby into a now-4-year-old with a partner who was only partially present?
Think about it- every night/hour/whatever you snuck off to kindle this affair with this woman was a night or hour your wife left alone to deal with an uncomfortable pregnant body, or a painful postpartum body, or a crying baby (while she herself was running on too-little sleep). I mean really look back and think about it. Frankly it doesn't matter that much whether you loved the other woman or not- affairs take time and energy to maintain (especially for five years). Your wife was entitled to all of that time you spent on the other woman and all of the (I hope) help, love, and support that would have come with it, but she didn't get it.
I think right now you think that the only problem is that she feels hurt that you had sex with another woman and is just being resentful, and if you can just get her to forgive that she'll be okay with having another baby with you. I have no idea how you can convince her to carry this pregnancy to term, and I don't know that you can, but I can definitely tell you that until you can understand and acknowledge that you betrayed her and your young family well beyond just some quick, meaningless sex, you'll have a difficult time convincing her that she should bother.
Yta.
While you may have a preference for how she communicates with you, and I agree verbal is typically best, your wife has two known reasons that if alone would make it difficult. If your language is not her native language, that will make verbal discussion while upset particularly difficult. If she has a speech impediment that too would make writing her feelings out easier and better on her. You blocked her as part of a power move in an argument you were ? wrong in. Your wife had a vision for your baby’s nursery – her kid too, not just yours and you made a decision against that without any consultation with her at the direction of your mother.
The base situation Yta and how you handled it by blocking her Yta.
If you truly mean what you said at the end, pull up your big boy britches and apologize for both
this week he came to my home in tears, clutching a folder filled with visibly crumpled papers.
He's not sorry he did it. He's sorry about the consequences.
his college friends hooked him up with multiple “workers”.
No one forced him. He's shirking responsibility for his own actions by blaming everyone else. And I doubt the events even transpired the way he claims.
He then got angry, shouting and crying saying how I'm going to rip his family apart before it's even started because I refuse to let him have any fun.
He's not in high school or college anymore with no responsibilities for anyone else, but he doesn't seem to want to grow up.
I'm sorry, but your son is a selfish, arrogant, immature asshole who is now reaping multiple consequences for his actions. I highly suggest you give him a deadline for him tell his wife about what happened or you do, and stick to it. He's made his bed, now he has to lie in it.
The news will destroy your family and probably crush your daughter-in-law into powder. But those are the consequences of your son's actions. He made his choice, and no matter what, it's gonna do a lot of damage. A car bomb doesn't just destroy a car. It destroys everything on the block. And that's just a fact of life.
I'm sorry you have to go through this, but I suggest you give your daughter-in-law the help she needs to transition to life as a single mother, including helping her get full custody of their children when they're born. Your son doesn't have the willingness, mindset, or strength of character to be a good role model for his children. You can't afford his children to grow up to be overgrown, no-account frat boys like their father.
I’d say the fact that she was willing to do suck a male strippers nipple for a free shot when she knows about your past is disrespectful enough to end it. Drinking shouldn’t really be used as an excuse if she was coherent enough to call you and tell you about it.
He’s already in emotional affair territory, now he’s basically telling you he’s going with some chic he met on-line on a weekend trip that he can’t afford to take with you?! What in the fuck. You need to grow a backbone and throw him out. None of this is ok. Like others said, how would be act if you were shacking up in the city with some dude you met online.
Basically my face is in his taint with the prostate right there