14 thoughts on “Simone-lovelace live! sex chats for YOU!”
my thoughts are do not marry this woman until she learns to be more independent cuz once you're married it's much harder to get out of the relationship.
I was in a toxic relationship before this, we both were toxic against each other, i left because i realised i was in a such unhealthy relationship and im trying to change and its as if the relationship was so shitty i want the absolute opposite
Update: no advice needed, they're over me haha. I mean I knew again but tried and failed embarrassingly. And again I'm not even sure we're friends. So there goes another ruined relationship.
You both are now on different paths. To stay on a path ( his path) will be a disservice to both of you and may cause the both of you to come to not like each other. Maybe in the future your paths will recombine
So if your kids get sick you'll say “tough cookies – you didn't pay into the emergency fund”?
You can't say “our as in my wife and I” when you're covering the kids. And only the kids in what you consider your current family.
And again – it is normal for families to cover other adults in their families in the emergency fund. I would cover my brother in a heartbeat even though he's nearing 30. He would help me. I'd help my parents if they needed it. They'd help me even though I'm in my mid-30s.
You don't consider your daughter part of your family anymore. You're talking about only covering your family which doesn't include her. So she's right, you did make a new family.
she chose not to
So you've seen her budget? It was extremely hot to save up my emergency fund when I was her age and that was a decade ago. Rent wasn't anywhere as bad as now. Sure you help her but that was because of your home life being unbearable at her young age.
So please inform us what she chose over the emergency fund. Most people can't afford to save it especially at her age.
So I mean, have you tried unpacking the trauma with them, or you know, a therapist. One way or another that life experience is gonna manifest in some coping mechanisms, it’s up to you what they are and how they show up.
It sounds like you’re proud to be a “mommas boy” in the sense that you respect her memory and feel a connection with her through your experiences. It seem like you learned a lot about yourself through defending and fighting for her. The way you showed up for your mom taught you that you were capable, caring, and compassionate. So the question is, what does this phrase mean to your partner?
I know all to well that I can take things personally when there is trauma wrapped up in it. And it’s very hot for others to understand my feelings and reactions when I don’t communicate the trauma that’s wrapped up in the matter.
So either your partner understands and is trying to be playful and say it in a good light, or they truly don’t understand the depth and are confused because they don’t know why it would be a problem. This is naked, especially for people who don’t have trauma to gauge. Either way it is totally fair to set up boundaries around this if you’re not comfortable.
I see her doing that bright as day. I’ve called her out on it.
This is just me taking my time, gathering information, feedback and opinions from you lovely strangers and making a well informed decision without rushing into anything over emotionally.
Perhaps some think I should brutally cut ties but that’s not my style. I’ll be kind to the very end and set an example with my behaviour that I can live with.
Gathering from your post, my assumption is that your BF studied with a girl and you're not taking it too fondly. You feel like it crosses boundaries and others think otherwise.
Is that accurate?
Really, you're allowed to set whatever boundaries you want. However, its up to the other person if they want to uphold them. If those boundaries are crossed and you choose to stay in that relationship, you've become the one at fault.
My rule of thumb is: If you have to hide something from me, then you probably shouldn't be doing it.
Beyond that, I find that delivering a whole list of can and can not's, is exhausting to deal with and changes the relationship from romance into maintenance.
My partner gets my undivided trust until she gives me reasons to doubt.
I'd rather have my relationship structured where you're free to do whatever you want. I'll just pay attention and decide if your natural behaviour is what I am looking for. Uncontrolled, no restrictions, in sync, a natural fit.
Also, after spending a lot of time on this subreddit, I have found some people mask controlling behavior and label it as a boundary. Then they puff their chest like they're in the right:
My boundary is that I expect my GF to be home by 8 every night, call me on the hour, respect what I say, have location services on, impromptu phone checks, delete males of social media.
I get to set these because boundaries are considered “healthy”.
Those aren't boundaries… that's control.
So, arriving at that conclusion. I think its more appropriate to set boundaries on yourself, and then decide if the way your partner acts naturally is what you're looking for.
When I think about it, I don't even think the word boundary popped into conversation once in my current 5 year. Everything was a natural fit and be both exist freely. If you need to change your partner, should you even be with them?
Yeah, this is confusing to me. I think she just finds him unattractive. It sounds like he isn't super into her interests anymore, and that sucks. But I can't help but feel that maybe there's been reactions to his interests or being asked to participate in them that were perhaps less than kind from OP. Not a relationship that needs to exist.
He’s a 20 year old boy. Being fickle comes with the territory and he doesn’t really have any experience with relationships to know what the right thing to do is.
You don't know what triggered him really, you started out joking with a lose lose choice about music, he continued the joke, and then you literally implied he was a pedo, the joke went from music to serious character damaging, it's never cool or funny to joke about your husband who your soposed to love then imply hes a pedo. Obviously mommy being stupid is pretty abusive and over the top but at least you know why now, because you hadn't considered that point though, which is wild to me, but you say your sorry, but don't know why your sorry, you don't realise what you implied.
my thoughts are do not marry this woman until she learns to be more independent cuz once you're married it's much harder to get out of the relationship.
