LOVE that my guy is strong enough to toss me around and LOVE that he only does so in ways Iām ok with.
OP, your bf respected your ānoā and that is a green flag! Maybe play with your strength differences in fun things like dancing instead, and itāll be a source of attraction instead ofā¦..idk, fear maybe? Cause it can definitely be intimidating, but channeled the right wayā¦..whewš
Dealbreaker if it was me. Easy to say this as Iām not invested and I know how my heart works. Iāve put up with less. Iām sorry this has happened. Forget the honesty, itās more about how youāre literally just the next best thing. It sounds horrible to put it like that but thatās what heās saying when he says that. Fuck him. I hope heās not also manipulating cause thatās some narcissistic behavior almost- to be able to lack so much self awareness to bring that up- the plus is at least you know now.
Fuck that dude, I think you deserve much better and his selfish behavior will only cause problems in the future. This wonāt be something thatās easy to overcome. I wouldnāt ever forget it throughout the length of the relationship unless he made some real changes and showed me Iām the apple of his eye not his fucking ex.
Tell her No. For one thing, this is exactly why there are affordable hotels near airports.
Also, keep in mind she is not asking YOU for a favor – she is asking your parents. It's their home, and if she wants a favor from them, she can ask them directly. If she does ask, she also offers to strip and wash the sheets, maybe cook everyone breakfast (and clean up) the next day – something to show her appreciation.
Regardless, this is a big ask and personally I wouldn't impose this kind of inconvenience on anyone.
Your girlfriend sounds (from your other comments as well) a bit entitled and pushy.
Well this went 0 to 60 real fast in a lot of ways.
He let an engaged woman openly flirt with him in front of your for hours He still gave her his number??? (wtf) He lied about his “body count” (the # isn't the issue, the deception is) He promised he wouldn't text her, then broke your trust, and didn't fess up on his own. (Okay buckle up, because that was all enough reason to justify breaking up with him imo but this is where it goes from “yeah he's a jerk” to “wait, WHAT?” He makes racist jokes. He clings to misogynistic traditions. He..and I can't believe I'm typing this.. makes sexist jokes with a known rapist?????
Um.
I beg your pardon dear, but…
Why in the world are you with this guy in the first place??
I think this is therapy territory now or things will get worse as time goes on. He is acting from a place of avoidance and fear. He clearly has trauma and it is affecting his decision making process. I come from neglectful and abusive home so I understand how these things impact us as we move through life.
Stick to your guns. I gave up my job when I got married and had our first. 17 years on I am single after a very abusive relationship, have been unemployed all this time and in intensive therapy. I wish I had not given up my autonomy and dreams. I am clawing my way back but it is damn very hot.
I agree it sounds like she settled for him bc she wanted stability. Not healthy.
But why shouldnāt she resent him for parenting this way? Just ābarrelingā through or forcing things, and being emotionally unavailable to their kids? Thatās not just āfatherā stuff imo. He needs to try a bit harder.
And on top of the bad hygiene, it also sounds like heās not very emotionally available to her. This isnāt necessarily insta-breakup territory, but definitely needs to be addressed.
Sounds more to me like she settled for him bc stability, but now is realizing what he lacks and expects more. Just bc heās better than her previous partners doesnāt mean heās without flaws or that she canāt have expectations for him.
i see what you mean
well both of us have plenty of experience with therapy
but i don't think we have adressed these specific issues, nor have we done therapy together
i don't think it would be an option for her to go to couple's therapy, but i might suggest it
thanks a lot for your time š
Exactly! When they act as decoys they maje it clear they are a certain age, or else they would have no case if they claimed to be an adult.
LOVE that my guy is strong enough to toss me around and LOVE that he only does so in ways Iām ok with.
OP, your bf respected your ānoā and that is a green flag! Maybe play with your strength differences in fun things like dancing instead, and itāll be a source of attraction instead ofā¦..idk, fear maybe? Cause it can definitely be intimidating, but channeled the right wayā¦..whewš
Ight thanks buddy š
It definitely is.
I hope i can find that one day thanks so much ā¤ļø
Dealbreaker if it was me. Easy to say this as Iām not invested and I know how my heart works. Iāve put up with less. Iām sorry this has happened. Forget the honesty, itās more about how youāre literally just the next best thing. It sounds horrible to put it like that but thatās what heās saying when he says that. Fuck him. I hope heās not also manipulating cause thatās some narcissistic behavior almost- to be able to lack so much self awareness to bring that up- the plus is at least you know now.
Fuck that dude, I think you deserve much better and his selfish behavior will only cause problems in the future. This wonāt be something thatās easy to overcome. I wouldnāt ever forget it throughout the length of the relationship unless he made some real changes and showed me Iām the apple of his eye not his fucking ex.
Tell her No. For one thing, this is exactly why there are affordable hotels near airports.
Also, keep in mind she is not asking YOU for a favor – she is asking your parents. It's their home, and if she wants a favor from them, she can ask them directly. If she does ask, she also offers to strip and wash the sheets, maybe cook everyone breakfast (and clean up) the next day – something to show her appreciation.
Regardless, this is a big ask and personally I wouldn't impose this kind of inconvenience on anyone.
Your girlfriend sounds (from your other comments as well) a bit entitled and pushy.
Strap-ons are like 30 bucks. You can give him a prostate orgasm if you really want to.
Well this went 0 to 60 real fast in a lot of ways.
He let an engaged woman openly flirt with him in front of your for hours He still gave her his number??? (wtf) He lied about his “body count” (the # isn't the issue, the deception is) He promised he wouldn't text her, then broke your trust, and didn't fess up on his own. (Okay buckle up, because that was all enough reason to justify breaking up with him imo but this is where it goes from “yeah he's a jerk” to “wait, WHAT?” He makes racist jokes. He clings to misogynistic traditions. He..and I can't believe I'm typing this.. makes sexist jokes with a known rapist?????
Um.
I beg your pardon dear, but…
Why in the world are you with this guy in the first place??
I agree that this sounds oddly obsessive of him
I think this is therapy territory now or things will get worse as time goes on. He is acting from a place of avoidance and fear. He clearly has trauma and it is affecting his decision making process. I come from neglectful and abusive home so I understand how these things impact us as we move through life.
Stick to your guns. I gave up my job when I got married and had our first. 17 years on I am single after a very abusive relationship, have been unemployed all this time and in intensive therapy. I wish I had not given up my autonomy and dreams. I am clawing my way back but it is damn very hot.
Iām so pissed at my parents for not planning accordingly.
I agree it sounds like she settled for him bc she wanted stability. Not healthy.
But why shouldnāt she resent him for parenting this way? Just ābarrelingā through or forcing things, and being emotionally unavailable to their kids? Thatās not just āfatherā stuff imo. He needs to try a bit harder.
And on top of the bad hygiene, it also sounds like heās not very emotionally available to her. This isnāt necessarily insta-breakup territory, but definitely needs to be addressed.
Sounds more to me like she settled for him bc stability, but now is realizing what he lacks and expects more. Just bc heās better than her previous partners doesnāt mean heās without flaws or that she canāt have expectations for him.