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sheila, 18 y.o.
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Date: October 20, 2022
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Why would they share it on the group chat that she was in, if they were excluding her? Personally, I just think that was shady/rude or whatever you want to call it. I agree with the part that college friends ain't that deep. I know you cant include everyone in a wedding either, but didn't OP say she was flying out to help plan a surprise engagement party? In my opinion, she shouldn't put that much energy in if she isnt viewed as an equal. Even if she was the odd gal out she could have been told something at the very least. The way she found out wasnt a very nice way. They also left her on read when she enquired about it…
Girl; he doesn’t want you, only comes around when he’s bored. Stop chasing. Block delete and move on.
Your bf is a moron. Don’t put up with this shit. Men and women can be friends but this kind of sketchy behavior is what makes it so difficult for the other person in the relationship. I am convinced that some people, men and women have no way to tell when they are attracted to someone and have no idea how to check themselves. He needs to check himself. If he doesn’t profusely apologize and modify his behavior. I would yeet myself out of there.
So he cheated on you when he got his first job. If this happened to your friend or family member would you be telling them to stay and allow this person a one sided open relationship when they have spent years financially supporting them? What would you tell them to do ?
I know you said you encouraged him to support his dreams but from your post you seem like your not very confrontational and you convince yourself that things are better than they are because in you have been conditioned to think “we what else can I do/ where else’s can I go/ but what about how they feel / what about their struggles/ was it really that bad?”
Write a list of everything you can think that he did in those three years to support you while you supported the both of you. Did he take on more chores than you? Did he cook more than you? Did he try to spend more time with you outside of the bedroom? Was he present and active in conversations? Or did he alway want things his way. ?
You think revenge will make you feel better, but it won’t. It’s like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.
So go find that guy.. this one isn’t it.
Again today I must ask, how old are you people? List of guys she slept with? This is some childish nonsense.
If you broke up for a good reason, it might be best to just leave it unless you think there's a chance she has changed.
The other problem is, you are no longer in the same country, do you want a long distance relationship?
I don’t know that counseling would help. He’s always been money motivated. I’ve tried to explain that quality time isn’t sleeping next to one another or eating dinner together (As it’s a normal task we do daily) but he thinks it is. I feel like counseling would be a waste because he refuses to listen to reason.