I was in a toxic relationship before this, we both were toxic against each other, i left because i realised i was in a such unhealthy relationship and im trying to change and its as if the relationship was so shitty i want the absolute opposite
Update: no advice needed, they're over me haha. I mean I knew again but tried and failed embarrassingly. And again I'm not even sure we're friends. So there goes another ruined relationship.
Yes, that’s why I said “…so damn hard”.
You both are now on different paths. To stay on a path ( his path) will be a disservice to both of you and may cause the both of you to come to not like each other. Maybe in the future your paths will recombine
There's only 14 3-starred restaurants in the USA and I've been to over a third of them, and plan to make it to all before I die…. But ok
So if your kids get sick you'll say “tough cookies – you didn't pay into the emergency fund”?
You can't say “our as in my wife and I” when you're covering the kids. And only the kids in what you consider your current family.
And again – it is normal for families to cover other adults in their families in the emergency fund. I would cover my brother in a heartbeat even though he's nearing 30. He would help me. I'd help my parents if they needed it. They'd help me even though I'm in my mid-30s.
You don't consider your daughter part of your family anymore. You're talking about only covering your family which doesn't include her. So she's right, you did make a new family.
she chose not to
So you've seen her budget? It was extremely hot to save up my emergency fund when I was her age and that was a decade ago. Rent wasn't anywhere as bad as now. Sure you help her but that was because of your home life being unbearable at her young age.
So please inform us what she chose over the emergency fund. Most people can't afford to save it especially at her age.
So I mean, have you tried unpacking the trauma with them, or you know, a therapist. One way or another that life experience is gonna manifest in some coping mechanisms, it’s up to you what they are and how they show up.
It sounds like you’re proud to be a “mommas boy” in the sense that you respect her memory and feel a connection with her through your experiences. It seem like you learned a lot about yourself through defending and fighting for her. The way you showed up for your mom taught you that you were capable, caring, and compassionate. So the question is, what does this phrase mean to your partner?
I know all to well that I can take things personally when there is trauma wrapped up in it. And it’s very hot for others to understand my feelings and reactions when I don’t communicate the trauma that’s wrapped up in the matter.
So either your partner understands and is trying to be playful and say it in a good light, or they truly don’t understand the depth and are confused because they don’t know why it would be a problem. This is naked, especially for people who don’t have trauma to gauge. Either way it is totally fair to set up boundaries around this if you’re not comfortable.
I see her doing that bright as day. I’ve called her out on it.
This is just me taking my time, gathering information, feedback and opinions from you lovely strangers and making a well informed decision without rushing into anything over emotionally.
Perhaps some think I should brutally cut ties but that’s not my style. I’ll be kind to the very end and set an example with my behaviour that I can live with.
Gathering from your post, my assumption is that your BF studied with a girl and you're not taking it too fondly. You feel like it crosses boundaries and others think otherwise.
Is that accurate?
Really, you're allowed to set whatever boundaries you want. However, its up to the other person if they want to uphold them. If those boundaries are crossed and you choose to stay in that relationship, you've become the one at fault.
My rule of thumb is: If you have to hide something from me, then you probably shouldn't be doing it.
Beyond that, I find that delivering a whole list of can and can not's, is exhausting to deal with and changes the relationship from romance into maintenance.
My partner gets my undivided trust until she gives me reasons to doubt.
I'd rather have my relationship structured where you're free to do whatever you want. I'll just pay attention and decide if your natural behaviour is what I am looking for. Uncontrolled, no restrictions, in sync, a natural fit.
Also, after spending a lot of time on this subreddit, I have found some people mask controlling behavior and label it as a boundary. Then they puff their chest like they're in the right:
My boundary is that I expect my GF to be home by 8 every night, call me on the hour, respect what I say, have location services on, impromptu phone checks, delete males of social media.
I get to set these because boundaries are considered “healthy”.
Those aren't boundaries… that's control.
So, arriving at that conclusion. I think its more appropriate to set boundaries on yourself, and then decide if the way your partner acts naturally is what you're looking for.
When I think about it, I don't even think the word boundary popped into conversation once in my current 5 year. Everything was a natural fit and be both exist freely. If you need to change your partner, should you even be with them?
Yeah, this is confusing to me. I think she just finds him unattractive. It sounds like he isn't super into her interests anymore, and that sucks. But I can't help but feel that maybe there's been reactions to his interests or being asked to participate in them that were perhaps less than kind from OP. Not a relationship that needs to exist.
He’s a 20 year old boy. Being fickle comes with the territory and he doesn’t really have any experience with relationships to know what the right thing to do is.
You don't know what triggered him really, you started out joking with a lose lose choice about music, he continued the joke, and then you literally implied he was a pedo, the joke went from music to serious character damaging, it's never cool or funny to joke about your husband who your soposed to love then imply hes a pedo. Obviously mommy being stupid is pretty abusive and over the top but at least you know why now, because you hadn't considered that point though, which is wild to me, but you say your sorry, but don't know why your sorry, you don't realise what you implied.
OP do this because once you do, they won't bother trying again, promise!
He'll be embarrassed.